I'm going to import a story type thingy that I'm working in my journal into this thread. My mummy thinks that I could be a writer. My brother thinks the same thing. I need a third or more opinion on my writing.
I'm sorry if I posted this in the wrong subforum. =|
The year 2010 was quite a shocker. Quite a shocker indeed. Scientists have finally developed a way to cross animal genes with human genes. It was quite a discovery. Though, the price, testing it on humans. Guess we could call it a 'punishment' for testing on animals all these years. The new globallized world has legallized using it for recreational use. You'd see people walking down the street with cat ears, alligator skin, dog-like legs, and abnormal eyes. But, the government has gone too far when they legallized the testing of ancient animal DNA on humans. Febuary 1st is when the debating proved positive with flying covers. All 5000 members of the new parliment approved of it. Testing began after one hour of the debate passing. Literaly. There would be billboards up and holograms on walls that basically said 'Let us test on you, and you will recieve a fresh pile on cash.' as we all know, money is already overpowering us. We would do anything for it. So hey, why not risk our lives to make a quick grand? The first one subject was a female. An average punk. Torn black pants, with chains, brown eyes, steel-toed combat boots, tank-top like shirt, both arms covered in tribal tattoos, a hair style that would say '******** you', an immitation shark tooth necklace, a oval-like face, standing at 5'10" and weighing at 130 lbs. Basically a social outcast. The DNA to be used, was from a dragons tooth, dug up about a year ago from a deep-excavation dig. "Now, you've already read in the disclaimer that we are not responsible for any kind of damage. Physichal or mental, short term or long term, correct?" Said a voice coming from a megaphone in a corner of the room. Celes looked at the pane of unbreakable glass and nodded. "Just get it over with." She blurted out. The male scientist nodded. She looked at the name tag of the doctor before looking up at the white ceiling. Dr. Carmack... I've gotta remember that... A robot holding a 25-mL syringe in it's cold claws put the needle about a half a millimetre away from her right forearm. There was a slight hint of doubt in Celes. After 10 seconds of tension, the robot slowly put pressure on the skin. After putting 7 lbs of pressure on it, about a quarter of the needle went into her arm. Celes' left hand clinged onto the given rail as if she were going down a really big rollar coaster. The opaque liquid in the cylinder slowly left the cylinder to go into her blood vessels. The arm pulled away quickly and a piece of cotton went onto the small puncture. Her vision began to go all blurry. Then her body went numb. She began to lose consiousnes. A explosion that had the force of 50 AGM-65 mavericks if they struck simultaniously. The chair immediately tipped over, and so did Celes. Gun shots from an AK-47. The dust created from the huge 10 meter wide hold settled. She saw an outline of a human being, and the outline of a gun, then, she passed out.
((INTERMISSION))
10 minutes later, she regained enough consiousness to see what was going on. Her sight was, a bit more refined. Able to take in more detail. She figured out that she was in a back of a heavily armoured van. "Quick, she's awake, get me a shot of adrenaline!" Yelled an obviously female voice beside her. An outline of a human holding a 15-mL syringe crouch walked over to the female beside her and held out the syringe to her. Just then, a powerful anti-tank mine flipped the van over. She watched the people in the van hover for a second. The syringe flew to the back of the van. Right when the roof of the van hit ground, she dropped out of the un-fastenned stretcher and onto the new floor of the van. After 10 seconds of the van flipping, one person slowly stood up and looked at Celes before she passed out again. Another 10 minuites later, a bump woke her up. Someone was dragging her. Front side facing down. It felt like she was being dragged by an extension of her spine. Well, she was. Celes openned her eyes. Slowly. When her eyes were fully open, she looked behind her to see who was dragging her. Another outline. But, now that they were in the light, she could get better detail. It was a person, in a gun-metal coloured suit with a full face mask. She noticed that there was a blue-ish, scaley like rope in the persons hand. She followed it, and it led right to her tailbone. Celes immediately turned onto her back. The sudden movement made the person stop and look behind. The person noticed that she'd finally woken up. It let go of her tail and faced towards her. Celes, still trying to figure out what the ******** happenned, slowly pushed away with her hands. Her new slits for eyes wandered all over the place.
