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 Posted: Wed Oct 31, 2007 1:20 pm
6 reasons not to mess with children:
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal, its t hroat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After exp laining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shalt not kill."
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer; she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael; he's a doctor."
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher; she's dead."
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."
"Yes," the class said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position, the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted,
"Cause your feet ain't empty."
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted it on the apple tray:
"Take only ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
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Posted: Wed Oct 31, 2007 9:40 pm
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Posted: Thu Nov 01, 2007 12:12 am
Yes, thanx for the laugh runs! lol
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Posted: Thu Nov 01, 2007 7:24 am
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Posted: Thu Nov 01, 2007 9:24 am
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Posted: Thu Nov 01, 2007 11:08 am
rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl too funny rofl rofl rofl Owwww, my sides ache rofl rofl rofl rofl
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Posted: Fri Nov 02, 2007 5:15 am
This stuff is scary- I am in school to be an elementary school teacher lol
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Posted: Fri Nov 02, 2007 8:18 pm
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Posted: Sat Nov 03, 2007 3:14 pm
Swirli Yes, thanx for the laugh runs! lol You are welcome Swirli.. HEY, what you got in the basket? rolleyes
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Posted: Sat Nov 03, 2007 3:16 pm
starvixen80 This stuff is scary- I am in school to be an elementary school teacher lol Beware teacher... kids are too smart and can be brutal! rofl
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Posted: Sat Nov 03, 2007 5:07 pm
runswithscissors421 Swirli Yes, thanx for the laugh runs! lol You are welcome Swirli.. HEY, what you got in the basket? rolleyes I don't really know yet? It's one of those breedable pet things? My lovely Sister (SilverPug) gave it to me. I can't wait to find out myself!
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Posted: Sat Nov 03, 2007 6:47 pm
Swirli runswithscissors421 Swirli Yes, thanx for the laugh runs! lol You are welcome Swirli.. HEY, what you got in the basket? rolleyes I don't really know yet? It's one of those breedable pet things? My lovely Sister (SilverPug) gave it to me. I can't wait to find out myself! Really?? too cool! So, what do you do with it? Do you have to feed it and stuff? Or is it dated and changes after a certain date??
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Posted: Mon Dec 31, 2007 7:38 am
lol those were great....kids say the funniest things..i especially liked the one where the teacher gets told she's going to hell and the one where they say the teacher will be dead rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl
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