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And I don't care if you don't give a rats a**!


I don't care if it will never work out. I don't care if I have to wait until I'm out of college to be with him. I don't care if everyone disapproves. I don't care if the ride ends badly. I don't even care if he doesn't want a relationship with me - all that matters is that I have loved and been loved, and if tomorrow I wake up despising him, it won't matter. I know that I can feel.

That is enough for me.

Over the last month, I've suddenly developed a severe insomnia, lying awake for hours on end. I've tempered it off by reading from my Shakespeare book - it all seems so much more interesting now that I know he's into Theatre! (What's more, I'm actually getting emotional about them!)

Not only that, but I'm actually hearing love songs for the first time.

Oh my love for the first time in my life,
My eyes are wide open,
Oh my lover for the first time in my life,
My eyes can see,

I see the wind,
Oh I see the trees,
Everything is clear in my heart,
I see the clouds,
Oh I see the sky,
Everything is clear in our world,

Oh my love for the first time in my life,
My mind is wide open,
oh my lover for the first time in my life,
My mind can feel,

I feel the sorrow,
Oh I feel dreams,
Everything is clear in my heart,
Everything is clear in our world,
I feel the life,
Oh I feel love.

It's completely true. I feel...open. I feel connected to the Void, like benevolent nihilism. My mind is working faster. I'm listening to the CDs I never played. I've started shooting antique guns, because I know he likes them. I'm reading up on postmodernism and watching the Matrix again, because he's into that.

This happened before when I first fell for him, but then it was tempered with despair and longing. Now it's fueled by burning interest, pure and simple. I want to know who he is, because I know he's not the guy I thought he was.



Most shockinly of all, and perhaps a blasphemy to the entire guild, but The Beatles just aren't that important to me anymore.
I love their music, I love their persons, I love their story, and I am grateful for all that they did for me, but I am no longer dependant on their support. I've taken what they had to give, and they are no longer essential to my soul. In short, I've moved on. (Don't get me wrong, I'm here to stay! And I'll continue making horrible Beatle-y puns, as in the next sentence.) The world is my oyster...and I am the Walrus! Ah ha ha!

It's okay that you don't need the Beatles, we still love you. While we are what separates the maniacs from the casual listeners, we all have lives of our own, and that's a good thing. I've sort of moved on from the Beatles recently myself, actually, and found more interest in the Rockabilly scene (thanks to a man....what is it that they do to us? sweatdrop ). I still love the Beatles too, but my interests are expanding and there's nothing wrong with diversity in your life, eh?

You go after that boy, and keep us updated! whee

Good for you!

Thanks. smile

I'm definitely happy right now. biggrin

^ If she broke up with you over myspace, it was obviously not worth it and was an immature relationship and not be taken seriously or to blame yourself. She is obviously the one with the problems if she's breaking up with someone over myspace because she is too much of a coward to say anything to your face or talk about it.

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I want more updates on this (almost a year ago) love you had!!