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 Posted: Sat Jan 19, 2008 7:29 pm
Economic Models explained with Cows - 2007 update
SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows .
You give one to your neighbor .
COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows .
The State takes both and gives you some milk .
FASCISM
You have 2 cows .
The State takes both and sells you some milk .
NAZISM
You have 2 cows .
The State takes both and shoots you .
BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows .
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away ...
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows .
You sell one and buy a bull .
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows .
You sell them and retire on the income
SURREALISM
You have two giraffes .
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows .
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows .
Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead .
ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows .
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows .
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company .
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more .
You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows .
No balance sheet provided with the release .
The public then buys your bull .
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows .
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows .
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows .
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk .
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide .
A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows .
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves .
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are .
You decide to have lunch .
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows .
You count them and learn you have five cows .
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows .
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows .
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka .
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you .
You charge the owners for storing them .
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows .
You have 300 people milking them .
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity .
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation .
AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows .
You worship them .
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows .
Both are mad .
AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows .
You tell them that you have none .
No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your country .
You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy ...
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows .
Business seems pretty good .
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate .
A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows .
The one on the left looks very attractive .
*Not my work, obviously.
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Posted: Sun Jan 20, 2008 9:45 am
Where'd you find that? That's HILARIOUS! 
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Posted: Sun Jan 20, 2008 11:18 am
Harmonica lessons! Yay!
I haven't laughed that hard in a while. You win!
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Posted: Sun Jan 20, 2008 7:35 pm
I found this in my friend's DA journal...who got it through on of those nifty chain letters. It's sad I only get worthless ones... razz
Yeah..whoever wrote this is a ******** genius.
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Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2008 7:14 am
Agreed. I rofl'd through ALL of that... it's amazing... like wow....
You have a deviantart? Can I has link? I'm ttravenfan1. The name's back from my n00bish days, unfortunately, but I've recovered. Too bad we can't change names.
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Posted: Tue Jan 22, 2008 1:28 pm
Scraps 2-point-0 Agreed. I rofl'd through ALL of that... it's amazing... like wow.... You have a deviantart? Can I has link? I'm ttravenfan1. The name's back from my n00bish days, unfortunately, but I've recovered. Too bad we can't change names. Deviant art is being screwy right now...-_-;;; Server s**t. Yeah I would have changed mine to Bruno Strongod. My stripper name. 3nodding
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Posted: Tue Jan 22, 2008 4:58 pm
You can still give me your username, and I'll just search for you there later. Stripper name, eh? But what SONG should you strip to? Apparently I'm a little BDSM-esqe: Your Stripper Song Is Closer by Nine Inch Nails "You let me violate you, you let me desecrate you You let me penetrate you, you let me complicate you Help me I broke apart my insides, help me IÃve got no Soul to tell" When you dance, it's a little scary - and a lot sexy. What Song Should You Strip To?http://www.blogthings.com/whatsongshouldyoustriptoquiz/Lawl. I'd say that's pretty accurate.
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Posted: Wed Jan 23, 2008 5:13 pm
I want to see Kaze's stripper thing... XD I'll try adding you now. Your Stripper Song IsPour Some Sugar on Me by Def Leppard "Love is like a bomb, baby, c'mon get it on Livin' like a lover with a radar phone Lookin' like a tramp, like a video vamp Demolition woman, can I be your man?" Break out the baby oil, you rock it old school. What Song Should You Strip To?http://www.blogthings.com/whatsongshouldyoustriptoquiz/
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Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2008 3:07 am
I started to take it, but then. . .it began to frighten me.
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Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2008 3:15 pm
O my, this is quite hilarious. My friend and I especially enjoyed the last one about New Zealand, all they have there is sheep and Flight of the Conchords, who are, by the way, very funny. biggrin
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Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2008 3:24 pm
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Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2008 4:36 pm
The very idea of myself stripping sends me to the verge of shock. . . (I wasn't beaten with an ugly stick at birth--the premise just repulses me.)
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Posted: Sat Jan 26, 2008 3:05 pm
It makes me 'gasm, too, for that matter.
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Posted: Sat Jan 26, 2008 7:11 pm
Everything gives you a party in your pants, though. razz
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Posted: Sun Jan 27, 2008 6:48 am
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Reply
