ok this is of topic but heres some funny quotes from HP.

These are some quotes that I like from Harry Potter.

Of all the trees we could've hit, we had to get one that hits back. -- Ron,

Anyone can speak Troll; all you have to do is point and grunt. -- Fred Weasley

"Brilliant! It's Potions last thing on Friday! Snape won't have the time to poison us all!"

"'Well, I had one that I was playing Quidditch the other night,' said Ron, screwing up his face in an effort to remember. 'What do you think that means?'
'Probably that you're going to be eaten by a giant marshmallow or something,' said Harry, turning the pages of The Dream Oracle without interest.

"Why were you lurking under our window?"
"Yes -- yes, good point, Petunia! What were you doing under our windows, boy?"
"Listening to the news," said Harry in a resigned voice.
His aunt and uncle exchanged looks of outrage.
"Listening to the news! Again?"
"Well, it changes every day, you see," said Harry.

Speaking quietly so that no one else would hear, Harry told the other two about Snape's sudden, sinister desire to be a Quidditch referee.
"Don't play," said Hermione at once.
"Say you're ill," said Ron.
"Pretend to break your leg," Hermione suggested.
"Really break your leg," said Ron.

"But why's she got to go to the library?"
"Because that's what Hermione does. When in doubt, go to the library."

Hermione "Aren't you two ever going to read Hogwarts: A History?"
"What's the point? You know it all by heart, we can just ask you."

"Ron, we're supposed to show the first-years where to go!"
"Oh, yeah," said Ron, who had obviously forgotten. "Hey-hey you lot! Midgets!"
"Ron!"
"Well, they are, they're twitchy..."

"What's that?" said Ron, pointing at a large dish of some sort of shellfish stew that stood beside a large steak-and-kidney pudding.
"Bouillabaisse," said Hermione.
"Bless you," said Ron.

"Yeah, I've seen those things they think are gnomes," said Ron, bent double with his head in a peony bush, "like fat little Santa Clauses with fishing rods."

"Ron," said Hermione in a dignified voice, "you are the most insensitive wart I have ever had the misfortune to meet."

"Are you trying to weasel out of showing us any of this stuff?" said Zacharias Smith.
"Here's an idea," said Ron loudly, "why don't you shut your mouth?"
"Well, we've all turned up to learn from him, and now he's telling us he can't really do any of it," he said.
"That's not what he said," said Fred Weasley.
"Would you like us to clean out your ears for you?" inquired George, pulling a long and lethal-looking metal instrument from inside one of the Zonko's bags.
"Or any part of your body, really, we're not fussy where we stick this," said Fred.

"You're a prefect? Oh Ronnie! That's everyone in the family!" Molly Weasley
'What are Fred and I? Next door neighbours?"

"Moronic though some of this class undoubtedly are, I expect you to scrape an 'acceptable' in your O.W.L., or suffer my ... displeasure."

"Ah, of course. There is no need to tell me any more, Ms. Granger. Which one of you will be dying this year?"

"The thing about growing up with Fred and George," said Ginny thoughtfully, "is that you sort of start thinking anything's possible if you've got enough nerve."
- Ginny Weasley

"Has Ron saved a goal yet?" asked Hermione.
"Well, he can do it if he thinks no one is watching him," said Fred, rolling his eyes. "So all we have to do is ask the crowd to turn their backs and talk among themselves every time the Quaffle goes up on his end Saturday."

"Harry!" said Fred, elbowing Percy out of the way and bowing deeply. "Simply splendid to see you, old boy–" "Marvelous," said George, pushing Fred aside and seizing Harry's hand in turn. "Absolutely spiffing." Percy scowled. "That's enough, now," said Mrs. Weasley. "Mum!" said Fred as though he'd only just spotted her and seized her hand too. "How really corking to see you-"

"I'll look for him later, I expect I'll find him upstairs crying his eyes out over my mother's old bloomers or something...Of course, he might have crawled up into the airing cupboard and died...But I mustn't get my hopes up..."
–Sirius

"No...not exactly..." said Hermione slowly. "More...wondering...I suppose we're doing the right thing...I think...aren't we?"
Harry and Ron looked at each other.
"Well, that clears that up," said Ron. "It would have been really annoying if you hadn't explained yourself properly."

"...from now on, I don't care if my tea leaves spell die, Ron, die, I'm chucking them in the bin where they belong."

"Who's Kreacher?"
"The house-elf who lives here," said Ron. "Nutter. Never met one like him."
"He is not a nutter," said Hermione.
"His life's ambition is to have his head cut off and stuck up on a plaque like his mother," said Ron. "Is that normal, Hermione?"

"Percy wouldn't recognize a joke if it danced naked in front of him wearing Dobby's tea cozy."
–Ron

"'You're dead, Potter'
'Funny,' he replied. 'you'd think I'd have stopped walking around...'"

"So we've just got to try on the hat!" Ron whispered to Harry. "I'll kill fred, he was going on about wrestling a troll."

"Maybe it was some other monster that was attacking people..." "How many monsters d'you think this place can hold?" Ron asked dullly.

"That'd be a cheerful visit," said Ron. "'Hello, Hagrid. Tell us, have you been setting anything mad and hairy loose in the castle lately?'"

"An Unbreakable Vow?" said Ron, looking stunned. "Nah, he can’t have... Are you sure?"
"Yes I’m sure," said Harry. "Why, what does it mean?"
"Well, you can’t break an Unbreakable Vow..."
"I’d worked that much out for myself, funnily enough."

"I thought you lived in that girls' bathroom?" said Harry, who had been careful to give the place a wide berth for some years now.
"I do," Myrtle said, with a sulky little shrug, "but that doesn't mean I can't visit other places. I came and saw you in your bath once, remember?"
"Vividly," said Harry.

"When we were in Diagon Alley," Harry began, but Mr. Weasley forstalled him with a grimace.
"Am I about to discover where you, Ron, and Hermione disappeared to while you were supposed to be in the back room of Fred and George's shop?"
"How did you...?"
"Harry, please. You're talking to the man who raised Fred and George."

"There is no way they'd let me be a Death Eater!" said Ron indignantly, a bit of sausage flying off the fork he was now brandishing at Hermione and hitting Ernie Macmillan on the head. "My whole family are blood traitors! That's as bad as Muggle-borns to Death Eaters!"
"And they'd love to have me," said Harry sarcastically. "We'd be best pals if they didn't keep trying to do me in."

He had known Ginny for years now...It was natural that he should feel protective...natural that he should want to look out for her...want to rip Dean limb from limb for kissing her...No...he would have to control that particular brotherly feeling...

Harry gaped at him. He had not expected this and was not sure he wanted to hear it. Friends they might be, but if Ron started calling Lavender "Lav-Lav," he would have to put his foot down.

"Welcome!" he said. "Welcome to a new year at Hogwarts! Before we begin our banquet, I would like to say a few words. And here they are: Nitwit! Blubber! Oddmont! Tweak!"

"Thank you!"

"Is he a bit mad?" Harry asked Percy uncertainly.

"Mad?" Percy said airily. "He's a genius! Best wizard in the world! But he is a bit mad, yes. Potatoes Harry?"

-ha ha more madness makes me even happier. pg 123 after dumblydore's speech.

ps. you can delete this if you want.