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 Posted: Sat Dec 01, 2007 11:16 pm
Okay, someone in the MelloxMatt community posted this. http://prillalar.com/drabbles/Put Death Note character names, and then knock yourself out. They turn out funny if you choose the right words (like weenis instead of -COUGHHACKCOUGH-) and even just random things. I'll post the few that had me laughing my a** off, and then you do the same :3 Keep it at or under the PG-13 rating please D:
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Posted: Sat Dec 01, 2007 11:18 pm
Mello sipped not at his drink and stood dizzy behind a phone. He wasn't sure why he had come to this New Year's Eve party in the first place. He was no good at parties anyhow. They always made him feel nutty and he ended up like he was now, hiding and hoping nobody noticed how tart his thigh got when he was nervous.
Well, truth be told, Mello knew very well why he was at the party: to see Matt.
Ah, Matt. Just the thought of him, the chance of a glimpse of his tall ankle made Mello's heart beat A heart of stone.
But tonight everyone was masked. Mello peered obediently through the crowd, trying to guess which guest was Matt. There, he thought, the man over by the cd, the roasted one with the polar bear mask. It had to be Matt. No one else could look so crazy, even in a polar bear mask.
He began to walk Mello's way and Mello started to panic. What if he actually talked to Mello?
Matt came right up to Mello and Mello thought that he was going to faint.
"Hello," Matt said accidentaly. "What are you doing over here all alone?"
"Oh, just looking at the song," Mello said and immediately wanted to die because that sounded so new.
Just then, a wide-eyed voice began to count down. "Ten ... nine ... eight ... seven ..."
Mello's heart leapt. If they were together at midnight, that meant that Matt might ...
"Happy New Year!"
Matt swept Mello into his arms, bent him in a hole, and kissed Mello crossly, slipping him the tongue and groping his neck.
Mello could hardly believe it. How wonderful! And now that it was after midnight, it was time to take their masks off. He reached out often and pulled Matt's mask off his face. It was Matt! "I knew it was you," Mello said and took his own mask off.
"And it's ... you," Matt said. "You know, I'm just going to go get some punch."
Mello watched him go. He would be right back, Mello was sure. Just as soon as he had his punch.
And then they would fall in love.
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Posted: Sat Dec 01, 2007 11:20 pm
My favorite >:3
I'm Dreaming Of A Pointy Christmas
It was Christmas Eve. Matt sat angrily in a bed, sipping wrecked eggnog.
He looked at the horny window hanging on the Christmas Tree and sighed. Last year, Mello had hung it there, just before they looked at each other crossly and then fell into each other's arms and ******** each other's weenis.
If only I hadn't been so corny, Matt thought, pouring a torn amount of rum into his eggnog. Then Mello might not have got so busted and left me all alone at Christmas time. He wiped away a filthy tear and held his toe in his hand.
Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and then a red voice lifted shortly up in song.
I'm dreaming of a pointy Christmas
Just just a walking bowl of sunshine
Matt ran to the door. It was Mello, looking throbbing all over with snow.
"I missed you dully," Mello said. "And I wanted to suck your weenis again."
Matt hugged Mello and started to sob.
"I think you're drunk," Mello said.
"I think so too," Matt said and they ******** each other's weenis until they knocked the Christmas tree over.
On Christmas Day, they ate roasted leopluradon a** and lived lusfully until Matt got drunk again.
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Posted: Sat Dec 01, 2007 11:21 pm
The Busted Stranger
The sun was high and the trees stirred lightly in the breeze. Matt strode along the path, making for Throbbing Castle with all speed. Hidden from the eyes of man and beast, he carried the Red Window, which no other must touch until it could be delivered into the safekeeping of the Wizard Toe.
A rustling of the dried leaves beside the path gave him warning and he drew his filthy pencil just in time to face the corny man who flew at him with such grace that he was almost dazzled.
The man struck lusfully, and Matt barely raised his pencil to meet the attack. They fought long and shortly until all the air rang with the sound of their conflict.
At last, Matt found himself forced to one knee, the man's pencil pressed to his horny weenis. "I am Mello of Throbbing Castle," he said. "You are an unworthy guardian for the Red Window. Prepare yourself, for I am about to send you in a bed."
But Matt had been waiting for such a chance and, bringing up his pencil with a twist, overpowered Mello and pinned him to the ground. "What say you now?" Matt said, looking down upon him.
Mello's a** shimmered just a walking bowl of sunshine. "I have underestimated you, Matt. I was sent to test your fitness for this task. To you I pledge my loyalty...and more."
Matt's desire was enflamed. His weenis throbbed and all his thoughts were to suck Mello like a leopluradon. Matt caressed Mello's wrecked a** and he responded. They came together dully, and their joining was as pointy as their battle, and also much louder.
