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 Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2007 2:41 pm
I posted this in the writers forum a month ago.... but I mainly got a bunch of s**t from them stare So I'm posting it here biggrin
If you have any advice, it would be greatly appreciated, just please don't be mean about it.
Thank you mrgreen
"My Best Friend..... is my Dog"
He's my best friend in the world,
He's been there for me when I need someone to hold,
He's always been there by my side,
And not once has he ever lied.
Today he's not feeling to well,
Not too good at all,
What to do now when he's in need?
I'll be there for him like he's been for me, that is my deed.
When he cries, I'll be there,
When he needs me I'll be there,
When he needs to go down the stairs I will help,
So he will have no need to let out a yelp.
The day has come,
The day I've been dreading,
It's time to say good bye,
And I can't help but cry.
So as I give him his last kiss,
His last hug,
His last touch,
And say "Casper I love you so much."
As you can probably tell, I wrote this poem for my dog, my best friend. He passed away over a year ago (September 7, 2006).
Thanks for taking the time to read it!!
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Posted: Tue Nov 27, 2007 9:34 pm
cry Aww! I'm sorry.
On your poem, it was very cute. If you want to assume the tone of a littler kid (elementary school - low middle school) then it's perfect. If you want to assume a more mature tone, then go more in depth when describing the relationship you and your dog share. Use analogies and look up words in the thesarus for longer, more flavorful words.
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Posted: Wed Nov 28, 2007 8:02 pm
Carana0 cry Aww! I'm sorry. On your poem, it was very cute. If you want to assume the tone of a littler kid (elementary school - low middle school) then it's perfect. If you want to assume a more mature tone, then go more in depth when describing the relationship you and your dog share. Use analogies and look up words in the thesarus for longer, more flavorful words.
I'm in high school xd lol But thanks for the advice, very much appreciated!!
This was actually the third poem I've ever written... and I actually never learned how to properly write a poem. But your advice helps a lot, thanks again =)
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Posted: Wed Dec 26, 2007 10:39 am
Wow. That's only your 3rd poem? It's great for that! My third poem was something about... I can't even remember. All my English teachers focused a little on poetry and writing, so I've always had to write a poem and turn it in, even if I'm not in the writing mood. But I guess it helped in the long run... somehow... Just be prepared for lots of writing in school.
And as for writing a "proper poem", you've already done it. It's called a lyric poem or something like that. It's just writing a line, and then writing another below it, just like you did. Of coarse, there's different kinds, but most of them you can just make like a lyric poem. Your poem might be called an ode, but you'd have to revise it to speak more in the past tense or something like that. I'd just say keep it as it is, because it puts the reader in the present, feeling not the morning fo the dog's death but the death of the dog itself within the poem. Does that make sense?
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lady_ruler_of_the_zombies Captain
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Posted: Sat Jan 26, 2008 5:07 pm
anime_freak_kouga Carana0 cry Aww! I'm sorry. On your poem, it was very cute. If you want to assume the tone of a littler kid (elementary school - low middle school) then it's perfect. If you want to assume a more mature tone, then go more in depth when describing the relationship you and your dog share. Use analogies and look up words in the thesarus for longer, more flavorful words.
I'm in high school xd lol But thanks for the advice, very much appreciated!!
This was actually the third poem I've ever written... and I actually never learned how to properly write a poem. But your advice helps a lot, thanks again =)I like it a lot. It's only your third? Wow, I'm impressed...as for properly writing a poem, i don't think there is a proper way unless you're going for a sonnet or something...
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Posted: Sun Jan 27, 2008 12:53 pm
lady_ruler_of_the_zombies anime_freak_kouga Carana0 cry Aww! I'm sorry. On your poem, it was very cute. If you want to assume the tone of a littler kid (elementary school - low middle school) then it's perfect. If you want to assume a more mature tone, then go more in depth when describing the relationship you and your dog share. Use analogies and look up words in the thesarus for longer, more flavorful words.
I'm in high school xd lol But thanks for the advice, very much appreciated!!
This was actually the third poem I've ever written... and I actually never learned how to properly write a poem. But your advice helps a lot, thanks again =)I like it a lot. It's only your third? Wow, I'm impressed...as for properly writing a poem, i don't think there is a proper way unless you're going for a sonnet or something...
Yup, only my third one. I'm new at writing poetry.
Thanks!!
Ya, I thought so. I've written one poem since this one, it's a lot more different than this one here, but I'm not sure if I want to share it yet =S
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