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 Posted: Sun Apr 06, 2008 3:09 pm
Yes, according to my parents (who are not the people I thought they were) I'm confused because I finally confided in them that I'm a lesbian and I have a girlfriend and all they could say was that I was confused. This seriously pisses me off because they're basically just writting off my love for my girlfriend like it's a phase or something. Of course I'm the confused because I just happen to be different. Of course my little brother's "just fine" because he likes girls, so he's "normal" right? Gods this seriously pisses me off! I can't believe I was naive enough to believe that my "family" was supporting me this whole time. Of course I should've figured they weren't.
Sorry for the rant but I just needed to get this out of my system.
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Posted: Mon Apr 07, 2008 12:49 am
Ranting is good. It relieves the tensions some. So we don't mind.
Anyway .. yes, the parent problem. I'm going through it myself at the moment.. in my case, my parents said that 'I'm still looking for my sexuality'. My dad even spelled it out for me. There was a 50% that I realized I was a gay male. 25% that I was bi male. 15% that I was straight. (I'm not even sure where the other 10% went... I don't even think he mentioned it.. and he's supposed to be the math wizard. xd )
They didn't even say they believed I could be a girl and lesbian (oh no, the combination is impossible if you have a male body confused )
What I'm trying to say is... you're not alone. And perhaps you should just do as I do ... ignore them and move on with your life. For the time being. If they don't kick you out, then it's good, cause that would probably mean that they're trying to accept it (that's my reasoning, anyway).. And be consistent, don't hide it that you're a lesbian. You came out, so you can do whatever you want, in that respect.
BUT! Don't force it on them either... they probably just need time to come to grips with what's happening to their daughter..
Heh, I'm so not making any sense right now, since I just ranted off my coming out for the first time.. and I'm too lazy to go up and make those sentences to make sense... so yeah...
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Posted: Mon Apr 07, 2008 2:51 pm
yes ranting is good isn't it? smile
The math wizard huh? That's pretty funny xd I think I'll take your advice and ignore them for now =P I'm pretty sure though they're slowly becoming more comfortable with me being a lesbian. Today I mentioned my girlfriend and my dad (who was the main problem) seemed ok with it. smile
i hope your parents also become ok with who you are smile
P.S. Your sentences made perfect sense XP
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Posted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 12:08 am
Roughly the same thing happened to me.
My mom: "Do.. do you like girls?"
Me: "Duhh, yes."
My mom: "WHAT? Well, its normal to be confused at your age."
Frustrating, yes.
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Posted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 11:16 pm
Basically the best thin you could do would be to keep living as you feel is right for you. If they see that you're not only persisting, but that your "phase" or "confusion" won't be ending anytime soon, they might give up
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Posted: Sat Apr 12, 2008 4:01 pm
lol I think I'll do just that smile
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Posted: Mon Apr 14, 2008 4:21 am
That advice was what I was trying to say ... I guess I could've said it much easier. smile
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Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2008 3:59 pm
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Posted: Wed Apr 16, 2008 6:38 am
And don't forget your parents are people too. They also can be confused about this, hurt even, especially if they didn't see it coming. Like it or not, they can't accept how you feel about it until they've come to the point they can accept how they feel about it themselves
For one thing, they are straight, and you really can't expect them to totally relate, now can you?
They might also be in denial because they don't want to accept that their child is gay. It isn't what they saw for your future, and they might be trying to cover a whole range of emotional responses from needing time to think about it, to feeling like they failed you somehow.
Not knowing your specific situation I can't give any specific advice, but speaking generally you will likely find that it is better to live your life, if they see you are consistent with it it will make it more real that you are not confused. At the same time remember they are your parents and give them some dignity and respect as well. Don't get into fights, they never go anywhere anyway, but they do leave long term bad feelings. Also, practice some discretion. If you embarass your parents or make them feel you are rubbing it in their faces it will make matters worse, and it will take a lot longer to resolve the issue.
Hope this helps.
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