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Posted: Thu Sep 13, 2007 11:21 pm
-just a little piece about a vampire and his mortal infatuation. thought i'd share 3nodding
Lightly and freely the soft translucent cloth sway, the cool night air calmly brushing the window drape upwards as the gentle air smoothly blew into the room. He watched as the night air lightly flayed the brown strands of her hair against her vanilla cheeks. His irises intently glowed the red; the red of desire, of want, the heated metal red of molten passion.
She was a want things like him would never be allowed to have. And that made him want her more.
The movement of his eyes over her became his hands, as they traveled along the silky skin of her exposed thigh, ascending and playing along the folds of the blouse she wore as a nightgown, climbing further and rolling along the curve of her shoulder that teased his teeth. His fingertips reached the velvet skin of her soft chin, and soon they traced along those vanilla cheeks catching the dancing hair, and setting it behind her ear.
Her breathing was warm, it was tender, and it was steady. The coolness of the night entered her lungs, and would exit as heated breathe, full of life and vitality. Vitality he needed. But more importantly, she breathed the breathes of a dreamer. Life escaped her mouth in a way that let him know her mind was now swimming in the black sea of rest, and her consciousness was flying in the spontaneous star of her imagination.
Oh, if only he could but partake of her dream. If only he could share those breathes that gave her such peace. Slowly, his leaned closer. His lips felt the steady breezes of warmth, and his intent became a fiery phoenix that wanted to melt the bars of his self restraint. However, he was determined, and more importantly, he cared for her.
Little by little he brought his lips closer to hers. His icy lips grew nearer to hers, and soon they felt as if fresh living blood was once again flowing through them. How he’d love to share a dream with her.
Passion pulled his eye lids over his submitting gaze, lust spread his lips slightly apart, and love opened his lungs inhaling her warm dream breathes.
His mouth met with hers, her lips lightly moved as her body new the sensation that she was not awake to experience, and sweetly they kissed. His blood steamed, his muscles pulsed with the fire of love, and for once, this long dead child of the night felt alive again.
The girl’s eyes slowly opened. She looked into the emptiness of her moonlit room, and seeing nothing, pondered as to why her lips felt so cold. Instinctively, her body moved faster than her mind, pulling the cover over her body after coming to the revelation it had fallen off of her, and she turned in her bed opposite of the window.
Away but not far, his crimson bright eyes looked into her room, a tear of ice sneaking down his unfeeling cheek. He watched, as lightly and freely the soft translucent cloth sway, the cool night air calmly brushing the window drape.
Critique softly - i cry easily sweatdrop
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Posted: Sun Sep 16, 2007 6:05 am
That was extremely poetic. It looked like something out of what my mother would call "a steamy romance novel," and a well-written one, at that. Bravo! *applauds*
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Posted: Mon Sep 17, 2007 7:35 am
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Posted: Sun Sep 30, 2007 7:47 pm
Hmm. I'm not really into stories about vampires and the like, but that was definitely intriguing. It makes me want to read more, which, I must say, does not happen often for me in stories like these. I like it.
I'm not really here to critique. Just wanted to drop in a quick praize for a piece well written. Nice job.
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Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2007 8:39 am
!Injured! Nice. I'm not into poems much (except for Raven), but that was well written. !Injured!
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