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Don't buy the bullshit

Family members often lack understanding or compassion for the work you are doing. Their outright accusations or naive blunders can be terrible. Sometimes the insidious nature of a relative who is trying to be supportive, but slips in a little jab now and then, can be harder to deal with than clear-cut rejection.
With practice, you can recognize and reject these barbs immediately, before the first strains of self-doubt and confusion set in. To help, we've compiled a list of some of the worst (and most common) one-liners used on survivors by their families.
If you hear one of these, don't believe it. It doesn’t matter that your mother says she has your best interests at heart, or that your grandmother has always given you good advice in the past. Their responses are more likely based on the fact that they are uncomfortable with what you are doing and want you to stop.
These stock lines don't have anything to do with reality, but you're bound to hear at least a few of them. When you do, remember, you're not alone. You read them here first.

* It happened a long time ago. Why don’t you leave it behind you and go on. Stop living in the past.
* Now what exactly did he do?
* Your father (uncle, brother, grandfather, mother, etc.) could never do such a thing.
* You've always been crazy. Now you've gone and made this up.
* You're just jumping on the incest bandwagon.
* What do you expect me to do about it now?
* We only call those experiences to us that we need to grow.
* It must be karma from a past life.
* You must have been a very sexy little girl.
* How did you bring this on yourself?
* Are you going to hold onto this forever?
* Now honey, it wasn't that bad.
* It only happened once. What's the big deal?
* But he didn't penetrate you, did he?
* But didn't you enjoy it?
* Why didn't you stop it?
* Why didn't you tell me?
* I don't believe it. A mother could never do that to her child.
* Give your bother a chance. He really misses you.
* Forgive and forget.
* Your therapist brainwashed you. She implanted those memories in your head.
* You're the victim of "false memory syndrome"
* You must be a lesbian because your mother molested you.
* You must be a lesbian because your father molested you.
* I don't want to talk about it.
* I don't want to hear about it
* Now look at the trouble you've caused.

Develop an instant bullshit deflector. When one of these comes your way, scoop it up and throw it back. Tell the person you never want to hear that particular bit of advice again.

Ducky, sad to say that I agree with you! And in my mind, FAMILY should be the pillar on which you stand! They should be the ppl supporting you even when the rest of the world isn't! evil