((INTERMISSION AGAIN))
All the new detail that she never used to see with her previous eyes, she wasn't used to it. Everywhere she looked, rubble, tall buildings with holes in the sides, dust, rebar sticking out of almost everything. The person took off the face mask, it was a female. A nice angular shape face, black hair, blue eyes, cute nose, and razor thin lips. But, something was different from the normal humans. She had cat ears. Her origional ears were gone. There eyes met for five seconds, before her new saviour said something. "Are you okay?" Celes let out a rather low pitched laugh. "No, I've got a ******** tail! And... My eyes are... Fff....Iiee~!" She stopped supporting her body up, which made her drop flat on the ground. She stared at the sky, still un-able to soak everything in. After about 20 seconds, her saviour broke the silence. "Can you move it?" Celes made looked confused for a second. Move wha- She suddenly exhaled Oh... That... She lifted her head and looked at her tail. She stared at it. Thinking about it moving. Finally, after about 15 seconds, it leaned to the right slightly. A jolt of joy shot through her body and let out a bit of a smile. Her tail was as long as her. Just one inch less. Her saviour smiled a little aswell. Celes began thinking of curling it. She concentrated hard, trying to find the right muscles again. It only took 6 seconds before the tail began to curl. The small movement gave Celes a boost in confidence and concentrated even harder. After 15 seconds, her tail was in a full curl. Celes began to grin like an idiot now. This could prove to be easy... She began wagging it whist in the curl. Her saviour began to look around. We've gotta get out of here... She thought. Celes was interrupted by a hand blocking the view of her tail. "I'm Alyssa." Celes looked at the hand for a bit. "...I'm Celes." Their palms met. Alyssa helped Celes up. Even though Celes did all the work. Alyssa put her mask back on. "Come on, I know where we can get away, we are not safe here." Celes looked around. "Oh come on! There's no danger around he-" She looked quickly to the right. Something caught her attention. Alyssa was looking in the same direction. They both began to lean to the left slowly. A click. They both immediately sprinted. Gunshots from some kind of 5.56x48MM rifle echoed throughout the area.
((INTERMISSION))
Celes tripped over her own tail and landed face down on the ground. She looked behind her and rolled behind a large piece of concreate with rebar sticking out of it. She had to drag her tail behind it aswell. Celes looked around for Alyssa. She too, was behind a pile of rubble not too far behind. She was pointing behind Celes. It took a bit for her to register that she was telling her to look behind her. She turned around. A gun store was right behind her. She crawled into the store. It had quite a selection. CX4 Carbines, Steyr AUGs, MP-5s, HK SL-8s, and all sorts of other fancy guns. She slowly stood up. She picked up her tail this time before walking behind the counter. The gun that caught here eye was a scoped CX4 Storm with a forward grip. She picked it off of the wall stud. She pulled the slide back to make sure that the gun was empty. She set it down on the one section of glass coutner that was still intact. She looked under the counter for something to carry alot of ammunition. With her luck, there happenned to be a nylon Gym bag under the counter. She unzipped it, nothing was in there. She went around the store for all the .45ACP clips or rounds that she could find. Luckily, Celes had plenty of knowledge in the area of guns. The bag was full after one minute of scavenging. She put down the bag to pick up a HK USC for Alyssa, seeing as it was the only other rifle left in the store that could fire .45ACP rounds. She struck into a bit of a dilema. Two guns in her hand, and no other hand to hold the bag of ammo. Her eyes wandered for a few seconds. She looked at her tail. She then turned her sights to the bag. Using her tail was her only option. She was still quite unaware of all the muscles and movements she could and can do. She started blankly at her tail, trying to find the proper muscles. After a few seconds, the tail moved slowly, but surely, to the bag. It hovered over the bag for a moment. Celes once again, looked for the right muscles for the tip of the tail. After another few seconds, the tail finally had a grip on the strap of the bag. She set the USC down and picked up her tail. The ******** did I get into? She thought before putting her tail over her shoulder. She crouched down and went back to the position that she was in not too long ago.
((INTERMISSION))
When she got outside, guns were still going off. She openned the bag and took out a magazine. She put it into the handle of her Cx4 and set it down. She did the same procedures HK USC. Celes slid the USC to Alyssa. A one meter slide was no problem. Celes peered through a crack in the cement slab. She couldn''t see anything, but rounds could still be heard firing off. She squinted. Her eye sight blackenned. She saw red outlines of 3 people standing right out in the middle of the road. Then she saw full red figures. Like she was wearing infrared goggles. She stuck the barrel of the gun though a V split in the concreate slab and fired off rounds. Surely, she hit them. And it only took two shots each. She looked again. Nobody else, exept for Alyssa, was there. She closed her eyes and sighed. When she openned them, no more infrared. Everything was clear as diamonds to her eyes now. What else is there to discover? She thought as she put her gun down. Celes jumped when Alyssa tapped her on the shoulder. "Come on, it's time to go." Said Alyssa. Celes looked at her for a few seconds, then nodded. They both kept going in the same direction as they were before.
