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 Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2007 2:42 pm
On Sunday night, (yes this sunday) I was raped in my ex-partners apartment (she was my partner at the time) while my ex just sat there and watched.
That night I couldn't sleep almost at all, and that morning all I could do was sleep. I felt so bad, and so terrible, how could I let him do that to me? I don't know... I didn't want to, I said no so many times, but he didn't stop crying And soon... I just froze... I froze and couldn't do anything but do whatever he wanted to do to me.
I was so disgusted with myself, I wanted to take a shower, but I didn't (which later I found out this was good that I didn't) and I just changed clothes and threw my clothes I was wearing in the garbage can, I wanted to burn them, but I didn't have a match.
I then ate what little I could bring myself to eat, and then I went and turned on my tv and played some video games to distract me from thinking about what happened to me, but... I couldn't... and soon I just... fell asleep on my bed... and slept for almost 6 to 8 hours.
I woke up at like 8 pm and then I called my partner and told her what I was really feeling. She advised me to call my mommy, so I did. She did some weird three way call with her cell phone, and I told her what happened, she then told me to call the police and report it, so I did.
And they asked me if I still had the clothes and if I had taken a shower, I told them the clothes were in a garbage can and I hadn't taken a shower that night. They said that was a good thing, but then I couldn't stop crying, everything about what had happened that night came to me in a big flood, and I couldn't stop crying and thinking about what had happened to me.
The lady on the other end stayed on the phone with me, and my landlord also did, he was really helpful I thanked him a lot. He gave me a sprite and a root beer from his fridge and it was so nice.
Anyway then the police came and I gave them a statement and they said I had to be checked out at the hospital. So they called an ambulance, and shortly after it arrived. They were all really nice to me, even the ambulance staff, and so were the hospital staff. I had to tell what happened to me to the ambulance people though.Then a nurse came in and I had to tell my story to them too, and then I also had to tell it to a doctor, and the last person I had to tell it to was the SAU nurse (Sexual Assault Unit) and that was hard to say it so many times, but... it also... helped a little.
After they gave me a colonoscopy and other tests that are kind of embarrassing to talk about... redface I called my landlord and he said he'd pick me up. I thanked him soooo much, and then he came and took me home.
Then on Tuesday I broke up with my partner because she didn't protect me. Then I found out she didn't believe me that it was rape, she told the police that I never said no and that it seemed all consensual to her... and she completely destroyed my credibility, so now this guy is going to get away with it and there isn't anything I can do... I need a hug crying
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Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 5:46 pm
That's horrid!
: emotion_hug :
People can be so cruel...
I'm just so happy you're alright, though!
I mean, I understand that it was purely wretched,
But at least you're not lying dead on the side of the road or something...
Mmm... If you need to talk about anything, I'm here.
Even if you just need to talk about mindless things that have nothing to do with anything -- I'm still here.
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The Littlest Panda Vice Captain
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Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 6:28 pm
I'm so sorry to hear that!! I want to ring that b*****d's neck!
I sort of know how you feel, but I'm not ready to go into details about that.
If you need ANYTHING, let me know hun.
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Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 10:59 pm
Chelsea my darling. I am so sorry that this has happened.
Id love to have this mans bone brittle under the crushing blows of my fists and medieval flail.
And that girl..what the ******** does she think she is doing!? Fear not sweetheart. God will get them back <3 I pray that you are alright.
I wish I could cradle you hun. <3
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Posted: Fri Sep 21, 2007 11:35 am
xxs t i t c h e s
That's horrid!
: emotion_hug :
People can be so cruel...
I'm just so happy you're alright, though!
I mean, I understand that it was purely wretched,
But at least you're not lying dead on the side of the road or something...
Mmm... If you need to talk about anything, I'm here.
Even if you just need to talk about mindless things that have nothing to do with anything -- I'm still here.
*sniff* I'm still... so traumatized by it, it keeps playing in my head over and over again, I can't make it stop crying And I got like only 4 hours of sleep last night, because I just can't, thank you all for your support. Luckily I found out that the SAU people believe me, so I'm going to be given a chance to destroy HER credibility. She's half deaf, how could her statement possibly be correct?
