Welcome to Gaia! ::

Well, growing up, I always told myself that when I got older, I'd get a wife and have children and just stop caring about everything else and focus all of me, on them.

Life's pretty harsh, and it really takes a lot for you to be able to genuinely appreciate life. Lots of us just can't take it, there's just too much. So it's only logical for us to want to get away from it, but does anyone else look at those sort of relationships as a way of escaping the bigger picture? (Though I bl--dy well can't tell you what the bigger picture is.)

This one will spare talking in the third person. As far as my line of thinking on such things goes, it's partly an escape from reality, but at the same time, it also alters our perception of reality. If it weren't for me falling so hard in the past for a girl that I know, I wouldn't have been able to write some of the beautiful poems that I have. It brings the world to a differnet light, for not many people are altruistic by nature. I'd love to be able to have a proper relationship with a lady, but sadly my luck has not been so grand. So, until I can find one who will love me as I am, I'll continue my own love, as a swordsman.

Relationships shouldn't really be entered into unless one feels that they will help you in your engagement with the world. In this sense relationships of fearful escapism are really not the way forward.

When you say "The way forward." is that just in a general sense, or are you aware of a goal that we should be heading to, if so, could you tell me? I'm curious.

What I've got so far, is people are agreeing with relationships being used as an escape, but saying it's not a wise move. I'm wondering if marriage is a wise move, and that perhaps there could be some middle ground with more leverage so people wont feel so held down. But then you've got to consider if children came into the equation.

Here's a question for you.

Would you rather be the child of a divorced marriage, or the child of a couple that were never married?

Ive never thought as relationships as escapes.
I mean.

I get more reality in relationships than I do anywhere else D:

But I guess, if you just stop focusig on yourself to focus on your family, partner, whatever, I can see it being that way.

I mean, love, or just flirting and all that can take you away, up up into the clouds and keep you happy.

But I dont know. I guess it all goes about how you go around your relationships.
Weather or not their dramaish filled with the stuff around you.
Superficial with all the love and cloudyness.
Or just down to earth, and being real and realistic and whatnot.

Honesty.

If you were honest with your partner, and told them that you cared about them, but the reason why you were getting into the relationship was because you wanted to take your mind off everything, they'd be understanding and accepting. If that doesn't suit them though, then they wouldn't have to get into the relationship in the first place (I'm sure that there's people out there from both sexes that'd find the concept appealing). I seriously don't think they're doomed to fail but it's easy to understand why the average person wants to simply pass the idea of people getting into relationships to escape reality as being stupid and doomed to failure. It's not as if the usual reasons people get into relationships are much better though. "I've got nothing better to do." "I'm really horny." "Mother nature's presence is really kicking in and I'm not strong willed enough to resist it so I'll call my weakness Love and give into it. Please do the same."

Escapism is perfectly normal. You might not get as much out of life if you do so, can't have that because we're all greedy. But if it were to work properly, it'd make life a hell of a lot easier and it's better than the other ways people escape. At least you'd be repopulating.

And for the record, relationships don't really NEED to be based on anything.

I agree.

Your mom's a form of escapism.