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Posted: Sat Mar 08, 2008 4:58 pm
Okay, this is a test. I'm probably going to turn this into a comic, but just to try it out, I wrote out the intro and a bit of the story. Tell me if you like it, and if so, in this format/would like to read more. By the by, it is rated PG-13 for swearing, violence, and some sexual themes.
This city is upside-down.
No one even remembers its name. Most just call it “the City”, but some call it “the Cyclone” because it’s just a massive vortex of chaos.
Even if you WANT to be someone who does good, you can’t. Only the police can withstand being sucked up by the crime, the gangs, the drugs, and the shootings.
It scares the s**t outta me.
That’s why I wanted to become a police officer. But I’m too young for the academy. I’m afraid it’s almost too late before I become part of the crowd. That’s why I found her.
- - - The view of the city from our vantage point makes me sick to my stomach, but I know I’ll just have to suck it up sooner or later if I want to keep up. Far below, bands of rough teenagers and punked-up young men look like ants, but the cigarette smoke is so thick it fills our nostrils, even from up here. The girl beside me leaned over the edge, squinting at the figures underneath; her spiky, white-gray hair falls over her cheekbones, almost completely masking the odd, black triangles tattooed to the edges of her jaw. “That one.” She pointed him out. I could barely see the dyed green hair in the gloom. “I’ll go first. You make sure that no one we’re not aiming for gets hurt. And hold on to my hat.” She ripped the dark blue beanie free of the elastic band of the goggles she wore around her forehead, snapping the latter over her eyes while tossing the hat in my general direction. And then, in a manner that never ceases to scare me to death, she jumps.
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Posted: Sat Mar 08, 2008 5:23 pm
Oooooh, cool. I like it a lot! heart Are you going to post more?
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Posted: Tue Mar 18, 2008 5:33 pm
That was REALLY good--especially the opening and closing sentences. Also, the main character already has personality and they haven't even spoken! =]
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