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 Posted: Tue Nov 13, 2007 12:18 pm
Post Your Characters Here.
Here you can work on them, get comments, and if your character is from a world someone else created, the creators of said world will say if anything needs to be changed or what not.
No flamming allowed, only constructive criticism.
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Posted: Mon Jan 28, 2008 5:51 pm
 *Profile finished* *New attacks pending approval*Gaia Name: DAKchild
Name: Atorai
Gender: Male
World: Ketarhr
Race: Ketonn Hraal
Personality: Sometimes Atorai can be spunky or quick to act when he 'knows' certain things-- at least that his attacks will cripple an enemy quickly. For the rest of the time he's calm, confident, analytic and especially defensive-- if threatened by an unfamiliar opposing force, or a very pissed-off woman.
Description: Green eyes. An odd, symbolic gold necklace. All that's dar kblue on him (excepting the sword) is flexible yet still quite protective... I shredded the suit just for fun and more skin to color.
 Appearance: image coming soon
Weapons: a sword forged by craftsmen; enchanted by elder psions, claws
Archetype: PsyLord
Fighting Style: ?
Electrokinesis? (control and manipulation of electricity).
Psychokinesis,
Herculean Saber, (Enables the sword to gain some crushing power. swings and jabs of the sword at a target seem to become swings and jabs of Hercules' fist instead... but not that powerful).
Lightning Dance, (His body apparently becomes a fierce, upward-spraying burst of electricity from a point on the ground. While in this form he has heightened speed and raw ramming power but maintaining this gradually becomes more and more taxing for the duration).
Psion's Razors, (Invisible extensions onto his claws. up to 6 inches long and enables him to cut through or stab and grip the usual things with less effort or most things that would be impossible via normal claws). Causes very little strain.
Apex Thunderwave, (a short chant followed by a hard stab of the sword into the ground. Instantly following is an earth-shattering lightning strike which directly onto his body's location is harmless but destroys more ground- or can target any desired point within a quarter-mile and has a higher voltage blast) ...has only managed to be able to do this once a day for two in three straight days as the recoil is quite high.
Scout's Honor, (Creation and release of a floating, glassy orb that explodes at will. The orb is normally baseball-sized and demonstrates the power to blow a large truck in half). Powering the explosive property has a mid/high cost.Shattergun, (Usually with the sword held out and pointed at a distant target, activation of the sword's power to fire a beam or bolt of condensed psychic energy or electricity, or the former enclosing the latter). The shot has no near-miss effect, a 3-foot-wide, ground-breaking blast radius on impact and the move can be used successively, 3 seconds apart with no recorded limit and some kinetic recoil.
Shatterbomb, (Ignition of a surge of psychic energy on the sword's blade to create an invisible sphere that grows quickly up to 4 feet before erupting and fading. Harmless to the user, most effective after stabbing an object or enemy with the sword, effect resembles implanting a grenade into something... or someone... before the grenade explodes). Cost is moderate, user made feel submerged in deep water during the sphere's growth, usage limit is generous but chances to actually use this move rarely arise.Spells/Psychic abilities:
EM-wave, (An open-palm wave or thrust that creates a self-sustained antigravity field in a given area of 1 cubic metre. This differs to psychokinetically holding a target in the air. The field only needs effort to start but can be forgotten and will last up to an hour.) Objects in the field can freely exit if they can use some form of propulsion except for wing-flapping.
Scout, (Creation and release of a floating, glassy orb that functions as a 3rd eye. The orb is normally either marble-sized or golf-ball-sized). Also presents no cost to maintain.
Shield of Sword, (Activation of the sword's own power to create a field of condensed psychic power around the blade; strongest at the blade itself inside the field.) The shield is near shatter-proof, however, the sword bearer's stamina has the last say in effectiveness.
Homeland: Caertasp
History: Atorai started out with little or no unique difference from other young Ketonn Hraal but he had always had a special thing for swords and cats. On his way through education he had managed to learn and use some Psychometabolism. That was the first thing to make him special as few Ketonn indeed used it. After that he often caught the eyes of Psions and those among high ranks especially in the military. Ultimately obligated to enlist, Atorai worked and trained hard with other Psions and Psylords within the army, growing to specialize in electricity as well as meleé fighting, and served for only 5 years before global awareness of the universal crisis arose.
That was when Atorai was appointed a high and unusual position; the one among several others-- the most trusted of the lot- to handle and remedy this crisis. Along with the enormous expectation made of him he was granted an enchanted sword; forged by creative blacksmiths in the army, charged with psychic power by elders within a Psion group affiliated with The Council.
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Posted: Tue Jan 29, 2008 2:33 pm
Add a paragraph onto personality. But other than that, it looks pretty good. However, how do you plan on working him into the plot on Ketarhr? Please PM me or Iethloc (or both) with the information, so that we can be on the same page. Can't wait to see the rest! smile
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Posted: Sat Feb 02, 2008 2:52 pm
There is a slight issue with the appearance of your character. While in the description of Ketonn Hraal it says that they have a Jaguar-like appearance, that was only for the coloration of the fur. Other than a few other minor details (the number of fingers, the shape of the teeth, etc.) they are very human like. As Iethloc put it " Ketonn Hraal are not catpeople, but are humanoids who went on a different evolutionary path. They never lost their fur and by chance, they have less fingers and sharper teeth."
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Posted: Sat Feb 02, 2008 7:08 pm
Sorry... for some reason I read the information several times but missed/misunderstood that part completely, every time. That would've saved me some trouble in proportioning if I got it the first time.
Thankies. mrgreen I will fixeh!!!
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Posted: Sun Feb 03, 2008 2:30 pm
He didn't say that IN the description. He said that last time I talked to him. xD
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