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DF could not think of a topic to start last night, she looked at the Guild's forum for like twenty minutes and then was like forget it! :O So yay, now we have a topic:

/off topic:

Well, what started me on the path to Witchcraft was a shop in this building called 1001 marts. I know now that this shop was a pagan shop (and it probably wasn't doing well being that it was in the south, though I think that it did OK enough. Because the shop stayed there for a long time). I walked right in and looked around all their neat crystals and things and finally I was looking at this crystal with a chain on it.

The man (who was the woman's husband I'll get back to that later), came over and told me it was a pendulum and how to use it. So I asked my mother to buy it for me and she did (along with some rose hips and other assorted goodies in bags because she makes dried floral arrangements). I got to talking with the woman and she called herself a Gypsy (So please don't bang my chain about the name. That's what she called herself, not what I called her).

And so I got interested and looked up some stuff on Pendulums and as I searched I found all of this wiccan/witchcraft sites. Now granted I know now that most of them were Pure T crap. But being from a strict Orthodox family I found that I like the concepts of having your own path to travel on, your own way. It was very much like I had stumbled upon a big secret.

So I spent my days (pretty much) looking up witchcraft/"wicca" and finally decided that I was a "solitary wiccan" (and we all know that's pretty much incorrect, especially from what I was reading at the time). And I think after a year (maybe less than that), I found out just how wrong I was about my status as a "wiccan". The websites had failed me! Homg.

So I just called myself a witch and continued looking and searching for different paths and gathering up information.

Oh, oh a let me just say before I became a "wiccan" I actually tested out spells. You know how a lot of people claim that their spells that they first try out don't work. I think it's because they don't wait around for them to work. I did two money spells. The first one was a knot magic spell (I know now what it's called) and the second was a coin in a pan spell, a "wiccan" based money spell if you will.

And then I "forgot" about them, I even had a dream of me in my old jr. high's cafeteria with a change purse. I opened the purse and turned it upside down and all these gold and silver coins came rushing out of it. But I never really looked back on the spells or even thought about them until suddenly I found myself in posession of a large sum of money. Or at least that's what it was for a younger person, you know. Five bucks = rich, 30-40 dollars = homg.

Basically I think people don't have the patience anymore when testing out spells. Because we are all very -I want it now- kind of people. It's what we've been trained to do. And if I don't like it, then obviously it's broken.

Anyway, back to the story:

So then one day I stumbled (several years after I titled myself as a witch) upon a website about dragon magic. Now a lot of it was "fru-fru" stuff, lots of astral projections stories and all that mess. But I found that I liked the idea of having a relationship, spiritual and otherwise with something that wasn't human. (By nature I'm not to happy with the human race) Now before this, (I have a lot of random crap happening to me, so it's kind of like asking me what my life story is when you ask me what started. I even skipped out some junk. XD ) I did a weather altering thing where I had an image of a dragon, so white that it gave off rainbows on the scales and I asked her (I didn't know at the time it was a her) to help me out. And she did, and it snowed (and I got out of school. I'm a little selfish I do admit).

But I hadn't done the invitation yet, so I never recognised it until, well, getting ahead of myself.

I did the invitation, basically a normal thing where I invited any dragon who wanted to, to join me. I had one come instantly, a green smaller, personal dragon. And I had him on my person most of the time. Now a days, I've let the dragons have a free reign (not like I could stop them anyway, lol) of whatever they want. I guess I subconciously thought of them as baby sitters and I needed them to be with me every single day of my life in the beginning, and now I realize, that that's not what they are for. They are here to help me, guide me, and to work with me. And I don't need to have complete and utter control of their attention all the time.

Anyway, so I met the "first" one the green one. Then a couple nights later, just as I was about to go to sleep I had this bam in my face vision (oh I forgot to say, I don't have spirit sight, I can't see spirits unless they give me a mental image. That's how I know what these dragons look like). It was this massive head sticking out of my wall. I have nine foot ceilings, the horns were in my roof a little, of a black dragon. So I ask him if he would like to work with me, and he said he did. But he said something else that I'm not going to share, but I'd like to let it know that he wasn't just simply, oh sure, I'll work with you. So then I had these two dragons, and you know I talked with the green one the most because the black one didn't want to stay around me all the time. Until one day in a chat room, I was talking with some of the other pagans and suddenly this woman IMs me (I mean we were talking but we weren't really talking about any of thise) and tells me that I have a green male dragon and a white, protective, female dragon. Instantly I get the mental image of the green dragon on my shoulder (where I had felt him being) and behind me a white dragon. And it was the same dragon as before. I flipped out. I didn't recognize that she had been protecting me every since the day of the snow (lol funny phrase). I told the woman about the black dragon, and she said she didn't see him anywhere near me I said that it was true that he wasn't near me at the moment. But it was just like reinforcement.

So right now, I practice a kind of dualistic (like I said in teh intro) non religious, dragon magic based witchcraft.

