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Insomnia inspires us to write some stupid things. This is one of them.
My ability is taken to an all time low in this piece, but that tends to happen when writing at 4 in the frikkin morning when there are classes to go to at 8. Hopefully it's at least half as amusing later as I seem to think it is now
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I was at the local Waffle House (ok, so there are 5 Waffle Houses all within 10 miles of each other here) with some friends of mine a little after midnight (best time for Waffle House). We were enjoying our waffles and hash browns when a strange fellow entered the building.

"Holy schweetness, it's a leprechaun!" exclaimed Will, unable to contain his excitement as he jumped out of the chair and pointed.

We all turned our heads to get a better look at the fellow. Sure enough, he was a short little man wearing a green suit with a big white beard, but he also had Mardi Gras beads around his neck. He was handing the beads out to various people in the restaurant.

And was as drunk as you'd expect any Irishman to be at this hour.

"Sure looks like a leprechaun" replied Joe, more interested in devouring his waffle.

I was a little skeptical. "It can't be a leprechaun. Why does he have Mardi Gras beads? It's not exactly very Irish."

"Maybe he went to the Mardi Gras parade downtown."

"Do leprechauns celebrate Mardi Gras?"

Joe shrugged. "Why not? It's a great opportunity to get wasted, and do you think a leprechaun would turn that down?"

"I want his gold!" shouted Will as he tried to fight his way over Joe to get out of the booth.

"Sit down, he probably spent it all on booze."

"He's a leprechaun, he must have gold somewhere!"

"Right, right. And how are you going to get it?"

"I'm going to ask him for it, of course. If that doesn't work, I'll threaten him somehow."

"That will be amusing."

The leprechaun, having made it's way around the building, finally came to our booth. He grabbed a handful of beads and handed them to us all. And in a very non Irish, drunken slur said to us "Here ya go! Happy Mardi Gras! *hic*"

"Eh, just some drunken midget..."

"Give me your gold you leprechaun!" shouted Will, standing in his chair so that he can reach over the table to grab the little man.

The little man stared at Will in shock. "What, leprechaun? I'm not even Iri..."

Will grabbed a bottle of A-1 sauce and broke it on the table and held the broken end in the face of the man. "I know you have gold now you tell me where it is you son of a..."

"Will, get control of yourself!" We all screamed and jumped on Will, trying to hold him back. "He's not even Irish!"

"He's trying to fool us so that we don't think he's a leprechaun!"

"I think, the man is actually just a midget who was out celebrating Mardi Gras, and he is..."

"A LEPRECHAUN!"

"Will you stop with this leprechaun nonsense!"

Suddenly, we noticed that the little man was gone.

"You let him get away!"

"You probably scared the little man out of his wits...C'mon, let's pay our bills and get out of here."

A few hours later, the little man was found passed out in the toilet boll. He had run to the restroom to vomit and, because he was so small, he fell into the toilet, and passed out.

eek And I thought MY friends were strange! They've all done odd stuff, but they've never started yelling about leprechauns before!

I like the characters, though - very realistic 3nodding

And as regards to the poll, please do continue writing stories while half asleep - it's funny! smile

That was actually quite amusing. I was amazed that your poor drunken midget didn't drown when he fell in the toilet bowl, but then again, maybe he was big enough to fit without drowning. smile

I think you should continue to write when you're half asleep. smile

Agh, geez people, nothing to see here! If you want to see my good stuff go dig up "I Hate Wal-Mart" or one of my more intelligent writings. You can find it in the index of authors and stories xp

Dang, I'm the only one who voted that I should never write while half asleep... sweatdrop

...eh, thanks you guys. Though I think you're all crazy. domokun

If only Will was named Mitch....

If you don't get that, read the whole thing over again, replacing "Will" with "Mitch".

biggrin