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 Posted: Sun Feb 03, 2008 9:58 am
This is a poem I did in October. Its G-rated
A crystal tear falls unheeded,
unchanging, waiting for comfort,
that never comes. Another tear falls,
then another. No comfort ever comes.
A girl cries out for a mother that’s
dead, drugged or wasted, but
comfort never comes. Tears fall
but they don’t bring life, only more sorrow.
No comfort ever comes
A young woman sits quivering in
the dark, alone, liquid misery
falling to her slender hands.
Her date’s drunk and she’s trapped
No comfort ever comes.
A new wife waits for her
soldier, crying as Selene spreads her skirts over the sky but
comfort never comes. Her
husband didn’t make it home.
Finally, a glimmer
a father enters, a
friend arrives, a brother
appears. Comfort has
come at last.
A crystal tear falls joyfully for
comfort has come at last
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Posted: Sun Feb 03, 2008 2:30 pm
Wow. That gave me the chills. It was really good--especially the smooth transition from line to line, from alone to with comfort. The metaphor of the tear was beautiful. <3
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Posted: Sun Feb 03, 2008 4:39 pm
Ruler of all Cheese Wow. That gave me the chills. It was really good--especially the smooth transition from line to line, from alone to with comfort. The metaphor of the tear was beautiful. <3 Thank you. I really didn't know how that would be recieved.
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Posted: Mon Feb 04, 2008 6:34 pm
Literature Angel Ruler of all Cheese Wow. That gave me the chills. It was really good--especially the smooth transition from line to line, from alone to with comfort. The metaphor of the tear was beautiful. <3 Thank you. I really didn't know how that would be recieved. You're quite welcome. ^__^
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Posted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 3:51 pm
That was fantastic!
I love how you made it move smooth from line to line, and I like the simple and sweet -- yet descriptive lines.
Awesomeeee.
whee
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Posted: Mon Mar 03, 2008 6:15 pm
mel0deis That was fantastic!
I love how you made it move smooth from line to line, and I like the simple and sweet -- yet descriptive lines.
Awesomeeee.
whee SPlee!!! thank you!
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