I do both spell work (ritual style with the help of the dragons) and also energy work, (where I just use energy).

Yeah, I've read a lot into the myths of dragons (I was kind of addicted to dragons and unicorns even before I was in witchcraft. The last unicorn, yeah I rented it -every- single time I went to the movie story. I currently own it now. 8D ) and seen a lot of theories on dragons. It is possible. I really can't say for sure that they did or didn't. I never really discussed/discuss that sort of thing with them. It's just not something that's really "important", you know?

I have actually. (Like I said, I cut some out) My first spiritual contact was of non-witchcraft base. It was a year or so before I started in witchcraft, with my grandfather. He died four days before my birthday and was buried on my birthday. So all my family celebrated my birthday and tried to make everything special, and that night I was in a bunk bed on the top bed with the door open. My family has this tendency to talk late into the night so that's why the light was on in the living room and it streams right into that backroom. The door was open and I was kind of stareing at this picture of Mary, the Mother of God when I see this black shadow profile of my grandfather go right over where door was open and the light was touching the picture. I mean like a full body shadow. And I knew it was my grandfather due to the facial features, my grandfather has distinct features, specifically a forehead and a nose that were unique to his face. As soon as it was gone I was freaking out, right? But I didn't want to move in case it was something bad, so then I'm like looking around trying to find out where it went, trying to figure what happened and I feel this hand touch my leg. Like saying it's ok, all is well. And I relaxed and fell asleep after I calmed down a lot more.

That wasn't really working with anything, but eh, that was my first ever encounter with a spirit before. Just an extra story on top of the other two:

Ok, so I started witchcraft (*coughsolitarywiccanwasIthencough*) and I found out some information about Spirit Guides and Totemn animals. And I found the "way" to meet both of them, so I decide, hey why not? Let's meet them, what's the harm.

So I clean out my bathroom (since that was the only room in the house that didn't have windows and could completely be shut. And made sure everything was nice and clean. Then I sat down on my toilet and I started focusing on trying to meet my spirit guides. I invited them to come into my bathroom and started asking them questions.

Like, "Can you touch me?" To which I got a response on my leg. Just a tingle but the same type of tingle that I received when I was touched by my grandfather. Apparently I tingle when touched by a spirit. I'm very aware of that now. Even when being touched by the dragons I tingle. Anyhoo! So I'm excited now and then I ask how many I had, which I had three. Then I asked their names, Mary, Gary, and Kevin. Mary was a past witch and Gary's a little bit of eh... orginial. Kevin's the quietest one. So this was way before the dragons and I started talking with Gary the most, and asking him various things. It was interesting. I think I got Mary to help me on some of my spells/tarots and other things. Kevin I didn't really work with so I guess he's for when I get older or he's one of those secretive types who works to protect me without me knowing.

then I did the mediation for the totemn animals. Now the mediation wasn't like exceedingly long, but it was so vivid. I mean usually daydream, but this mediation was very much like one of my actual dreams it was very vivid. Usually when I daydream I take a third person point of view, in this one, it was all one person point of view. So that's what made the distinction for me. And I find the spot in the mediation trance of where I'm supposed to be at to meet them. And I'm surrounded by a forest, this massive forest. And then it's like a stampeed let loose somewhere, and I see all these animals coming at me, but distinctly I see a lion, snake, a bird (i'm not really sure what the bird is), and several other animals for which I only had a brief glance at and I'm so shocked/scared I pop right out of the mediation. Didn't have a chance to talk, didn't have anything. So now I know what my totemn animals are.

A little later I decide to channel one of the animals, and I channeled the lion. I had shut the door to my room, so instead of me actually going outside of my room (and possibly freaking le parents) I was stuck. And all I did was walk around in circles, not growling but like annoyed noises. And I finally shook myself out of the lion or the lion out of myself (I'm not sure which) and settled down. Then I went and ate something cause I was hungry. Apparently lions have massive appetites.

Then a little later on I was in bed, and I wasn't really into sleeping mode, when all of the sudden I feel this weight just come up on my bed (well actually there was no coming up on, there was just on my bed) and then finally it settled right over my feet. I look down expecting to see one of my sneaky cats (I close my door at night, but that doesn't seem to prevent them from trying to get in before I close my door), but I didn't. I barely saw anything, expect an outline. This like light blue outline, if I hadn't had noticed it I probably would have just adjusted myself and just went off into slumberland. But it was in the shape of this lion, on his back paws up in the air, on my feet. Now it wasn't like a complete outline where I could see features of the face or anything, just like a body outline. But i'm not scared. I realized that it was my totemn animal and he just wanted to sleep with me. So I adjusted my feet a little better (he rolled over so he was on my side and on my feet) and promptly went about trying to go to sleep.

