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 Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2008 7:46 pm
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Posted: Mon Mar 31, 2008 8:06 pm
It's a pretty interesting story. I like the plot. :]
The only thing that bothers me is lack of detail.
Y'know? Just add a little more things to display the scene better.
BUT I LOVE IT. biggrin
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Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 3:33 pm
detail has always been an issue for me. im more intent on getting the story finished first and then go back and add in more details
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Posted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 4:13 pm
Well, other than that I love it. =]
I can't wait to read the other parts. ^^
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Posted: Sat Apr 26, 2008 3:23 pm
WOOOO! LOVE IT!!!! Tara is so spunky and cool. No detail needed, it's just right.
But that is certainly a TERRIBLY SHORT chapter one. I WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS. PLEASE. I came to the end and thought, What? What happens to Tara????? 3nodding
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Posted: Fri May 09, 2008 2:52 pm
It is preety inetesrting even it does sound a bit like sabrina the teenage witch. *don't hurt me* Alos, maybe you could mention why she was so angry.; You leave us hanging wanting t know more and then she cheer right up. Just a few thoughts,other then that pretty good.
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Posted: Sat May 31, 2008 7:31 am
I liked it a lot. Make sure that you go back through it to edit, because I spotted several missing words and such, but I liked it a lot. It could have more detail, but if you're not good at it, then add it sparingly. You have the dialogue in all the right places to make up for the lack of detail. Also, I'd suggest that you maybe look at your transition scenes. The first one was alright, but the second one where she listens to Shania Twain, you might want to leave that out some. I don't know. Sometimes, when you add too many music and stuff to it, it takes you out of the fiction part of your story, even if its set in presentday life. When I read it, I thought for a moment, "Ah, she listens to Shania Twain. Cool.", but not everyone will think that way and it becomes distracting.
Loved the plot and the characters, though!!
~ heart ~ Good luck with writing the rest!
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