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Okay. So I started my day off alright. I woke up at about 7:30, thawed my car out, picked up my ex's little brother and took him to school... Why? Because I do that. I went to my exam, wrote it, and ended up driving home with an extra passenger: My buddy Aleem. He's great. And furry. Sooo I dropped my ex's brother off, hugged my ex goodbye, and took Aleem to my house. We watched a movie and realized we were bored. So we went to the mall and I ended up buying a book. Why? Because he and I have this unwritten law that one of us has to spend money when we're out, and it usually ends up around $20. So at the very last minute, before I had to swing by and pick up my ex to pick up her youngest brother from school, I just grabbed a book off the shelf and bought it. Which was very stupid because I just lost my job and have very little money remaining. I'm thinking of selling the iPod I bought maybe three weeks ago. sad

Anyway. Turns out I like the book so far. It's called Geomancer by Ian Irvine.

I dropped Aleem off at home and came inside with my ex when i dropped her off. And she totally scared the crap out of me, again, because she was very quiet, and in that mood where she doesn't want anyone to touch her (we still have a very close relationship)

She eventually told me to just leave, since she had nothing nice to say. (She's pissed off, something really unfortunate just happened, involving the crap-a** legal system) so she hugged me, for a long time, and told me the reason she invited me in was... i vaguely remember this part, i started crying right after she said it... something along the lines of "In case something happens" or "something goes wrong"... you know, that kind of thing.

I told her as i left that I'd see her next Monday, and she didn't really say much in reply... and when I talked to her on msn a while ago... she seems to have given up all hope...

The saddest part is I wrote a song last night, that struck me out of the blue as i was worrying about her schooling next semester (she tends to skip, drop out, etc. due to depression)... I wrote a song about her being gone, and me carrying on... I might post it later, it's still in the works though.

I'm terrified she might just give up soon. I think about everything she's done for me since we started dating... I'd completely given up smoking and pot, not just for her... she inspired me, really... I don't drink as much as I used to either... but if she's not there... I'm not the only one who will be hurt... She's a very powerful person... I know she can do a lot to fix the governments ******** ups with the sex offenders act. she keeps saying, she wants to make a difference. She's lived through hell... she could very well be the martin luther king for sexual abuse... but if she just gives up... we're all at a loss.

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ps. ignore all my typos and horrible paragrahing and sentence structure and all that gross stuff. I do care about proper English when I write my stories... razz