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 Posted: Mon Aug 15, 2005 8:26 pm
Life.
What is it to live,
Is this life anything in the dust of time?
Can this life make a different in the world around me?
Or am I doomed to fade away like a star in the sky as the sun rise?
Can my vain life of a fight for happiness make a different in the world we live?
Will I add more life to the world?
Could I make it a better place for anyone?
Does this pen in my hand shape a single person's mind?
Can this hands of mine help a single person?
Can they make a different in the world you live?
Or does this vain fight for happiness Hurt?
Does it hurt and rip at the wrold around me?
Do these hands rip and destroy the wrold around me?
Does these words I write smash minds like glass?
Or do I make a different?
HAve I added sand to the hour glass of the wrold's time?
Or have I taken it?
Have I shroten the very life of this wrold we live?
Does everything I do make a small bit of different?
Or am I just one more gain of sand in that hour glass of the wrold's life?
Do these words I write make a single different to anyone but myself?
Am I alone in the dark?
I hope my vain words of my fight of life,
Have opened you eyes,
to the world we live and why you should give a damn.
End.
Thank you for reading.
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Posted: Tue Aug 16, 2005 7:01 am
Ah, that was so perious and 'insignificant-making'. Can you make a difference? Well only you can answer that, but this could be a better poem if your ideas weren't, in my ideas, kinda random, well, not random but sonthings could be a little more tight. 4laugh
Get that spelling sorted out geezer! eek
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Posted: Tue Aug 16, 2005 11:42 am
Queeny Ah, that was so perious and 'insignificant-making'. Can you make a difference? Well only you can answer that, but this could be a better poem if your ideas weren't, in my ideas, kinda random, well, not random but sonthings could be a little more tight. 4laugh Get that spelling sorted out geezer! eek "Meh thank's for reading it atleast"
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Posted: Tue Aug 16, 2005 11:45 am
Those were a lot of questions! But where are the answers? sweatdrop It felt melodramatic. Sorry. confused
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Posted: Tue Aug 16, 2005 2:30 pm
It brought up alot of very interesting questions, and had good punctuation, but it left the reader wanting more by not answering or even attempting to answer any of the questions. Interesting style, but it overall disappointed the reader by failing to meet expectations. The style was good though 3nodding
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Posted: Tue Aug 16, 2005 4:33 pm
life is a just that unknown
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