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 Posted: Sat Nov 10, 2007 10:15 pm
If I were to write about that which I know, I’d write about love. What love is, how I knew what love is not—love is sunlight, sweet high grass, and birds thrumming low throated songs in the thrush. Love is glistening off your hair, breathlessness, exquisite peace as your breath ghosts over my face. Hollowness right below my breast, somewhere in between my ribcage as I hear some song about love, and I know and you do too, thirty miles away; I wish you could hear it too.
Love is conceived in silence because music makes its own love. Silence, silvery soundless silence is when the violins are muted in my ears—music stopped and only whispering in the corners of my mind. I miss you.
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Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2007 7:35 pm
Nhice, not all poetry has to rhyme, free verse is good as well, and I like what you did with it. You were very eloquent with the way you set it up, and it flowed nicely. You gave some good analogies and when you tied it off at the end you let your idea hit and it wasn't a twist but it did leave to a nice point. Er what I mean is that lol, when I was reading it seemed as if going in a different approach and then you hit "Silence, silvery soundless silence is when the violins are muted in my ears—music stopped and only whispering in the corners of my mind." which I have to say is my favorite line, and well it just made me go...'nhice' Good job, and great words, keep it up ye old vocabularian.
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Posted: Tue Nov 27, 2007 8:52 pm
Sometimes you can just read the first line of something and know it is going to be good, well when I read the first line I got that exact feeling, it was really cool how you set it up. You told the reader what you know and that is about love, and you gave them what love is and when you say the whole line about the music being silenced (like mortal said that was amazing), I think it shows how all of that has just been silenced, it shows how you know what love is not, it is the absence of what was there, and without the person you're missing, it is like all birds quieted their songs in the thrush, however you know that it is there, just as you know that the sounds of the violins, and although they are muted, you know what you are missing and because of that you know you're missing them... Not sure if I explained what i got from it coherently, but yeah haha, it was good.
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Posted: Wed Nov 28, 2007 7:17 pm
Why do you guys always over analyze something? Seriously hehehe, I love the poem, and it is great to picture that kind of love heart heart
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Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 1:54 pm
I think I could kiss you all, I kid you not. Thank you so much for reviewing--I'm never quite sure how stuff will be recieved. sweatdrop
Ha, now I will hunt you all down and read all of your stuff, review glowingly, and then--I don't know. Dance a bit more. rofl
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Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 4:16 pm
Well you already hunted mine down and reviewed, thanks ^_^. Lol but yeah, I agree it is hard to wonder how a piece of 'art' will be received by others, but you did a good job, so fret not! haha XD.
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Posted: Fri Dec 21, 2007 11:11 am
Whoa... I read that and I don't even know what to say... It hit the spot... I know what you mean... (Even though it's not exact...) That is an exquisite poem! You should write more! 3nodding
(Thanks for reviewing mine by the way...!!)
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