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 Posted: Sat Aug 27, 2005 2:54 pm
[ Message temporarily off-line ]
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Posted: Sat Aug 27, 2005 6:24 pm
This story has promise but I don't understand how Sango got there, I mean is this fuedal Japan or modern day or what? Also the spelling needs some help, but that is solved easily enough too, as is the pacing issue...it runs together. My biggest thing is that I don't really understand why it is the worst day of her life, nor what she is doing job wise. It requires some explanation, but otherwise you're off to a good start...keeping up the good work.
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Posted: Wed Sep 07, 2005 3:53 pm
Oterys This story has promise but I don't understand how Sango got there, I mean is this fuedal Japan or modern day or what? Also the spelling needs some help, but that is solved easily enough too, as is the pacing issue...it runs together. My biggest thing is that I don't really understand why it is the worst day of her life, nor what she is doing job wise. It requires some explanation, but otherwise you're off to a good start...keeping up the good work. thanks when i get some more time i sall be willing to explain it all
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Posted: Mon Dec 19, 2005 12:26 pm
It's pretty good, minus the few errors with spelling.
Hopefully as you continue it will explain how Sango and Miroku ended up in this day and age (though thinking about it, Miroku would probably be better off in todays world seeing as we have birth control... rofl )
Anyways, I'd like to see more of this story! 3nodding
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Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2006 10:38 am
Looks good...But I also am wondering how Sango is there? Well, keep it up. What's your Fanfic user name?
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Posted: Mon Jan 23, 2006 1:16 pm
It's ok, but the grammar and spelling issues bugged me. I mean honestly, digged? (It's dug. No offence) I think if you just read through it again you should be able to fix all those pesky little errors and it'll be really good. I also agree with the other person that it kinda runs together, but I think some sentince structure variation should fix that up pretty well. I really like the idea behind it, and I cant wait for Inuyasha to show up! heart
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