I can't say that I've actually "partnered" with either my spirit guides or my totemn animals like I do when I'm doing complicated spell work with the dragons. (I keep typing out "my" dragons. :< I need to stop that. Habit of ownership in sentences.) But I have invited all of them into helping me with a spell during the spell. Just like I invite any spirits who happen to be in the visinity that want to help me to work with me in the spell or if I need a little bit of help from a God, I invite them. It's not like an active partnership, like it is when you work with dragons.

I've tried meeting the fae. Which of course isn't always a good thing, and I haven't really met any of them or seen any of them. But on the odd occasion I do feel like there is something in my hair. And when I try to touch it/find whatever it is, it's gone by the time I touch my hair. (Tingly sensations as well as actual feeling of movement of my hair strands).

I think a lot of my experiences are based out of just a building up to meeting different kinds of spirits. But yeah, it's not like an active "working with" kind of thing, but I've had my fair share of experiences with an assortment of spirits. Haven't really had any nasty encounters though. And I hope I never do.

I would freak out if I saw an overly large woman too, Charity. Lol.

You've had a lot more social experiences with others than I have. Most of mine are spirit contact. xD So day, when I'm out of my parents house I want to go meet a few people and talk about witchcraft openly. I've only done that once, and it's wasn't really openly. It was more like a brief encounter that lasted maybe two hours, and the person wasn't a witch, just someone who used to date one. Kind of funny.

Do you still see spirits?

This question gets asked quite a bit. I get tired of answering it sometimes, so when I saw this topic the first thought through my head was 'oh... what do I say this time?' It got me thinking anyway. Or rather, a question from one of my 'spirit guides' got me thinking. He rather has a habit of asking odd questions and he essentially asked "why Witchcraft?" My initial response of course was "well, I don't really use the label Witch..." but then he gave me this look which said 'you're dodging the question on a technicality know quite well what I mean by it.' So I really thought about that. Why... back then... I was drawn to the modern Pagan movement.

I found I couldn't quite say. Not neccesarily because I don't know, but because the reasons I first came to it, I decided, aren't important. What is important are the reasons I am still doing it now, not why I decided back then. I can't even be sure if the reasons I THINK I used back then were really the reasons - I could very well be projecting my current reasons onto the past. Today I like the Path because of its emphasis on Nature. Was that really why I liked it in the past? Who knows. It doesn't really matter. The now is what matters.

One thing was certain, however. One of the reasons I was drawn to the movement is because the very existence of 'spirit guides' was common hat and accepted. The 'guide' I was speaking to about this I've had for over ten years. Long before I even KNEW of a modern Craft or Neopagan movement. It was always one of my most deeply kept secrets because I knew damned well anyone would think I was crazy if I told them. Yet here was this movement that wouldn't. I don't see either of my 'guides' precisely as 'guides' but it is the closest term within the movement that fits. They're first and foremost companions and always have been. So I suppose acceptance of THEM was a big factor initially in getting me to latch onto the Craft.

caution I might ramble on a bit.

I guess it started when I was really young. My grandparents have said that I use to empty out my toy chest, get inside and shut it. It didn't lock but had small sliding doors on it. They also said that I talk with someone in there. Like most kids I was afraid of the dark, or so my family though. In truth it was the things in the darkness. Things that haunted me in dreams and waking reality. Whatever those things were they didn't like me. During my teenage years, I started to get bruises and small cuts during my sleep.

I've always had vivid dreams. Though my dreams were almost always nightmares. I can only remember a few good dreams I've had over the years.

I prayed to the moon when I was a boy. I use to hear music in the air, singing in the air. I saw spirits you could say. Perhaps it was some of the gods, I don't know.

I learned what I needed to keep those creatures of darkness away from me. Though I still feel them hiding and waiting. I've gone through some strange things as well. at times I've had nasty reactions to garlic and onions, had cravings for blood, once I had a silver ring burn a little flesh off my finger and heard the calling of the moon.

some say I'm crazy, something I'm dangerous but in the end I don't know what to think.

I dunno if it's normal, per se. Craving meat isn't exactly the same as craving blood. Just because it's abnormal doesn't make it inherently 'wrong' either though so don't read that message into it. It's what you do with the urge or belief, not the belief itself. wink

I guess that we could probably never live together though... I put garlic and/or onions in almost everything I cook. whee

That's kinda weird, but I've had something like that happen to me before. It was my body heat reacting to the metal. At first I thought "WTF", then I felt my skin and it was just a reaction.

As for blood, I'm a spiritual vampire. By wihch I mean I have the need to taste human blood from time to time. I don't think I'm physically a vampire, but that my spirit has for some reason adopted some of the mythological traits. I feel spirit flow through me when I taste blood. I'm not an "otherkin", but I feel my spirit likes the taste of human blood.

It's religious for me. Nothing more, nothing less. It's also psychological in that it helps me dive into my "darker" sides. Something that many witches don't admit to having or even enjoying. I like it. It's free!