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Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 6:55 pm
Alright, no one likes criticism. Criticism implies negativity which is something none of us like to face when it's directed at us. And yet? Some people ask for it.
Why? Because they know that they're not perfect and because they are willing and determined to improve. If this means requesting that people point out your flaws, or dissect your characters, your posts, your ideas for grammar, logic, or whatever else-- sometimes that's what it takes. You're not perfect. They're not perfect either. But the more input you receive, the more people you get suggestions from, the closer you're going to come to perfection. I'll leave the math terms and formulas out of this. I'll keep it simple for you.
If I criticise... no that's such and ugly word... If I make corrections, suggestions, offer input concerning a post, a character, a detail, an idea, or even an opinion, this is not the same as me telling you that you're wrong. This is not me telling you that you're stupid or worthless. This is simply me giving you a little advice. Ought I to give it? Am I qualified to offer advice on the use of the English language, creativity, writing for effect? Who knows. But if I offer it, accept it with a grain of salt. You don't have to like it. You don't have to agree. You can even b***h at me for it if you like, but don't be a p***y and tuck your tail between your legs, don't run out on an RP, or get offended because I gave my point of view. I am as entitled to my point of view, correct or not, as you are to yours... incorrect or not.
And if you don't like what I have to say, or you can't believe that I'm saying what I am with the best of intentions, then by all means tell me I'm wrong, explain your reasoning, but don't tell me that you don't care. Don't admit that 'it's wrong but refuse to change 'it' out of pride. That's the worst thing you can do as a writer. Not to care about your language, your art, your characters, etc is a ******** sin. If it's wrong, whether I point it out or someone else does, whether it offends your sensibilities to be told, correct it. Swallow your pride and have some respect for yourself and your work. If you leave mistakes, if you continue 'not caring' you may save yourself some effort, you may avoid a little needless seriousness in favour of 'just having fun', but the bad impression you made, which drew a reaction from me, is only the beginning. I'm not the only one who sees it. And trust me, your results will be better if you try. If you make an effort.
So while you may be willing to settle, no one should accept less than they're capable of. Everyone should be willing to improve in everything they do. Everyone should want to. Otherwise what's the point of writing at all? What's the point of going to school? What's the point of living?
This is why some of us suck it up and ask for advice, feedback, critiques... and this is why some people accept criticism graciously. And to me, those are the writers who deserve respect, be they advanced or illiterate noobs. He who is willing to work and improve himself is the person I admire. &/soapbox&
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Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 8:27 pm
Now see, I think the world needs more people like you. People who are open-minded to their own mistakes and also to others. Who will give constructive criticism, and receive it positively in turn. I myself, while not exactly the most mature of people, make it a point to accept the criticism given to me by people, as long as it's constructive. But when someone is just outright attempting to assault me, it is quite offensive, and so i attempt to figure just why they are insulting me. If that fails, then ignore them; what they say isn't going to help you, why bother? At least, that's the way I look at things.
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Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 8:39 pm
Agreed.
Plenty of people are willing to dish it out, but fail to receive it with any grace.
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Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 9:55 pm
The sad thing is, there aren't enough people who can teach others to do this, so the world goes on in a negative state of giving destructive criticism, flaming, insults, etc. And no one learns from that. Well, they do, but nothing good. Just how to insult others. And so the cycle goes on. It's sad, but it's happening.
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Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 10:13 pm
Mmm. I learned from the best. Thanks, mom.
But the fact is, I'm as bad as anyone when it comes to flaming people. It's a guilty pleasure to pick a person apart and make them feel bad when I'm feeling foul myself. When I'm in a bad mood I sometimes can't deny it. I hate it, but it's the truth.
Generally when I realize that I'm in such a destructive mood I sign off, lock myself in my room, and don't talk to anyone until it blows over. I've screwed up enough friendships being a p***k.
I've been trying to turn over a new leave, to be less of an a**, hopefully with some success, but I still have the urge to tell people just what I think of them, now and again.
Problem is, I'm good at it, so when I feel victorious, I continue until I get bored or they ignore me. I don't feel guilty until the next day when I realize how stupid it was.
People always say people like me do it because it makes us feel better about ourselves. I probably am insecure about some things, sure. There's probably something to that theory, but everyone likes to feel superior now and then. Some of us just care about our egos more than others.
I tend to warn friends so that if I don't realize I'm doing it, they can tell me or take it with a grain of salt. So they know that I don't mean anything by it. But meh. It shouldn't be a problem in the first place.
Neither should my temper, but what can you do?
:/
Polar liek wo, between giving constructive criticism one minute and ripping someone to shreds the next.
There. Honesty. Got that off my chest. xD
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Posted: Mon Dec 10, 2007 9:38 am
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Posted: Mon Dec 10, 2007 10:19 am
And I as well. I admit, I'm guilty of doing such things as well, but I try to keep from doing so.
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