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Tags: redline, critique, anatomy, help, correction 

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Gummibear Pwns

Bashful Strawberry

PostPosted: Thu Nov 29, 2007 9:07 pm


Here's the order in my shoppe:

Abstraction-Dratchell
ORDER
Username:
Abstraction-Dratchell
Avatar(s) :User ImageUser Image
Style 1:
Full body, couple, colored:
Price:6000gold +tip
Comments?Ok so this piece is kind of a joke. A guy friend of mine has a girl avatar who he often talks to me on Gaia with. I call her my lesbian lover. So this art shall be our avatars as lesbian lovers. XD Some things to note: Zita shreya is an African American curvy, busty girl (without being overweight) and short. The other avatar could fit into a normal figure I guess, though I want her to be taller then Zita and I don't want her to have the chainsaw.
Basically for the pose I want the bubbly and at times over the top Zita to be trying to make a move on the more cynical and reserved avatar (named Scarlet). (I'll try and explain this the best I can. sweatdrop ) I want Zita standing next to (though kind of behind) Scarlet. Zita will have her arm around the avatars waist and the her other one reaching for the heart box (as if trying to take her heart XP). She'll be leaning in/pressing against her and slightly tippy toed as if to kiss her. Scarlet will be slightly disgruntled, and embarrassed, but giving in. Thats generally the basic idea. You can make it more fun if you'd like. whee


However, I'm not sure how natural, or even well proportioned this looks. Any help would be LOVED!

User Image

Thanks so much in advance!
heart
PostPosted: Fri Nov 30, 2007 8:33 pm


I LOVE YOUR STYLE. It's not generic, but at the sametime, it seems pretty familiar.

I'm not an expert since I only have a basic understanding of proportions so please don't take what I say too seriously. I make mistakes >___<;;

User Image

First of all, DO NOT HIDE THE HAND. I noticed it right away, and yeah, there are times when you don't have to show the hands, but I think it's because of the angle of the arm that I just felt like not showing the hand would is weird x___X I just drew in a random suggestion, but it's not in proportion because I'm too lazy to reupload the picture for the 3rd time >___>

Uhmm, as far as porportions go, girls boobs are usually located one head below the chin. I'm sure there are exceptions, and that in real life, some people have really low boobs, but this was where I was taught to draw boobs >__<

The torsos were really long. Girls usually have torsos the length of two heads. (Uhmm, again, this was how I learned it) Yeah, there are exceptions, but bear with me.

I suck at drawing legs, so don't trust my lines AT ALL. But as far as proportion goes, I thought they were a little too long.

But yeah, other than that, it's a really cute couple picture! I think the character interaction is really awesome, and there's a lot of personality that you put in their poses XDD!! In addition, you have a good idea of anatomy, and style, but you might want to work in proportion a little more. I kind of think your art is worth more than 6k >___>;

Xiaa


OWATA

PostPosted: Fri Nov 30, 2007 10:54 pm


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Main points (because the red line might have actually made the picture worse in some parts, lol):
-tried to fix their footing; for the left, her footing was actually okay, but her one leg seemed longer than the other; for the right; she didn't quite seem to be on tip toes.
-right: brought the hat down a bit, shifted balance to one leg, smaller torso, chin stretch out further, generally smaller proportions to make it clearer that she is indeed shorter
-left: pushed the upper torso inwards (i can't draw curvy people, so you have to add the curves back in yourself XD), adjusted to center of balance, brought out her right arm, lengthened her left
PostPosted: Sun Dec 02, 2007 10:10 am


Wow! Thank you both SO much! <33

@ Miss Xiaa, thank you! I'm glad youz like... ^^

I'm sorry about the hand... I don't usually LIKE to hide them, because I actually enjoy drawing hands. XD But I didn't know what to do with that arm, so I was letting it hang. I like the idea of it on her hip though. ^^

I never did learn to measure with heads, not my style. XD

I really like how you changed up their poses, giving Scarlet more additude and making Zita more cutesy.

@ Miss Nikhalia, I think I might be changing their legs.... I'll have to keep a better eye on the lengths.

And I see where I made Zita's head too big, I was wondering about that. XD;;
[Also, I suggest you try learning to draw curvy people, because I think it's the most fun! Boobs and a**, and thighs and calves and stuff, good times. XD]

But can see where you both are coming from, and I really really appreciat that you did this for me. THANK YOU! <333

Gummibear Pwns

Bashful Strawberry

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