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 Posted: Thu Feb 07, 2008 12:14 am
Ok. So I need help deciding what im going to do.
Im not sure if I should try and get Fred back.
I loved him. I still dream about him (last night I got the rare dream when I can hug him). Everytime i feel like I want a hug, he is the first person I think about. He was the first guy I ever cried over.
When we split up it was labeled a "break", he worked to much to ever see me. 14 hours a day every day... for weeks on end. I wouldnt hear from him for weeks. I had to visit his mother to get any news in the end. Im sure all this sound like he just didnt want ot be with me at all. I try to tell myself this all the time.
He didnt know how I felt, I could never tell him, I didnt want him to feel like he had to say it back. I think he would have, to make me happy. Im afraid though that he broke up with me becos I never said anything and he thought I didnt care.
Anyway at the time of our short and intense dating, we never had sex, we would sleep in the same bed most nights. The closest thing He ever said to love was "Your mine and Im yours" at the time I just froze... I was still in denial that I had fallen for a tractor driver. I would sit and watch him read my flatmates car books all day and completly ignore me and still never care.
He finishes the super long hours work sometime around now and im going to finish my work with the beekeeper in two weeks.
Ive got a choice, I can go to Gisborne (where he lives) where I proberly wont beable to get a job for ages, where I have a few not so close friends and a possible love interest.
Or I can go to wellington, where another ex of mine lives. I never got a chance to fall in love with him becos we were both pretty messed up when we dated, but we have remained best of mates and even hooked up this one time when he was having a bad patch with his gf and I was in town.
Lol I just dont know what to do, I cant stay here, its pretty isolated.
for a while I just wanted to go to wellington and forget about Fred, it hurt so much to leave him, but that dream has brought back that feeling like when im with him im whole.
Ive tryed pros and cons
Fred pros:
Love him (counts for way more than just one)
doesnt smoke pot
not pretencious
Likes most of the same movies and music as me
might travel with me one day
has an awesome family
Fred Cons
Might not even want me
loves his car too much
lives in a middle of nowhere hole
A little away with the fairys
is stuck in a middle of nowhere hole for at least 5 years
isnt interested in art or reading
not very good at comunication
Quinn Pros
Likes me
wants me to come to wellington
not pretentious
lives in an awesome city
is an artist, likes reading
is in a band (death metal)
likes to try new drugs and things
is open and talks about things
Quinn Cons
might cheat on me like he did with me to his last gf
Is a stoner (big point, as I have an addictive personalty and get stoned on seconds)
Ok so there are alot more pros on Quinns favour, but it doesnt make the desision any easier.
Ive got about 4 weeks to decide.
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Posted: Sat Feb 09, 2008 9:31 am
I think you shouldn't make your life choices based on this guy. I think you're still hurting from the break up and that's hard. I may be biased because I've been hurt by guys a lot in the past, but I really think he would have been more proactive in the relationship if he really liked you.
Was there ever discussion of why you guys really broke up?
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Posted: Sat Feb 09, 2008 2:21 pm
I agree with what Robin said about Fred, so I can't exactly give him a ringing endorsement, but it sounds to me like going with Quinn is, in a way, settling for something you don't really want. If you really think you could connect with Quinn, then maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think items of convenience (he lives in a better city, isn't married to a job) should carry much weight in your decision.
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Posted: Sat Feb 09, 2008 8:48 pm
He said he didnt want to have a girlfriend he never got to see. Ideally you would want guy to be more proactive, even his mum says he is a bit vague at times. bezdomny I agree with what Robin said about Fred, so I can't exactly give him a ringing endorsement, but it sounds to me like going with Quinn is, in a way, settling for something you don't really want. If you really think you could connect with Quinn, then maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think items of convenience (he lives in a better city, isn't married to a job) should carry much weight in your decision. yeah I know what you mean, Im actully swaying to Quinn. Even if I dont get with him, it would be nice to be around a friend that cares about me for once. And I think I may just be to scared to even go back to Gisborne now. Im just going to have to ring Fred and ask him. But im afraid.
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Posted: Mon Nov 10, 2008 6:04 pm
I think that you should just see how it goes, and listen to your heart. I mean, honestly you shouldn't base love interests on complete strangers tell you, because in the end it's not their heart that's breaking or swelling with bliss, right? Besides you can still be friends with Quinn? Maybe you should try that first and see if you guys really do have something. Cheers and the best of luck to you.
~Je Vous Aimee Cherie!
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