Welcome to Gaia! ::

Well, I am a MTF and I am on Herbal hormones; so that they can't get me for taking illegal medicine. I am currently trying to like train my voice and all that. My list is huge and I come from a hereatage where hair is abundant besides the head and it bothers me. I ...have taken a lot of painful emotional hits from other people. They don't understand and seem to want to. I have went to a small town and got rejected and I have gotten rejected from my parents at one point. They even harrassed my change. I..just want to be who I am and the world is quite cruel and I have been wanting anything or I should say anybody for support. I...just can't seem to find the right people ...but I hpe this guild might help ^^; even if it is just to talk and support I love that more then anything ^^;

I understand and I follow those words so much. I have only those that support me. I am me and that is all I am. I am Reachel Kari Benson...I am going to be who I am which I feel am a woman. While my tasks are daunting I knwo I can do it ^^!

You will find you are in the right place. We are a very understanding and supportive community. I'm a little worried though. You should not be taking any kind of meds without a doctor looking you over first. Estrogen and T blockers can be very dangerous if not watched carefully. They can cause liver damage and in some cases death. An endocrinologist needs to keep a close eye on your blood to make sure the meds are working correctly and are not hurting you. I know it is rough going without meds, but it can seriously hurt you if you start taking them without proper treatment. You will find alot more info about this kind of thing in the Gender issues area of the guild.

As for being rejected, I've found that is all part of being yourself. The world wants everyone to fit into a nice category that they have chosen for you. The battle against what others think is right is a long and hard one. You have to be prepared mentally and physically to take on such a challenge. This is another reason to not take those meds with out a doctor. Some of the side effects include suicidal tenancies and with the amount of rejection and heart ache you will go through, I do not soften this because you need to know the truth of the road you are taking, it will have an real emotional impact on you. We are here for you if you need us. Also try taking things slower to allow others to adjust to the change. I know you may feel like you want everything to change right this moment but the process is long and should be taken slowly to make sure things work out right.

Well, good luck and jaa ne

Kat

Suit yourself, but you do realize that most surgeons that do this kind of will turn you down the moment they discover that you have not done things the proper way. Most need a reference from an Endocrinologist who has determined that your E and T levels are stable and only with a letter from that doctor can you continue on with the surgery. So doing things yourself may end up screwing you over in the end, having doctors refuse to finish the surgery in the end. So you may want to rethink what you are doing. The rules that doctors have put in place is to make sure you really want to do something like this. You must spend 2 years as a woman without meds of any kind, then another 2 years on monitored meds and only then can you be qualified for the surgery. That is unless you are planning to go to a surgeon in some unknown country then anything goes. I'm just giving you a heads up so that you can get this surgery and don't end up stuck in between.

jaa ne

Kat

Hm, well it is cheaper and sometimes to other people easier probably due to the fact that some people have errors in their lives about what they are doing and faced with their actions sue the nearest person that did it to them; the doctor I can believe there is rules...I understand that I probably screwed myself for anything on the fact of surgery but I...have hope...I know that probably won't persude the doctor to continue...however I am not going to go to a doctor and just ask for it. I am about to follow order...however yes herbal hormones will unbalance my T and E levels but I have hope and ...determination that I can face and hopefully go through life trails that are ahead of me. I might be young and I might not be a really battle hardened and like older...but I have faced enough physicalogical battle scars. Going insane twice and having my grandmother's town turn on me and treated me nothing short of a sexual predator of children ...I have seen the face of terror and I am ...or probably will for the rest of my life have to face it. I plan on going on normal or doctor sanctioned medicine and I know I am going to go through grueling tests and that dumb question..."are you ready?" and "You will never be the same or the way you were..." type questions. I...know I must sound like a brat or something...I just feel horribly strong towards this...I have questioned and questioned myself and this is the solution I have come everytime I have done it...this is the life and the pain I have chose for myself. *sighs*...but Kat, thank you for the procedures...I am glad to have somebody that ...helps support me and trides to give advice to help guide me. I know that guide that is well knowledge is to be strongly considered...however that life is full of choices I have to make for myself and myself only. I do however appriciate everybody that is behind me...even if I haven't seen any of you in real life I appriciate this...so much. I have gone through hell tring to find somebody that I can confide in and that I can trust in to help me. I think I found a group with considerable understanding and that is what I try or probably come to depend on ^^; But for the actions and answers for my problems will only come from me.