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 Posted: Sat Nov 10, 2007 7:19 pm
hey I hope you like it you can tell me what you like or don't like feel free to give me comments. mrgreen a little girl wants to be noticed so she screams and makes a scene b/c no one understands her unheaerd " notice me please just notice me " so she cry's herself to sleep with hopes of maybe some one will hear what is unheard tommorow I know it is small but... I hope you like it whee
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Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2007 7:43 pm
Ah short, but to the point. It reminds me of "The Little Girl Who Was Forgotten by Absolutely Everyone." It was a great little piece as well. Of course that one went a little more to a crazier side haha. As for yours I have to say I did like your ending, the way you phrased it gave it that pessimistic hope, which in a crazy way is really cool. So good job on that, nice little phrase ^_^.
Write more, post more, and review others, that's my additional comment ^_^
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Posted: Mon Nov 12, 2007 4:59 pm
well I glad YOU liked it Her is anouther one
Trapped like a bird all alone
no one to talk to but my owner
who I don't understand
What do I do I want to be free
What do I do I want a real home
What do I do I'm so confused
What do I do my head is spinning
Look there are hands that are not my owners they are nailed to a cross bleeding for you and me
he forgives and still loves me when I sin who could ask for me
What do I do I want to be free
What do I do I want a real home
What do I do I'm so confused
What do I do my head is spinning
I chose mercy, truth, and grace not a cage
I chose freedom, forgiveness, and love instead of not being able to understand
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Posted: Sat Nov 17, 2007 6:45 pm
awesomeness, ^_^ Always nice to throw in one's belief into a poem..or well in this case it is more like a song. You should sing it! Lol XD. So do you still read these up on the stand? Or are you only twirling your words upon paper alone? You should definitely recite some of these, it'd be lovely to see where emphasis would be.
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Posted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 4:40 pm
Well not so much anymore in fact i have been so busy I am lucky to still have time to go onlie for fun
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Posted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 9:04 pm
Aye I see, well you know, sometimes getting busy is actually a good thing, because the more experience you have of life, the more you have to write about ^_^ Lol of course that is if everything is all new and nifty and not routine. Haha XD. Still whenever you get the chance, make sure to sit down and write, writing is a great medium, and should never be passed up, less talent be waste.
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Posted: Wed Nov 21, 2007 10:20 am
it is a great stress relief for me so I would not give up writing even if some one were to threaten me... 3nodding
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Posted: Wed Nov 21, 2007 10:24 am
Here is Another mrgreen
Worship you
I wrote you this song in hopes of pleasing you but that is not hard to do as long as we stay pure and worship you
Your amazing God so amazing I only see a little when I worship
your wonderful Jesus so wonderful we only see a little when we worship
I wrote you this song in hopes of pleasing you but that is not hard to do as long as we stay pure and worship you
You love me like no other can none are greater then you
I want to spend eternity with you I worship you
I wrote you this song in hopes of pleasing you but that is not hard to do as long as we stay pure and worship you
you are worth nothing less then worship forever you deserve everyone’s worship and praise
I wrote you this song in hopes of pleasing you but that is not hard to do as long as we stay pure and worship you
I wrote you this song in hopes of pleasing you but that is not hard to do as long as we stay pure and worship you
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Posted: Wed Nov 21, 2007 10:26 am
And another ninja
Words cannot begin to describe you
No one can prepare for your majesty
You are so great nothing is greater
Nothing is better then you
Lord God I am the Father of us all
We worship you
Lord God I am the Father of us all
We thank you for your forgiveness
Lord God I am the Father of us all
We thank you for all you've done
you sent your son to die for our sins
So nothing would keep us from you
Your love knows no bounds
Your always there and you always care
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Posted: Sun Nov 25, 2007 7:58 pm
eek Those are incredible! They drive home to the heart, touching the aching parts in need of Truth! They say in only a few words what others struggle to capture otherwise! Wow! They're grand (to say the least)!
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Posted: Tue Nov 27, 2007 8:31 pm
Well well well what do we have here? Another little gold spot of gems. Well, I think I like the third poem the best...wait let me recount them haha. Yeah it is the third, the first one is kind of tiny (but cool in its own way). As for the third one though, it reminds me a lot of...well I heard a woship song like it before, I am pretty confident I have, anyways it was nicely well done. Good job! pirate
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Posted: Tue Dec 11, 2007 1:18 pm
Here is anouther poem Hug me and don't let me go don't leave me
Loveless
Kiss me and take my hand don't leave me
Loveless
Hold me and stroke my hair don't leave me
Loveless
stay with me and never leave don't leave me
Loveless
come home and rock me to sleep don't leave me
Loveless
whatever you do don't leave me
Loveless
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Posted: Sun Dec 30, 2007 2:50 pm
I like this last one. Something I'm always wanting to say, but never know how. Not saying I'll steal it! I'm just saying, if there was one thing I'd say to a loved one, that'd be it. Keep your pen moving and the poetry flowing, my dear!
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Posted: Mon Mar 31, 2008 3:28 pm
her is anouther poem
Is it all a game
you joke and laugh while you rip my heart out is it all a game to you?
do you care that it is my heart your destroying?
you ask what's wrong while I sob like you really care.
I want to say if you actually cared you'd know.
but I bite my tongue and say it's nothing.
you never notice my sadness in my eyes or see the pain Ihide inside.
you never understand my unheard pleas or hear the words I never speak.
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