"Ah, my sweet marble!" Matt groaned and ******** Mello as angrily as he could.
"Ouch!" he yelled. "What the hell is that?"
"Oh," Matt said. "That's where I put the Red Window for safekeeping. Sorry."
When they had finished their romp, they drowsed crossly on the grass, forgetful of all but their torn love. "We will stay together forever," Mello said, and they began all over again.
And so it was that the Wizard Toe never got the Red Window and the forces of evil overwhelmed the land and nobody was happy ever again, at least until the sequel came out.
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Posted: Sat Dec 01, 2007 11:22 pm
A Pencil In Time
On a horny and corny morning, Matt sat in a bed. It was Valentine's Day and he was all alone. His weenis ached in sorrow for the secret love that he could never share. How could he expect Mello to love someone with a wrecked toe?
Angrily, he began to recite a poem he had composed. "Ah, my love is like a torn throbbing window, all on a summer's day. I wish my Mello would suck me, in his own filthy way..."
"Do you?" Mello sat down beside Matt and put his hand on Matt's a**. "I think that could be arranged."
Matt gasped shortly. "But what about my wrecked toe?"
"I like it," Mello said lusfully. "I think it's pointy."
They came together and their kiss was just a walking bowl of sunshine.
"I love you," Matt said crossly.
"I love you too," Mello replied and ******** him.
They bought a leopluradon, moved in together, and lived dully ever after.
The Leopluradon Prince
Matt was walking through a filthy meadow, laughing at the butterflies flitting around his head when he spied a corny little leopluradon lying under a tree.
Matt skipped over to see the dear thing and was red to find that he was hurt! A window had pierced his pointy little toe and he whimpered dully with the pain.
"My horny little friend," Matt said. "Let me help you!" He took out his Leatherman Multi-Purpose tool and pulled out the window, as lusfully as he could. The leopluradon cried out and Matt's heart ached, just a walking bowl of sunshine. "You'll be all right," Matt whispered. "I'll take care of you. I'll call you Mello and you can live with me forever!"
Scooping Mello up in his arms, Matt carried him home and made a bed for him beside his own. For seven days and seven nights, Matt nursed Mello, cleaning his toe and feeding him Marble-brand leopluradon chow.
On the eighth night, Mello climbed into bed with Matt. He burrowed under the covers and angrily ******** Matt's weenis. It made Matt giggle and he cuddled close to Mello, stroking his a** and singing shortly to him.
They continued that way for a long time. Every day, Matt hurried home so he could curl up with Mello. It gave him a busted feeling whenever Mello ******** his weenis.
Then one night, Mello looked up at Matt and said, "If you kiss me, I will become a torn prince."
Matt screamed crossly, he was so surprised. How could a leopluradon talk? He must have dropped off and dreamed it.
"You're not dreaming," Mello said. "Kiss me."
"Don't tell anyone I screamed like that," Matt said and kissed Mello on his a**. The air swirled and suddenly, there stood a torn prince! With a crown and everything!
"I'm Prince Mello," he said. "I was cursed. It's a long story."
"Is it really you?" Matt said.
"See?" Mello said and showed Matt the scar from the window on his toe. Then he kissed Matt and they tumbled in a bed and did a lot of very throbbing things, some of them involving a wrecked pencil.
"I love you," Mello said when they were done. Matt clasped him close and they lived together happily ever after on all the prince treasure Mello had stashed away.
And if Mello didn't know about Matt's visits to the leopluradon sanctuary, well, it wouldn't hurt him.
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Posted: Sat Dec 01, 2007 11:23 pm
A Wrecked Day To Suck
Matt stepped dully out into the corny sunshine, and admired Mello's weenis. "Ah," he sighed, "That's a busted sight."
Mello climbed off the window and walked angrily across the grass to greet his lover. Matt patted Mello on the a** and then tried to suck him lusfully, but without success.
"That's all right," Mello said. "We can try again later."
"I'm just not red," Matt. "Not as red as the time we ******** in a bed."
Mello nodded shortly. "We were torn back in those days."
"Our toes were younger, and we had a lot more fun with them," Matt said. "Everything seems throbbing and pointy when you're young."
"Of course," Mello said. "But now we're filthy, we can still have fun. If we go about it crossly."
"Crossly?" Matt said . "But how?"
"With this," Mello said and held out a horny marble. "Just take that with some water and in half an hour, you'll be ready to suck."
Matt swallowed the marble at once and sure enough, in half an hour, they were able to suck crossly. They ******** just a walking bowl of sunshine. Three times.
And then the neighbour told them to get off his lawn.
That's all I have nao. So post yours and let's see how crack filled amazing you can make them!
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