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 Posted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 4:45 am
Ok.. Might as well give you the before and what happened.. Just to make sure there's and understanding
We were rollerskating.. Bunch of a drama.. Ended up she got a passionate kiss from her (She shall be nicknamed 'B' to avoid any confusion from side stories and to keep her identity) boyfriend (J) soon-to-be. I ended up...
Staying the night at a friend's house. She and I were on the top bunk of her bunkbed and her sister was sleeping on the bottm. She was on her phone with a guy(L) she liked and was teasing him by giving me peck kisses because he lives in another part of the states and I kept saying darn cause she knew I was attemping and hoping for a kiss on the lips. (Boy her sis is a deep sleeper) And soon enough he was tired and she was getting that way so they got off the phone.. Well.. Before she had to move our legs were twined together cause we were playing footies >.< My god was that fun!
Anyways.. She had to climb over me to put the phone back and I held her by the hips as she sat on me. (Friend has known that I like her a lot for some time >.<) She put hte phone on the hook and layed back with me. Ours legs tie back together and she rests her head on my shoulder, I held her close of course and was thinking if I should kiss her. Well surprisingly she kissed me first! We giggled a bit as I confessed about thinking of doing that and planning on doing it.. Appears she was too but wasn't sure of my reaction... Ok time for a side story!
There's this other girl (D) I'm freind's with and she is OBESSED OVER ME!!! OH MY ******** GOD! I just want to scream at her to leave me alone because she always hoards over me like an alien craft on lag trying to catch a hare. I love her but not in a sense of us being 'lovers'.. She is only obsessed over me because of a stupid thing I 'agreed' with doing before she went to high school. We expiremented and kind of had a lil fun >.< Not full out sex but..... So yeah.. Back to the REAL story! sweatdrop
B was also afraid of how D would act.. But I mean, not like we would tell her about it.. And so since B kissed me, I kissed back and we got into french kissing but that was it.. I couldn't sleep that night cause I had a bunch of questions and was only able to get one out cause I figured she was tired.. I told her of how that made me realize my love for her has grown.
Me: "B?"
Her: "Hmm?"
"Does this mean we're closer now?"
"... Yes."
Then I got to thinking, would she regret it? Was this her first french?(I didn't think it was though.. She was kind of the little slut lol!!) Well today when I got brought home I had the nerves to ask her the questions and she said she would never regret it and no it wasn't her first. >.<;;
Another outside story! I.. Can't really explain this clearly. So bare with me.
She knows a bunch of guys cause their freinds and blah blah blah..
This guy she still says she's with (S) is friends with L but I don't know something happened and B likes L but he has a gf and is tied to S I think. But whatever, and so since that mess is like that.. B doesn't truly like S cause I think he cheated on her or something *shrugs* I don't like digging into peoples lives unless I'm allowed to. But I think that's all I share before making you guys have to read mroe and more and get even more confused!
BUT!!
I just want to know.. It's possible to love B too much? Because I realized how much I truly care and feel for her. She does seem to claim me as her bestest friend ever. And I basically almost always fight over her freinds that she's mine but w/e >.<;;;;;
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Posted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 12:24 pm
Wow! That was, um, convoluted to say the least...
I don't think this is a case of loving too much, it's a case of going too far too fast. You never said what you want from your relationship with "B". Are you looking for a "pleasure partner", someone to just make out with 'cause it's fun? If so, you are on the right track. But don't expect too much more than sex if that's the case.
If you are looking for someone to love as in "true love, and life partners" you guys have a lot to work out first.
Starting with the boyfriends. You may be a lesbian but "B" sounds either bi, or confused. Better get that issue resolved first (for both of you, if you aren't totally sure yet...). And if she is bi, then you better figure out how you feel about boys, either for yourself, or for atleast letting"B" have one if that's whay she wants.
After that, there are the other girls. I gather you aren't interested in the girl who's hanging onto you like a clinging vine. The kindest thing to do there is just politely but firmly lay it on the line so there is no misunderstanding. If she can accept that, be friends, if not, wish her well and let her go. If she becomes harrassing, get help early, rather than late.
Based on what you've told us, and that's all I have to go on, "B" sounds like she might be attached, at least sort of, to either the guy "S" or to one or more of the other girls. Again, if you want a serious relationship you need to find out where things stand with her, so you know where things stand with the two of you. If she's juggling two or three other people you do have your work cut out for you. She may or may not be as interested in you as you are in her. If you really want her then the trick is to make her realise you are the best choice she could make. Unfortunately, without knowing you or "B" I can't make any suggestions as to how to do that. Just be carefull, you don't want to be a hovering ufo to "B", you know what that is like.
And while all this is going on you need to take a close look at "B" and make sure she's really the one you want and not just a major crush or something else that's confusing. That happens too.
One word of warning to end. If you start to have sex you may find yourself powerfully attracted to her. Be very careful to figure out whether it is love you feel, or desire. They are both very strong forces, and they can be confused with each other so you have to be careful. But they are not the same. Actually, they are supposed to work hand in hand to make a loving relatonship, but just because you feel one, it doesn't mean the other is there too.
So, no, you can't love too much, but you can love too fast, or in ways that are too strong or wrong for other reasons. So, if you like "B" by all means see how thinks go, and enjoy the feelings, but just keep your head on your shoulders too, and think about what is happening. Love is better if it is entered into deliberately, like wading from the shallow end of a pool to the deep end, rather than if you just dive, or fall, into it, 'cause, unlike a river or a pool, with love, you usually can't look before you leap...
Best of luck! biggrin
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