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This is going to be stickified!

As for the topic itself, I am not in touch with my higher self. I think I can be though, I just have to try.

I can have a very sharp tongue at times. I can be snide, I make horrible jokes. I talk oddly. I change the order of words around alot. I expect people to understand what I say and bombard people with information.

I constantly have a head ache probably because I am regulating emotions and was scared as a child. I have chaotic emotions all of which I understand and let them take fair play. I completely switch ways of being, I'm disconcerting. I'm a complete slob. I'm incapable of doing rudimentary things. I hate order and regulation because I am too ordered I go too far. I'm an extremest that is constantly trying to keep myself in check.

I can be a cruel heartless b***h when I want to be and its always there for me to use. I am relentless to a fault at times. There is always more.

Oh and I have a habit of hiding refusing to deal with things and noticing every fault that ever could possibly be.

hmph, where to begin.

acknowledging is the first step to getting rid of, so congratulations Mendele for making people think about their flaws, if that was your intention; very clever.

i cannot have a regular conversation while i'm thinking, it always comes out as either awkward or far too nuetral.
while considering every possible angle, sometimes i accidentally breathe into what they say a bit too much
i need to be a little more devoted to my craft.

It is important to confront one's own shadow self, one's "dark" side, but I also believe it is important to realize that no matter what you do someone will not like you and find you annoying. This shouldn't be about others but about yourself. The shadow is composed of those things you do not like about yourself, not of what others don't like about you. Also, it is not something to be gotten rid of, but something to be embraced. It is a part of you, and all getting rid of it will achieve is diminishing yourself.
I have found that, personally, it is all too often about the things I need to understand better. Anger can come from many places, but people that make you angry are often just people you don't need to, and possibly shouldn't, be around. Anger, rage, hatred, sorrow, discomfort, uncertainty, fear, and the like can all serve as stupendous guides and teachers if we only take the time to listen to them. Emotions are not just foolishness, they are so much more...

I dont really have a problem admitting I am no angel. . I have said it a bazillion times before, but I sometimes dont show it enough before it just comes out suddenly and scares people that werent prepared. .

I have enough of a connection with myself to get her to make energy structures for me. . I know different parts of past lives, and I can feel their reactions and personalities. . I am not merged with her, as we are still very different. . I have many selves, some are more twisted and jaded, and some are more aggressive and demanding. . Many of them find me to be far too nice and accepting of people, and want me to toss the rampage faster than I usually do. When someone slights me, I am pretty sure that they take their own revenge if I am sufficiently angered. I just find that whenever the anger reaches a certain point a few days- few weeks later, the person whom upset me encounters some unexpected bad luck or shitty thing happening to them, and when I hear about it I can often hear chuckling in the back of my mind. I must say, I love my selves, all attacking people that wrong me and s**t. . so sweet of them to take matters into their own hands like that! <3

As far as my "quirks" I can overreact sometimes. I get really annoyed very easily. Poeple just dont see it coming, they think I am some nice cute little bunny untill they say the wrong thing and get the face clawed off. I have been trying to work on getting people to see sooner that I am not all nice and sweetness so they are prepared for what is to come if they cross the line.

The fact of the matter is the overreacting *isnt* going to stop. If someone disrespects me they have signed themselves up for some emotional abuse. It is only fair right? I mean, I have to beat these enormous egos in to their proper place.

I dont ask for respect, I demand it. Those that cant give it, or choose to talk down to me deserve what they get. I give others respect, and so I dont see any reason why I should tolerate disrespectfulness from them. This goes for strangers, people I know slightly, as well as close freinds. It is just something people have to accept. I know others would rather just distance from a freind who disrespects them, but I will give them a chance to apologize or try to make amends if they so choose, after I am done scolding them about it. If they choose not to make amends, then they werent a very good freind in the first place if they CANNOT admit to their own mistakes. mad

I also laugh sometimes at people's failures, especially when they act like they are so amazing. Just seeing the narcessists fail is humorous to me, as well as those who give false, shotty justifications for things.

I focus too much on the negative sometimes. When something nags at me about someone it can be an obsession for me. I try to reaffirm to myself that they arent all bad and remind myself of the positives of the individual. For some this is harder to do for than others. xd rofl

I also really hate small mistakes. Like doing the wrong thing in some social situation. Like it would annoy me to go to a dinner that has piles of spoons for different purposes and to not know what to do with the spoons and whch is for soup etc. I like to know the proceedures so I can blend in, so it annoys me when I dont. Part of the reason I dislike new jobs, since you dont know what to do in them. I dont mind it so much if they like,dont just toss you into the work without you knowing what to do, but some jobs really do do that. Like one job I had they had me answer the phone without telling me the line you are supposed to say when you answer, then they yell at me for not saying it, when they never told me the line -_-. Like people who will do s**t like that just to yell at you, that pisses me off. I hate being the newbie at something, but if the people arent mean or overly judgemental it isnt so bad.

That is all I can think of right now. . I had a thread in my guild where I wrote more about this, but dont remember the rest so eh. .

That sucks. . I have a problem where I can think and talk but usually dont feel at the same time. .it is odd, like, when I start thinking or typing or talking the feelings dissapear untill I am done. . XD. . I guess I am a bit too structured, but I am trying to work on that since it is strange.

lol at least you do feel, and you can work with that