Your opinion?
I'm sorry if I posted this in the wrong subforum. =|
The year 2010 was quite a shocker. Quite a shocker indeed. Scientists have finally developed a way to cross animal genes with human genes. It was quite a discovery. Though, the price, testing it on humans. Guess we could call it a 'punishment' for testing on animals all these years. The new globallized world has legallized using it for recreational use. You'd see people walking down the street with cat ears, alligator skin, dog-like legs, and abnormal eyes. But, the government has gone too far when they legallized the testing of ancient animal DNA on humans. Febuary 1st is when the debating proved positive with flying covers. All 5000 members of the new parliment approved of it. Testing began after one hour of the debate passing. Literaly. There would be billboards up and holograms on walls that basically said 'Let us test on you, and you will recieve a fresh pile on cash.' as we all know, money is already overpowering us. We would do anything for it. So hey, why not risk our lives to make a quick grand? The first one subject was a female. An average punk. Torn black pants, with chains, brown eyes, steel-toed combat boots, tank-top like shirt, both arms covered in tribal tattoos, a hair style that would say '******** you', an immitation shark tooth necklace, a oval-like face, standing at 5'10" and weighing at 130 lbs. Basically a social outcast. The DNA to be used, was from a dragons tooth, dug up about a year ago from a deep-excavation dig. "Now, you've already read in the disclaimer that we are not responsible for any kind of damage. Physichal or mental, short term or long term, correct?" Said a voice coming from a megaphone in a corner of the room. Celes looked at the pane of unbreakable glass and nodded. "Just get it over with." She blurted out. The male scientist nodded. She looked at the name tag of the doctor before looking up at the white ceiling. Dr. Carmack... I've gotta remember that... A robot holding a 25-mL syringe in it's cold claws put the needle about a half a millimetre away from her right forearm. There was a slight hint of doubt in Celes. After 10 seconds of tension, the robot slowly put pressure on the skin. After putting 7 lbs of pressure on it, about a quarter of the needle went into her arm. Celes' left hand clinged onto the given rail as if she were going down a really big rollar coaster. The opaque liquid in the cylinder slowly left the cylinder to go into her blood vessels. The arm pulled away quickly and a piece of cotton went onto the small puncture. Her vision began to go all blurry. Then her body went numb. She began to lose consiousnes. A explosion that had the force of 50 AGM-65 mavericks if they struck simultaniously. The chair immediately tipped over, and so did Celes. Gun shots from an AK-47. The dust created from the huge 10 meter wide hold settled. She saw an outline of a human being, and the outline of a gun, then, she passed out.
((INTERMISSION))
10 minutes later, she regained enough consiousness to see what was going on. Her sight was, a bit more refined. Able to take in more detail. She figured out that she was in a back of a heavily armoured van. "Quick, she's awake, get me a shot of adrenaline!" Yelled an obviously female voice beside her. An outline of a human holding a 15-mL syringe crouch walked over to the female beside her and held out the syringe to her. Just then, a powerful anti-tank mine flipped the van over. She watched the people in the van hover for a second. The syringe flew to the back of the van. Right when the roof of the van hit ground, she dropped out of the un-fastenned stretcher and onto the new floor of the van. After 10 seconds of the van flipping, one person slowly stood up and looked at Celes before she passed out again. Another 10 minuites later, a bump woke her up. Someone was dragging her. Front side facing down. It felt like she was being dragged by an extension of her spine. Well, she was. Celes openned her eyes. Slowly. When her eyes were fully open, she looked behind her to see who was dragging her. Another outline. But, now that they were in the light, she could get better detail. It was a person, in a gun-metal coloured suit with a full face mask. She noticed that there was a blue-ish, scaley like rope in the persons hand. She followed it, and it led right to her tailbone. Celes immediately turned onto her back. The sudden movement made the person stop and look behind. The person noticed that she'd finally woken up. It let go of her tail and faced towards her. Celes, still trying to figure out what the ******** happenned, slowly pushed away with her hands. Her new slits for eyes wandered all over the place.
