It was late, and the world seemed to quiet down. Sounds were muted and came from faraway. Esther took a deep breath and savored the flavors and scents that flooded her palate. She reveled in the feeling of the night breeze on her fur. Her pose was relaxed, her muzzle resting on her paws. Everything seemed so peaceful, and Esther felt that she should enjoy the feeling while she could. After all, as soon as the sun rose, she knew that everything would change.
Change.
She was going through a lot of that these days. She'd met Kirabo, a fellow wandering hyena only a few weeks ago. He'd persuaded her to join him in attempting to gain membership to a strong pack of hyenas that lived nearby. The thought had brought about a lot of anxiety on Esther's part. She was not certain what the outcome would be.
Esther did not like the feeling that she was not in control. She'd wandered so long on her own, hunting for herself, thinking for herself, protecting herself. She hadn't had anyone else she needed to worry about, and now . . .
She couldn't help feel that she was setting herself up for failure. After all, being a part of a pack, a part of a family, it hadn't worked in the past. Her mind followed this train of thought and she was drawn back into memories of her past, of her childhood.
Of her mother.
~~~~~~
Young Esther bumbled about happily in the tall grass, delighted and amazed at the number of things that she could smell. She recongized the smell of her mother, only a short distance in front of her. It was just the two of them, but Esther didn't mind. She loved her mother. Together, they wandered about, roaming the land, exploring and learning new things. Often though, Esther could tell her mama was sad. She would often look off into the distance, like she was looking for somebody. Yet it was just the two of them.
~~~~~~
She could remember that. She remembered how her mother smelled, even though she'd forgotten her appearance long ago. Esther had been so young when . . .
~~~~~~
She was confused and scared. She crouched on the ground underneath her mother, like she'd told her to do. There were other hyenas all around them, but they didn't look happy or sound happy either. They were yelling at her mother, calling her things that Esther didn't understand at the time. There was one hyena in particular, a large female who stood in front of it all, and looked at her mother was such hatred, Esther didn't understand. Then . . . Esther had watched as the others had turned their backs on them, walking away. They didn't look back.
~~~~~~
Esther didn't want to remember, yet she couldn't help the flood of memories that swept through her mind like a desert wind.
~~~~~~
Her mama had been angry. Very angry. She'd never taken it out on Esther, but she could smell how angry her mama was. She tried everything to make her mother happy again, but nothing worked. It had been like this for a time, until one day, her mama had come over to her.
"Stay here, Esther. Mama will be back soon. Then we can leave this place and we'll be happy."
Her mama had left her then. Esther had tried so hard to follow her mother's order, but she'd been curious, so she followed her. Followed her to a circle of trees and a large mound of rocks. She watched as her mama walked up to the same female as before. There were a lot of hyenas there, but they were still not happy. Esther had watched as her mama and the bigger female had exchanged words. She'd watches as they both got angrier and angrier. She'd watched as her mama had lunged forward and attacked the other female.
And she'd watched as the pack of hyenas tore her mother apart.
~~~~~~
Sorrow raced through Esther, but she couldn't stop. She'd always known that she would have to face the past at some point. She'd always tried to repress the memories and lock them away forever. Now she let them come.
~~~~~~
She'd tried to help. She ran forward and screamed at them, told them to stop, but it was too late. Esther's mother was gone. She couldn't remember much after that, but she knew that the hyenas had taken pity on her and had taken Esther with them, back to the rest of the pack. She lived with them for some time, as a slave to Her. Esther never knew Her name, but only thought of Her as Her. And she'd called Her only Mistress. Mistress was the one who'd killed her mother. How she hated Her. But . . . there'd been no other place to go.
~~~~~~
Fury rolled over Esther like waves, and she stood and paced the ground, all feeling of comfort and content gone. The feeling of hatred she'd had then was still just as strong now. She hated them. She hated HER.
~~~~~~
As soon as she'd been old enough, Esther had challenged Mistress to a fight. Normally slaves weren't allowed to fight, but Mistress had allowed it on a whim. No doubt She'd thought it was funny. Right up until Esther had killed her. She'd ripped out Her throat, spilling Her blood over the earth.
~~~~~~
Esther could still remember that night. The heat, the anger that had rolled through her, that had controlled her. She still remembered the flavor, the taste, of Her blood.
If Esther hadn't been a slave, the act would have made her the pack leader. Instead, the pack had attacked her and chased her out. She'd wandered alone ever since.
Up until the day she'd met Kirabo.
Esther took several deep breaths and finally managed to calm down. It was so long ago, but Esther couldn't help but bring up these memories when she thought of joining another pack. Her mind was filled with the memories of those years as a slave. Spat at by other hyenas, looked on with disdain, treated like dirt. She'd resolved never to feel like that again. And here she was, trying again.
It will be different this time.
This time, she was older. This time, she had Kirabo by her side, as a friend and companion, as support. This time, Esther would make it work. This time, Esther would be free.
With a smile, she stepped out into the cool of the night, and with her head held high, Esther went in to find Kira and time to step into the future.
