What is with girls and hugs!!!????? | Page 1 | Blue Haven | Guild Forums

Shu-Nya

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Posted: Sat Sep 08, 2007 12:55 pm

Ok, Im a girl and I HATE hugs.

But where ever I go there are girls hugging everyone one and everything that gets in their way.

WTF!?

Can someone explain to me WHY!? Why do girls feel the need to throw yourself at people? Why????? I seriously don't understand.

Explain.

(btw... Im speaking about girls in a general term....not ALL of them....and now that I think about it some guys hug people too....but for some reason I find that more disturbing......anyway....)

Posted: Sat Sep 08, 2007 7:41 pm

I certainly don't know, since I'm not one of those huggy people.

However, the random hugs I got at Kumoricon made a bit more sense. Those people were just so happy to be around like-minded anime fans.

Kurai-Netsu

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Shu-Nya

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Posted: Sat Sep 08, 2007 8:17 pm

Kurai-Netsu

I certainly don't know, since I'm not one of those huggy people.

However, the random hugs I got at Kumoricon made a bit more sense. Those people were just so happy to be around like-minded anime fans.

Yeah, I understand if your REALLY excited about something..... but I was speaking more about bumping into someone at the shops and going, "Omg! Its *enter name*! I havn't seen you since this morning! *hugs*"

Posted: Sat Sep 08, 2007 8:29 pm

Shu-Nya

Yeah, I understand if your REALLY excited about something..... but I was speaking more about bumping into someone at the shops and going, "Omg! Its *enter name*! I havn't seen you since this morning! *hugs*"

I don't understand that behavior either.

Kurai-Netsu

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[Obsidian Halo]

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Posted: Sun Sep 09, 2007 12:55 am

I like hugs. wink rofl

Posted: Sun Sep 09, 2007 7:05 am

I actually turn it around on people as a threat, I just ask them "do you want a hug?" in a threatening tone and they will flee... mostly because I can make hugs hurt razz

ManateeMan

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Kukushka

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Posted: Sun Sep 09, 2007 7:59 am

I'm from Europe. If I had my way, I'd be kissing everyone I meet three times. But then I moved to England. The first time I tried to kiss someone I met, they started screaming and the rumours about be were still around when I left four years later. So there was no physical contact at all there, which just made me feel really isolated.

So when I moved to the US where hugs are at least acceptable with close friends, that's what I did.

I hate the way so many cultures eschew physical contact. A touch can mean so much and yet it's all "no no no! This is MY space!" People lock themselves away in little bubbles and they wonder why they feel so depressed and isolated. It's just plain stupid. When you want to comfort someone, words only go so far. A touch can go much further. Touch is more basic, more primal. I think it's sad that US culture decided to take after British puritanism and lock out what can make people feel so good and so accepted.

EDIT: My husband is also from Europe and, like me, is very big on hugs. Most of my guy friends can tolerate hugs from me, but some avoid me entirely when my husband is around because they don't want man hugs, lol. Silly homophobic people.

Posted: Sun Sep 09, 2007 10:35 am

Well...I must say that I'm a guy who randomly throws myself at people...randomly...in order to give hugs. I think it's just a personal preference. There are some people I like to hug, and some people I don't like to hug. It's that simple.

Enkidu Awakened

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Shade Skypage

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Posted: Sun Sep 09, 2007 12:41 pm

Personally, I have no problem with hugs and such. I mean, everyone needs at least a certain amount of phyiscal contact from those they care about in a day. I've no problem with hugs and all. I let others choose when to iniate the contact, but by all means, I have no issues with a simple embrace.

Posted: Sun Sep 09, 2007 12:50 pm

Well that's what it really comes down to. Some people like physical contact and some people are afraid of it.

Either state of mind can be bad if carried to an extreme.

I personally hug all of my close friends, and anyone I feel temporarily close to (Usually the result of a good conversation). I try not to hug people randomly because I know some people don't like it. But there's just something rewarding about seeing a close friend who you haven't had contact with for a while and giving them a good tight squeeze.

Masticatius

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Moonwillow Tigerlilly

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Posted: Sun Sep 09, 2007 5:07 pm

I like hugs, but I don't hug everyone I meet. And they're usually kind of lean-away hugs.
I really enjoy the German way of doing it, kisses on the cheeks! I loved doing that, everyone in Germany kisses each other on the cheek when they see each other. My fiance tried to stop me though....

I like hugs. ninja

Posted: Sun Sep 09, 2007 8:13 pm

I find hugs for myself are pleasant. It's like the sign of: "It's okay to relax now." It's a great way to feel good- but mostly if the person returns the comfort of the hug. If someone doesn't or just rejects it totally, it can be an unhappy experience.

So hugging people who don't want to be hugged- I don't do it unless I want to scare them off.

When I was a kid, before the major homophobia started, I used to kiss my best friends on the cheek when I hadn't seen them in while to show how much I'd missed them. It was perfectly okay because of how close we were, and it expressed feelings better than the all too used phrase:"I missed you." Now I just have to settle for kissing my partner, which, I'll admit does make me feel a little unhappy sometimes. I mean, it's not fair to expect him to have heaps of love and cuddly affection whenever I want to express it.

This is one tradition I think would be nice to bring over from Europe, but at the same time, if I thought about my boyfriend kissing a friend he knew but I'd never met, I don't know how I'd react- cheek or not. That would be the downside, but if we'd been raised that way, it would be alright. We would all be used to it.