((INTERMISSION AGAIN))
All the new detail that she never used to see with her previous eyes, she wasn't used to it. Everywhere she looked, rubble, tall buildings with holes in the sides, dust, rebar sticking out of almost everything. The person took off the face mask, it was a female. A nice angular shape face, black hair, blue eyes, cute nose, and razor thin lips. But, something was different from the normal humans. She had cat ears. Her origional ears were gone. There eyes met for five seconds, before her new saviour said something. "Are you okay?" Celes let out a rather low pitched laugh. "No, I've got a ******** tail! And... My eyes are... Fff....Iiee~!" She stopped supporting her body up, which made her drop flat on the ground. She stared at the sky, still un-able to soak everything in. After about 20 seconds, her saviour broke the silence. "Can you move it?" Celes made looked confused for a second. Move wha- She suddenly exhaled Oh... That... She lifted her head and looked at her tail. She stared at it. Thinking about it moving. Finally, after about 15 seconds, it leaned to the right slightly. A jolt of joy shot through her body and let out a bit of a smile. Her tail was as long as her. Just one inch less. Her saviour smiled a little aswell. Celes began thinking of curling it. She concentrated hard, trying to find the right muscles again. It only took 6 seconds before the tail began to curl. The small movement gave Celes a boost in confidence and concentrated even harder. After 15 seconds, her tail was in a full curl. Celes began to grin like an idiot now. This could prove to be easy... She began wagging it whist in the curl. Her saviour began to look around. We've gotta get out of here... She thought. Celes was interrupted by a hand blocking the view of her tail. "I'm Alyssa." Celes looked at the hand for a bit. "...I'm Celes." Their palms met. Alyssa helped Celes up. Even though Celes did all the work. Alyssa put her mask back on. "Come on, I know where we can get away, we are not safe here." Celes looked around. "Oh come on! There's no danger around he-" She looked quickly to the right. Something caught her attention. Alyssa was looking in the same direction. They both began to lean to the left slowly. A click. They both immediately sprinted. Gunshots from some kind of 5.56x48MM rifle echoed throughout the area.
((INTERMISSION))
Celes tripped over her own tail and landed face down on the ground. She looked behind her and rolled behind a large piece of concreate with rebar sticking out of it. She had to drag her tail behind it aswell. Celes looked around for Alyssa. She too, was behind a pile of rubble not too far behind. She was pointing behind Celes. It took a bit for her to register that she was telling her to look behind her. She turned around. A gun store was right behind her. She crawled into the store. It had quite a selection. CX4 Carbines, Steyr AUGs, MP-5s, HK SL-8s, and all sorts of other fancy guns. She slowly stood up. She picked up her tail this time before walking behind the counter. The gun that caught here eye was a scoped CX4 Storm with a forward grip. She picked it off of the wall stud. She pulled the slide back to make sure that the gun was empty. She set it down on the one section of glass coutner that was still intact. She looked under the counter for something to carry alot of ammunition. With her luck, there happenned to be a nylon Gym bag under the counter. She unzipped it, nothing was in there. She went around the store for all the .45ACP clips or rounds that she could find. Luckily, Celes had plenty of knowledge in the area of guns. The bag was full after one minute of scavenging. She put down the bag to pick up a HK USC for Alyssa, seeing as it was the only other rifle left in the store that could fire .45ACP rounds. She struck into a bit of a dilema. Two guns in her hand, and no other hand to hold the bag of ammo. Her eyes wandered for a few seconds. She looked at her tail. She then turned her sights to the bag. Using her tail was her only option. She was still quite unaware of all the muscles and movements she could and can do. She started blankly at her tail, trying to find the proper muscles. After a few seconds, the tail moved slowly, but surely, to the bag. It hovered over the bag for a moment. Celes once again, looked for the right muscles for the tip of the tail. After another few seconds, the tail finally had a grip on the strap of the bag. She set the USC down and picked up her tail. The ******** did I get into? She thought before putting her tail over her shoulder. She crouched down and went back to the position that she was in not too long ago.
((INTERMISSION))
When she got outside, guns were still going off. She openned the bag and took out a magazine. She put it into the handle of her Cx4 and set it down. She did the same procedures HK USC. Celes slid the USC to Alyssa. A one meter slide was no problem. Celes peered through a crack in the cement slab. She couldn''t see anything, but rounds could still be heard firing off. She squinted. Her eye sight blackenned. She saw red outlines of 3 people standing right out in the middle of the road. Then she saw full red figures. Like she was wearing infrared goggles. She stuck the barrel of the gun though a V split in the concreate slab and fired off rounds. Surely, she hit them. And it only took two shots each. She looked again. Nobody else, exept for Alyssa, was there. She closed her eyes and sighed. When she openned them, no more infrared. Everything was clear as diamonds to her eyes now. What else is there to discover? She thought as she put her gun down. Celes jumped when Alyssa tapped her on the shoulder. "Come on, it's time to go." Said Alyssa. Celes looked at her for a few seconds, then nodded. They both kept going in the same direction as they were before.
Your opinion?
