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Post your funny phrases here! (me first!)

There are three types of people in this world, those who can count and those who can't.

"There are some people in this world that are like slinky's, they don't seem good for much, but its still fun when you push them down the stairs."

blaugh ^.^ My dad told me this one a while back.

Joke time!

So this scientist walks up to God and is all like "We don't need you anymore."
And God answers. "Really? Why not?"
"Well," the scientist replies, "due to scientific advances and such, we can create life from dirt, so we don't need you anymore!"
God nods and says "Alright, show me." So the scientist bends down and reaches to grab a handful of dirt from the ground. God stops him and laughs. "Oh no," he says, "Get your own dirt."

Sorry, lame joke but one of my favorites!

Lawlz @ Moo-
Lol, I so have that T-shirt!!


Here's one of my favourites:
A possative attitude may not solve all your problems, but it'll annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
<3 Calvin and Hobbes

OK, funny story -though maybe not too funny, but strange enough to possible get a giggle out of someone-
I got Guitar Hero for PS2 for Christmas, and at first I was playingit on easy with my family, but I get it all to myself one day, and decide to start playing it on medium.
I'm fairly good at the game, even on medium so I figured it'd be OK. I start a band on medium and just play through every song there, including the encores. I finish the last song and encore, and my left arm is feeling all tingly and slightly stiff.
I go to bed, and the next morning, my arm is just killing me with a sharp pulling pain in my nerves. I go to the doctor the next day, and turns out I gave myself Tennis Elbow. So, I got a supporting wrap for my arm, and I can't play my Guitar Hero until my arm heals.
It's been like a week or two since the doctors appointment. I tried to play alittle, but the stiff pulling pain will slowly resurface each time I try.

Lol, that teached me. Everything in moderation.

Wow, Dementia. Tennis elbow from Guitar Hero? That's pretty intense.

As for my funny sayings, there's one that my brilliant best friend said once:
"I need to take off my legwarmers 'cos they're-- uh, warming my legs..."
Or my other friend, when we were talking about cosine graphs, I said I liked their construction and she replied:
"What? The construction? Who cares about that. It's all about those lovely curves. That sounds rather... strange, but it's so true..."

my friend showed me this card she got the other day, it said; to keep an idoit entertained turn this card over. and on the back it said; to keep an idoit entertained turn this card over. whats funnier is one dude did it for like 5 minutes before catching on, and hes the smart one.