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Posted: Fri Sep 21, 2007 4:58 pm
I never had wish death or torture to someone that screams and begs for it; however, this is an exception.
You're so sweet and kind to others and didn't deserve nor provoke that to happen to you.
Your partner is a b***h and the guy needs to be castrated.
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Posted: Fri Sep 21, 2007 7:55 pm
SkyKat I never had wish death or torture to someone that screams and begs for it; however, this is an exception.
You're so sweet and kind to others and didn't deserve nor provoke that to happen to you.
Your partner is a b***h and the guy needs to be castrated.
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Posted: Sat Sep 22, 2007 4:22 am
princesschelsea5 SkyKat I never had wish death or torture to someone that screams and begs for it; however, this is an exception.
You're so sweet and kind to others and didn't deserve nor provoke that to happen to you.
Your partner is a b***h and the guy needs to be castrated.
She shouldn't be.
*hugs*
If any of her/ your other friends are on her side, they should be dead/ forgotten as well. Restraining Order on them would be nice too.
Remember this and I pressume all here will agree, you DO have friends here and we all love you.
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Posted: Sat Sep 22, 2007 9:42 am
SkyKat princesschelsea5 SkyKat I never had wish death or torture to someone that screams and begs for it; however, this is an exception.
You're so sweet and kind to others and didn't deserve nor provoke that to happen to you.
Your partner is a b***h and the guy needs to be castrated.
She shouldn't be.
*hugs*
If any of her/ your other friends are on her side, they should be dead/ forgotten as well. Restraining Order on them would be nice too.
Remember this and I pressume all here will agree, you DO have friends here and we all love you.
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Posted: Sat Sep 22, 2007 12:18 pm
SkyKat princesschelsea5 SkyKat I never had wish death or torture to someone that screams and begs for it; however, this is an exception.
You're so sweet and kind to others and didn't deserve nor provoke that to happen to you.
Your partner is a b***h and the guy needs to be castrated.
She shouldn't be.
*hugs*
If any of her/ your other friends are on her side, they should be dead/ forgotten as well. Restraining Order on them would be nice too.
Remember this and I pressume all here will agree, you DO have friends here and we all love you.
Mmhmmm.
As I've said, all of us are here.
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Posted: Sat Sep 22, 2007 12:20 pm
ishiitan SkyKat princesschelsea5 SkyKat I never had wish death or torture to someone that screams and begs for it; however, this is an exception.
You're so sweet and kind to others and didn't deserve nor provoke that to happen to you.
Your partner is a b***h and the guy needs to be castrated.
She shouldn't be.
*hugs*
If any of her/ your other friends are on her side, they should be dead/ forgotten as well. Restraining Order on them would be nice too.
Remember this and I pressume all here will agree, you DO have friends here and we all love you. Well, I'd have to say yes you DO have friends here. I know what you're going through I've hlped so many ofmy friends who've had similair expeirences and quite frankly....Where's that hatchet? Oh nevermind, I could get thrown in jail for that....But if you ever need someone to talk to, I'll be happy to listen and give what advice I can. I've helped alot of my friends out, and after turning 18, I've kind of got alot of advice to give
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Posted: Sat Sep 22, 2007 12:24 pm
*sniff* Thank you, thank you everyone. It's hard, I mean this is the most traumatizing thing I've ever been t hrough. I never know what's going to happen with me next, sometimes I just start crying, and thinking about what happened, sometimes I can't sleep, most of the day I relive it over and over again, it's soo so scary crying
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Posted: Sat Sep 22, 2007 12:30 pm
Well, if you ever need a shoiulder to cry on, you can use mine.
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Posted: Sat Sep 22, 2007 1:35 pm
*sniff* Thank you *hugs everyone*
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Posted: Tue Oct 16, 2007 9:39 am
I've got a little bit of an update to what happened, I'm getting therapy and counseling for sexual assault PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) so things have been going better, I've been getting more sleep, but I just can't stop waking up in the middle of the night. Or having nightmares. Jeez I wish this would all go away crying
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