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 Posted: Tue Jan 08, 2008 3:10 am
Defend Spira. Even until the death.
Have you ever had one of those months, years, days, etc. where you felt like your value was somewhere between 0 and -1? Ever had it persist for over a year?
Don't answer that last one. It will either cause me to pity you for being in my case, or envy you for being higher than me,and neither are things I feel like doing right now.
But yes, I haven't been able to put it into words for a long while for the simple fact that doing so gets me branded with such lovely and admirable titles as "emo", "depressed", "suicidal", or "retarded". But I'll hold my tongue no longer on the subject. For 18 months now I have felt utterly worthless and mal-beneficial. This feeling then brings up a sense of shock at discovering I am useful or needed, and when such knowledge is unknown; an overwhelming urge to please everyone but myself.
In my studies for a source of this feeling I have discovered nothing. I have, however, noticed a decline in shock when the person assigning me value in their life knows something about me. This then sparked a rather dismal and moderately depressing revelation. No one important to me knows really much about me; that said, no one unimportant to me knows anything either.
That revelation then sparked a new idea. On the hunt for how to fix this problem, and thusly reduce shock from not being deemed worthless, I have come to a handful of ideas. An autobiography would never sell, and wandering the streets blurting out my every secret would probably not end well, I have chosen to air on the side of my final idea.
It is the Random Fact Bulletin Board(RFBB) wherein I will randomly state a few fats about myself, my life, my preferences, or even other various tidbits from my journals and or notebooks. To those who read this thread, I give my gratitude in form of allowing questions to be asked. (though I have a feeling that will never happen... anyway...)
There will likely be repetitious statements as it will be randomized and my posts will be based on what so ever happens to pop up in my mind. You could, I suppose, call this the Belegorad's Egocentric Autobiographical Self-Esteem Boosting Babble Thread(BEASEBB?) But that makes me sound like some evil mastermind who will likely go insane and either rule the world or fail in a hideous march on Moscow, and does that really sound like me?
(...) Again, don't answer that. sweatdrop
Such is the oath of the Holy Order of Chocobo Knights
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Posted: Tue Jan 08, 2008 3:33 am
Defend Spira. Even until the death.
Okay, fact one...
That last poll option is supposed to read "Seriously?! Dood!! (Prinny option)" but I forgot that last bit. *shrug*
Anyway, I'll start this little novella by compiling a few pieces that should be common knowledge by now, but being an American male I am expected to drill my beliefs into everyone around me..., and there may be some who've never looked at my profile or listened to my previous posting this month...
I am in love with a woman, whom I'm not sure is okay with me disclosing this, but is a member of pollducks and is named, online, Evil. She and I have been ogether for longer than three months, and thusly an exact tie is lost until anniversary, some time in August(?).
My favorite colours are Chartreuse and Cobalt.
My favorite animal is the turtle.
I abhor text speak to one such extent that, on a bad day, I have been known to eliminate relationships through which I am suffered reading it.
I abhor bad grammar, but it is something not so easily cut from my life... *occasionally guilty of it too* (besides... our school newspaper can be an example of grammar hell...)
I like ellipses("...") a lot.
I am 17 an attend Arvada Highschool wherein I am the humour editor of the Crimson Report and Student Director in the theatre.
Logic would serve, then, that I live in Arvada Colorado, and am a junior in the highschool therein.
I have a bad habit of using Shakespearian-esque styles of grammar and or spelling...
I like music, and am first-chair in the Viola section. (also, ironically enough, I am the only one with balls to challenge, or balls in general, both literally and metaphorically)
I hate talking about my self so much that there have been times when I would maintain my silence for months on end to avoid the subject.
I feel awkward and vulnerable when I am single or am not near women.
I am not a virgin.
I am heterosexual.
I am usually either loud and outspoken or utterly silent, but sometimes somewhere in between.
I am very picky about my fruits and veggies...
I loathe spinach, radishes, beets, asparagus, tomatoes, ripe bananas, cabbage, green apples, and liver.
I am now done with my first, and readership forcing, potentially only update.
Fair eve' *bows and exits*
Such is the oath of the Holy Order of Chocobo Knights
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Posted: Tue Jan 08, 2008 5:53 pm
You and I must fight for our rights. I had no idea you did so much in your school. AND that you're the Student Director of your theatre! eek What kind of plays have you all put on? What's it like being the Student Director? Is it stressful? Is it enjoyable? Is it both stressful and enjoyable?
Even though you hate tomatoes, do you still like ketchup? (Just want to know if I'm not the only one. xd ) You and I must fight to survive.
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Posted: Sun Feb 24, 2008 10:39 pm
Speakst thou from thy heart? Aye, and from my soul
Yeah, no one really does... So far? Romeo and Juliet, and Hello Dolly. Yeah, extremely stressful but somewhat enjoyable.
Yeah, I like ketch, but not so much... Oddly enough, I also like tomato soup confused ...
Anywho, I've noticed something... Highschool women make life really hard when you aren't in love with them...
and now a poetic blurb...
I'm not sure if you've seen this one before, but I still like it...
Risen is the tower, and so too descends the lord.
Cursed and praised.
Time comes for the saviors of lore.
Blessed and doomed.
Alas, slain be the heroes.
Lost by hopelessness.
Their souls forever wander.
To besmirch the lords coming.
In lord’s name lies a note of demise.
All now are blinded.
Forsaken and forever lost.
He shall bear deliverance from life.
His words, serpentine in truth
They are of the Necronomicon.
The tomes of old lay now shattered.
Proving darkness undenied.
Falsified truths bore his name.
World trembled.
The lord spoke.
The false god.
“Gloria palma deus?
Immo!
Deus in nox noctus.
Gloria palma nox noctus!”
The tower crumbles unto the valley
All now, vision to an end.
Life fades and death rejoices.
Here comes Baal to take us all.
Anywho... Uhm... in my confusion and my doubt, it would seem that I have lost my purpose for being... No matter though, it will return before death, of that I am sure. There is only one who needs to know what's up right now, so only she will know unless she chooses to tell. (In other words, don't bother asking, for I won't bother answering unless it is her who asks, but she won't need to as I am about to tell her.)
Oh, and Sweeney Todd is an amazing movie; as is Jumper and 27 Dresses.
Else beshrew them both. ....Amen.
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Posted: Mon Feb 25, 2008 4:01 am
I love you Alex, I miss you.
I'm sad I hadn't seen this thread at all until now.
=c
otherwise I would have posted in it long before!
[and btw, think the idea of this thread is AWESOME, an I wish you'd post in here more often =c <3 reading the first post gave me gleement<3]
I really wish to hear tidbits of your life more often.
..I hope you make use of this thread<3
Belegorad
I have a bad habit of using Shakespearian-esque styles of grammar and or spelling...
I don't find it a bad habit at all! You go right on ahead with that, sweetheart<3
I love it, for I'm just about as wordy as you >w<
..and have in fact had the thought more than once to go a day speaking only in such a way >w< ..in a very Shakespearian manner. 3nodding heart
I really wish you had more good friends in your life,
for life, can be quite hard to bear without.
I'd kidnap you, and show what an awesome time can be had so easily, iffin' I could.
I wish you good times sweety.
I very very do.
<3
WELLNESS!
*throwshearts*
heart heart heart
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