Welcome to Gaia! ::

Jo Frost sighed and straightened out her signature 'nanny dress' as she sat in the backseat of the limo. "Put a step on it love" she called out to the driver. "Dunno why we English folk have to drive like bloody lightweights all the-?"

Psst Jo, you're on the air!

"Oh right sorry then. Today we are visiting the Pilek family. This is... OH MY SHE JUST THREW SOMETHING AT THE CAMERA AND IT'S ALL SNOWY IT IS." Jo tends to talk like a lower-class British orphan when she's really excited.

"Oh wait- there we are. This is Natalia, a nine year-old girl. She's been giving mummy and daddy a very hard time, hasn't she mhmm?" Jo scrunched up her face as the viewers witnessed Nat push down a chair and scream. One could see a humble suburban home completely torn in shreds. "Do not fret Mr. and Mrs. Pilek, you called the right Nanny. The SUPERnanny."

((gei theme song plays))

"As you can see, Nat's behavior is completely unasseptable. And yes, I am going to say completely unasseptable about a thousand times today so you Americans better get used to it!"

"Oh look, here we are!" The limo curved up the typical wind-y path and parked near the house. Jo stood up with her briefcase, walked up the sidewalk, and knocked on the door.

As soon as the door swung open, Jo's suit was covered in mac & cheese! "What is a nine-year-old doing answering the door?" Jo told the cameras - seemingly unfazed at the maraconi attack. Jo was cool and confident like that. "I could be a *****!" Unsurprisingly, the house was thrashed. But what shocked Jo is that the parents were zonked out on the couch while Natalie was free to run amuck.

"Mum and dad have fainted on the couch the night prior, and Natalie is up making her own breakfast. This is completely unasseptable!"

"Does this happen often?" Jo asked Nat. She then went over to wake the parents up. Suddenly, the smoke alarm went off. "Ungh-what?" Mr. Pilek said in-between grunts.

"YOUR BLOODY HOUSE IS ON FIRE THAT'S WHAT!!!" Jo screamed. Jo took off her shoes, ran in the kitchen, and promptly put out the fire. "Never in all my years of have I seen a situation this horrendous!" Jo told the viewers. Close-up shot of Nat laughing while wearing the macaroni bowl over her head.

Jo could do nothing besides shake her head. "Unbelievable! Your daughter could have killed everyone in their sleep!"

Mr. Pilek slowly waddled in the kitchen. He was wearing a wife-beater and boxers. He scratched his belly. "mmm...women's work" he grumbled. He then spun around and began walking in the other direction.

Something primal stirred within Jo. She ran up hella fast, used the kitchen island for momentum and jump kicked Mr. Pilek! He went flying forward and banged his head on the telly...phone. That's London's way of saying 'telephone.'

"HEY!!!"

"Excuse me, what did you say?" Jo asked assertively. She snapped back in Mrs. Pilek's direction. "Does this happen often? He just walks away during a family cri-cees?" (that's supernanny for 'crisis')

"Hey I was dealing with her all night!" Mr. Pilek groaned before his wife could answer. He coughed up some blood. Man, supernanny could be brutal. "I work, and go home to Nattie acting up...and listen to my wife nag nag nag nag. I don't know what ya want me to do! I put food on the table, that's what the man's supposed to do!"

"Well now you have TWO women nagging at you..." supernanny said. Quick shot of supernanny and mum in a Buffy/kendra slayer pose, but it looks more funny than empowering since mum still has dark rings around her eyes.

"Yes...my jump kick was to merely demonstrate that kids pick up on violent behavior. She's learning her behavior from SOMEWHERE...." An imaginary lightbulb turned on in Jo's head. She then marched in the living room and began searching through the videos.

"You let Nat watch these kinds of movies?" Jo said with her jaw dropped open. "These are all R-rated! Absolutely, positively - unasseptable for a 9-year-old little girl."

Jo grabbed the macaroni bowl out of Nat's hands. "If you don't stop hitting daddy, you're going to go on the naughty step." Jo spun around. "Notice the tone of my voice? Low and authoritative? You have to let her know that you're the ones in charge."

Mr. Pilek in typical perv-y male voice: "I think it's hot!"

GSNA: Oh Mr. Pilek, wah wah waaaah.

The family watched to see if Nat would obey.

"She disobeyed her warning, so you take her to the naughty step." Jo grabbed Nat's hand and dragged her to the bottom of the stairs.

"I noticed before mum you asked her to simply stop. You must learn that idle threats never work with children. You must follow through with action if they disobey your warning." She sat Nat down on the step. "Now, you tell the child what she's doing here in a low, authoritative tone."

Supernanny cleared her throat and spoke to Nat; "You're here for for not listening when we told you to stop hitting daddy. We'll come back in 5 minutes after you think about what you did."

"Now, the hard part. Don't coax, don't over-explain. Get up, and leave the child. If she gets up and wanders, put her back on the step and walk back away. It is imperative that she spend her full 5 minutes on the naughty step."

Jo smiled. "You know what they say, London wasn't built in a day. This technique will take some time but you must enforce it."

"Now then...let's go to the playroom hmm?" Jo looked around and stuck her nose up at the mediocre suburban decor. "What a lovely home" she said sarcastically.

Jo looked at the barbies and gasped. "So many toys... it looks like some one's been a bad mum." She looked over at Ms. Pilek. "You think R-rated movies and tons of barbies can raise children?" She picked up a naked barbie that had nipples drawn in red crayon.

"Now we're going play a little game. You can only have 3 barbies." Jo held up three fingers while looking at Nat semi-condescendingly. "The rest will go in this blue bin, and you can have them back when you learn to be a good girl."