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 Posted: Sat Nov 24, 2007 7:46 pm
Okay. So I'm fourteen, and I think I'm ready to come out.
But here's the thing: My parents are super orthodox (strictly Jewish), and I go to an extremely orthodox school. I do know one kid in my class whose gay, and for him, its not really a huge deal, but I think that the teachers would give a girl a harder time. I don't know if I'm overreacting... My mom is super conservative, and I feel like I would have an awful time hashing through this with just my dad.
I don't want to loose my friends either-I know, I know, if they're really my friends, they would understand, that whole bit, but I guess I'm not really the kind of person who can just ditch people like that. Besides, I don't think I could handle that.
So does anyone have any advise as to how to begin this? I want to tread kind of carefully, but I'm not sure where to start.
I really appreciate any help that you can give me.
Thanks in advance!
-Jenny
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Posted: Sun Nov 25, 2007 2:56 pm
My heart stops beating only for you, baby...
Hmm. I recommend you wait a while, even if you feel like you're ready to come out. Even in a more liberal household, a lot of parents still think that up to a certain age, you don't really know what you want, are going through a phase, are just experimenting, etc. Though I don't doubt you know your sexuality, your friends and family probably will.
If your parents are that conservative, it also might be a good idea to wait until you're out of the house. Once you're an adult and out of the house, you won't be dependent on them if some worst-case scenarios happen. Plus, you can easily escape to give them time to cool down about it.
But as for treading lightly, try to subtly probe them about what they think about homosexuality and such. Maybe mention that your classmate's gay, see what kind of reaction that gets. Start very, very small. You don't want to dive headfirst into something like this without getting an idea of what you're getting yourself into.
And as for your friends, I suggest maybe a bit of the same thing with trying to get an idea of what they believe about homosexuality. Maybe you could even befriend the gay kid in your class. If your friends don't seem like they'd be okay with it, then maybe it'll just be one thing it'd be better if they didn't know. Later on in life, you'll be able to choose your friends more and will be able to find some who'll definitely accept who you are, completely.
Good luck! heart For your loving...
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Posted: Sun Nov 25, 2007 4:56 pm
I'd aggree with last post. Approaching the issue from a "purely hypothetical" standpoint can help people warm to it.... and don't be suprised if people don't take you seriously at first. Many adults forget what it's like to be adolescent while they raise their kids through toddlerhood.
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