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 Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 10:26 am
Okay.
I'm considering starting this Rp that I made up a while back once again, but I'm not sure if anyone will find it interesting at all. What I would like to ask is: Will you please read the plot to this and post if you think it's interesting or not?
It will be greatly appreciated if you do!
P.S. If you've ever heard of The Last Unicorn this is based off of that story with a few differences. Many years ago, mythical creatures ran rampant through the lands. Some even spoke with human counterparts. A young witch, learning the art of magic from these creatures, cast a spell one eve, one that would hopefully change her shape. As she opened her eyes she looked around to find that the dragon, unicorn, pegasus, phoenix, fairy, and griffon, who had been keeping a close watch on her, had all taken a different form. They were now all humans rather than the creatures that they should have been and once were. Deciding to fix this tragedy, they have all agreed to go to the far off city of Taxen to see the great wizard who lives there and ask if he can break the spell. Unfortunately, an evil king has heard of this catastrophe and has decided to send his soldiers after the creatures and the witch to destroy all of them and rid the land of these beings for once and for all. Thankfully for the creatures and the witch, there are also those who have banded with them to keep them from harm and help them on their journey to see the wizard. Will the creatures return to their true forms, or will they find a reason to live the remainder of their lives as human beings?
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Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 11:22 am
Well, it's not completely awful.
A few tips:
►I noticed right off the bat some things that weren't completely explained.
1. What exactly happened with the spell?
2. Why does the king want to get rid of them (and their magic)?
►So, they have to travel to a city that's pretty far away. Big deal. Are there any obstructions? Like, vast deserts, mountain ranges, battlefields, haunted wastelands, swamps? You know, interesting geography that makes the trip a little more than "they walked for a day or two, then decided to camp out. No one was bothering them for the moment."
►If all they have to do is go see some old magic guy to fix the mistake, why is it such a catastrophe?
►Do the former magic creatures still have their abilities, or are they normal humans in their current state?
►Don't end the story in a question. Seriously. If one of them decides, "Yo, I'm getting pretty fond of using my thumbs," then let that happen in the game. Those questions aren't really part of a "story line."
►As far as the king and his soldiers go, how are they going to work into the story? Do they spend the whole time chasing after the victims, and not really get to do anything else? Man, that would be a boring character to play. Unless, of course, you're just going to have them all be open characters (to be played by everyone who needs to). If you've ever played a badly-authored pirate RP, you'd find that the whole thing is, "They left port. Another ship tried to attack them. They beat the pulp out of the enemy pirates. They looted the broken ship. They sailed on, and made port somewhere else." This looks like it could very easily turn into that.
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Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 11:50 am
In regards to Meareign's second and sixth arrowed topics, here's my suggestion.
The king that's trying to be rid of them could be attempting to use some kind of eldritch device to harvest the magical/natural powers of the creatures to aid in a war that is being fought. Then, not only to you throw battlefields and such into the fray for geography, but you also make the addition of several points of possible development. One of such being the possible capture and subsequent torture/magical harvesting of the creatures and the witch.
Also, for the geography, you almost need to include the ubiquitous: rotting swamp filled with zombies or their equivalent, subterranean caves/tunnels, and sprawling forests filled with maniacal...um...tiny people.
In regards to Mear's fourth point, I'd suggest that at first, due to the strange effect of the magic, nobody has their abilities and they gradually regain control over them. Conversely, it'd be kind of cool for them to be come more and more human over time. That way they would start with (most) of their powers and gradually become weaker as the path becomes more dangerous.
There's my two bits on the matter...
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Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 3:04 pm
*Est immensely grateful for the help*
Thanks very much for the comments and such.
I'm going to have to give a bit more thought to most of this and post the information later since I seriously have no ideas and my mind is basically a black hole since I'm still trying to finish a report and a play, but I will try to have an edit version up soon.
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Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 3:55 pm
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