I don't remember much about that day. It went by too quickly. I remember that before he showed up you made some comment about how, true to form, you always said he'd be late to his own funeral. I remember how everything started and as they were talking about him you started bawling. I remember wondering why you were crying when everyone knew how much the two of you hated one another. You started and that set off your son, and all you did was cry into his hair. I remember thinking that everyone was looking at you, wishing for you to stop. It wasn't as if he was your best friend or anything. You didn't have a reason to cry. Your son, yes, I mean, it was his father who was being buried, but you never got along with his father, so why the tears? I remember the board with pictures. I remember the song, that song that makes me cry every time I hear it now. I remember the roses, putting them into the open grave. I remember walking away and not wanting to, wanting to stay behind and just stand there with my grandfather and uncles, though you hated them. I remember that people fussed over me afterwards, asked if I was ok. It wasn't until later I realized that they weren't worried about your overreaction to grief, as everyone knew that's what you did. No, everyone was staring at me, me and my lack of reaction, just watching, the eldest child of a man who died too soon, only eleven and yet so calm. I remember thinking that I had to stay strong for my brother, since you had lost it. I remember that I didn't cry at all, not until later sitting in my room at home. I remember the look everyone gave me, a look of pity for one so young to have lost her parent, everyone knowing that my life would be difficult just dealing with my mother on my own. I was told that there were a lot of people there who actually had conversations with me. I don't remember anything but sitting on the couch in Aunt Barb's house while everyone talked, not eating because I wasn't hungry. I don't remember the ride home, and much of anything but how people were looking at me at school the next day. Its been 8 years this year. I remember him... and that's all I need.
