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 Posted: Thu Jan 10, 2008 8:20 am
(LOL, Got in another Email... HELLA MADE ME LAUGH)
2008 Resolutions….for my husband
I can not make New Year’s resolutions again this year. It’s just too painful to make another list of promises to myself that I won’t keep. But New Year’s doesn’t seem like New Year’s without some empty proclamations, so in honor of tradition, I’ve decided that I will make resolutions after all. Only I’ll make them for my husband.In 2008, I Dustin resolve to do the following:
1. I will stop clipping my toenails over the wicker bathroom trash can, unless I’m willing to (a) put a plastic-bag liner in said trash can first, or (b) clean up all the clippings that fall through the cracks in the wicker.
2. To make Resolution #1 easier for myself, maybe I will just stop clipping my dirty toenails anywhere in the vicinity of my wife.
3. I will clip my toenails in the garage.
4. I will always check the 200 hundred pockets of my flight suit for pieces of paper, government-issued writing pens, chewing gum, and peppermints before putting it in the washing machine.
5. I will yell at the television less when watching football.
6. I will stop feeding the children nachos and calling that dinner when my wife is gone for the night to a Spouse Club meeting.
7. I will put the ketchup bottle where it belongs (on the shelf on the door of the refrigerator) instead of where it drives my wife crazy (anywhere else in the refrigerator or pantry).
8. When I have consumed copious amounts of garlic, onions, chili, jalepanos, beans, alcohol, or any combination of those, I will sleep in a different room from my wife.
9. Likewise, when I have Athlete’s Foot, I will wear socks to bed.
10. And last, when I have broken all these resolutions and my wife gets mad, I will understand that she is only trying to help. Because without her, I am similar to a caveman, only with shorter toenails and worse breath.
Ah, I feel better already.
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Posted: Thu Jan 10, 2008 9:37 am
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Posted: Fri Jul 18, 2008 5:20 pm
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Posted: Wed Oct 15, 2008 9:36 pm
Oh my gosh!!! I love it!!! I can't wait to show my friends, who like me, have "cavemen" for husbands.
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