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Tags: Role Play, Akatsuki, Naruto, anime, manga 

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Long lost brother

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iSalvadoreno
Crew

PostPosted: Thu Jan 17, 2008 2:44 pm


One day while Hiroku was walking his wolf on the outskirts of his village an unkown ninja suddenly appears in front of him. "Who are you," said Hiroku. The ninja was wearing a mask so Hiroku did not know if the ninja was staring at him or above him. "..." the ninja then took off his mask. Hiroku was surprised how much the other ninja looked like him."I'm Haku of the mist." the unknown ninja had a large man with a sword on his back. "I am also your brother" said Haku. "What!?" exclaimed Hiroku. "My parents told me I had no other siblings.""Those werent your real parents, after our mom found out I had the kekkai genkai she feared for you, she then unwillingly gave you to our neighbors.""Wait," Hiroku stops him in the middle of his sentence."How do I know you are not lying.""You can go check out the medical records in the main village."Hiroku then hops onto his wolf and goes to the main village. Haku stays behind and tends to the man. "Your ruthless Haku!" shouts the man. You could have hit me anywhere but the neck, you could have killed me with those needles!""They can pierce deeply' but rarely kill unless they target a vital organ ... not in the neck. These senbon are modified from needles used for medical treatments like acupuncture."" you still could have killed me!""Well i'm only a child." Haku grins.
PostPosted: Mon Jan 28, 2008 5:54 pm


There are some errors in your story. You weren't very helpful on where Zabuza was. Was he standing, walking, on the ground what? Plus that was very short. Are you going to put it on a FanFic site?

Cloud_Strife_Haku_FanGirl


Hinata_Huuyga#1

PostPosted: Sun Feb 10, 2008 6:46 pm


Good job but some things didn't go smoothly! Before Hiroku went to check the medical records in the village wouldn't it have been more natural if they talked more? Otherwise good job and keep working in it.
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