Welcome to Gaia! ::

♥GLITS♥ - Gaia's Lesbian, Intersex and Trans Society. Sh

Back to Guilds

 

 

Reply ♥Life Issues: Need some support or advice or wish to talk then post here.
I need advice, badly. [And got it! Fixed!]

Quick Reply

Enter both words below, separated by a space:

Can't read the text? Click here

Submit

Talice-Derae

8,250 Points
  • Invisibility 100
  • Overstocked 200
  • Tycoon 200
PostPosted: Mon Dec 03, 2007 5:20 pm


Okay, I'm a 19 year old female college student dating a man who seems to be a perfect match for me. Let's call him "Matt".
Now you see, Matt really cares for me. He really does. We've been dating since May. OF THIS YEAR.

And we've never actually kissed, as in, no open mouth kisses.
And it's because of me.

He voiced today that he would very much enjoy a real kiss from me, and asked why I've never actually kissed back.

--------
Last night, I spent several hours thinking about the same question. I considered myself Bisexual; I had never dated someone of either sex, and assumed that I still liked guys, despite the usual attraction to girls.

But as I thought about it, I only ever feel sexually attracted to Matt when its right before I'm due for my period. Like, when my body is saying, Go get preggers.

I can't seem to wrap my mind around actually kissing him, full on.

I love him, I really do. I've never felt this way about anyone...but I just can't seem to bring myself to do it. I want to; I want to make him happy, but I...I just can't do it!

What the hell should I do? I don't want to break up with him; hell, he's my first boyfriend. [I know, I didn't get my first boyfriend until I was 18, blah, I know.]

What would you do? I need advice here.

[PS. I'm aware this is GLITS, and this is a straight question, but it's the dykey side of me that's causing issue. I thought I was Bi, but possibly I'm Lesbian. That's the issue, in short. I've never open mouth kissed ANYONE, let alone a man, so...]
PostPosted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 8:12 am


Note: we are open to everyone here, we just happen to be more of an expert on lesbian issues then anything else.

Have you thought over why you don't want to kiss in that way? I might not have anything to do with your sexuality, but might be something deeper. I think you need to do a lot of soul searching to find out what you want and don't force yourself to do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. The only way to know if it is the lesbian side speaking is to think about how you feel about kissing a girl. Are you more willing to kiss a girl or is it that same as with your boyfriend? If you have more of an urge to kiss a girl then you know there is an issue that must be confronted, however if you feel the same discomfort with kissing a girl as a boy then you know it is something else that is bothering you.

So for now you might want to explain to your boyfriend that you are uncomfortable about going any further at the moment. If he has a problem with that then it is his problem. You should only do what makes you feel right and don't let anyone force you into anything, male or female.

jaa ne

Kat

Kims_Prince
Captain


Talice-Derae

8,250 Points
  • Invisibility 100
  • Overstocked 200
  • Tycoon 200
PostPosted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 1:56 pm


Kims_Prince
Note: we are open to everyone here, we just happen to be more of an expert on lesbian issues then anything else.

Have you thought over why you don't want to kiss in that way? I might not have anything to do with your sexuality, but might be something deeper. I think you need to do a lot of soul searching to find out what you want and don't force yourself to do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. The only way to know if it is the lesbian side speaking is to think about how you feel about kissing a girl. Are you more willing to kiss a girl or is it that same as with your boyfriend? If you have more of an urge to kiss a girl then you know there is an issue that must be confronted, however if you feel the same discomfort with kissing a girl as a boy then you know it is something else that is bothering you.

So for now you might want to explain to your boyfriend that you are uncomfortable about going any further at the moment. If he has a problem with that then it is his problem. You should only do what makes you feel right and don't let anyone force you into anything, male or female.

jaa ne

Kat

Well, I thought about it a lot last night...I've actually been thinking about ending the relationship for a while now, because I'm not at all attracted to him. And the more I thought about it, I realized that the only men I've ever really felt attracted to were insanly girly, or even Gay.

Every day, I walk down the hallways of my college, and I don't look at the men passing by, nothing more than a glance.
When I walk down that hallway, I'm checking out the women. Without fail. The thought of even kissing a guy seems icky to me. Kissing Matt was awkward unless it was on the cheek in the way I'd kiss my brother or something.

The thought of dating another women...It excites me. It seems right. I fantasize about women all the time. And as I said, the only guys I've ever fantasized about were either Gay or so girly they actually got mistaken for women by people.


[I actually broke up with him today. We are going to stay good friends though; he IS my best friend, after all.]

So I think I've come to a conclusion, at least for now.

I've dated a guy, and didn't like it. I'll try the other side. ^_^

It seems right.
PostPosted: Thu Dec 06, 2007 12:24 pm


I've just never been big on kissing. I didn't kiss my previous GFs much at all, and only did so after already having sex. I am mildly afraid of germs, so that is a bit of it.

My current GF totally snuck her tongue into my mouth one day at the end of a date and for some reason I like it alot more when she does it. Now we kiss often.

I wouldn't be worried about the kissing itself, I would just be worried that it is a sign of a deeper issue.

Tsaoma

Reply
♥Life Issues: Need some support or advice or wish to talk then post here.

 
Manage Your Items
Other Stuff
Get GCash
Offers
Get Items
More Items
Where Everyone Hangs Out
Other Community Areas
Virtual Spaces
Fun Stuff
Gaia's Games
Mini-Games
Play with GCash
Play with Platinum