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 Posted: Sat Apr 12, 2008 7:20 am
okay, i have been having some issues with not wanting to post in DLS (dirty little secrets for those who are not otherwise familiar.)
i feel bad leaving my friends at DLS, and i hope this wont be permanant.
this is a place to post secrets, thoughts, anything. for most people, these can either be deadly serious or just passing thoughts. they can be wishes you dont actually want, or whats burning a hole through you. this is a place to get it all out. i ask that you don't chat here, please.
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Posted: Sat Apr 12, 2008 7:24 am
 prettyprettyelly[ crushcrushcrush][ i didn't pick my name][ vamp][ AnABellaSi] im still worried somethings going on with danielle and evan. more than you know. i had seen images of myself breaking down yesterday, i thought i was going to, i thought i was going to be sort of sulking around him at least at first, i felt so miserable. nothing has changed. nothing at all. i am the same i was that night, its just on the inside now. somehow the fear i had of new areas, and me wanting to hit nick, changed it. then i could be nothing but grumpy. i was a little b***h when we were standing by them. but look, i have a history with rose, they are smoking, and its ******** danielle. if you think this is going to smooth over, you are ******** wrong. i cant do anything to stop this, and it feels like all im doing is causing problems. but i don't know how. i'm confused.prettyscarsandlies
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Posted: Sat Apr 12, 2008 9:10 am
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Posted: Sat Apr 12, 2008 9:12 am
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Posted: Sat Apr 12, 2008 9:23 am
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Posted: Sat Apr 12, 2008 9:34 am
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Posted: Sat Apr 12, 2008 9:35 am
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Posted: Sat Apr 12, 2008 9:40 am
prettyprettyelly[ crushcrushcrush][ i didn't pick my name][ vamp][ AnABellaSi] i heard the YIM sound from the other room, and i ran in here hoping it was matt, and that maybe i could confide in him once more, like i used to. im cracking, but i cant let you see me. i cant let you see me like this. i need...to be like ash. i cant have ash. but i have to learn from her. mirror those icy emotions, those calm planned thoughts, all of it.''i am a part of you'' i remember when she told me that. i have to believe it, now more than ever.prettyscarsandlies
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Posted: Sat Apr 12, 2008 10:21 am
prettyprettyelly[ crushcrushcrush][ i didn't pick my name][ vamp][ AnABellaSi] i cant trust anything anymore...even the things i relied on most have always fallen...nothing ive ever had faith in has ever held true
the last thing i had was ash...and now just...i dont trust myself, i cant trust myself even to be alone knowing theres something sharp in the house..i cant trust myself to eat, to sleep, i cant trust anything outside or in...
how can i trust you when i cant trust myself. ''i will never let you fall''' oh but im falling darling, im alredy gone.prettyscarsandlies
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Posted: Sat Apr 12, 2008 10:23 am
prettyprettyelly[ crushcrushcrush][ i didn't pick my name][ vamp][ AnABellaSi] i really would be half way to okinowa right now if i could. but not for the same reasons. i want to do seppku right. thats really all i want. honorable death that will make an impression on you, then ill get out of the way. in with a whisper out with a bang.prettyscarsandlies
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Posted: Sat Apr 12, 2008 10:44 am
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Posted: Sat Apr 12, 2008 10:52 am
prettyprettyelly[ crushcrushcrush][ i didn't pick my name][ vamp][ AnABellaSi] ''b***h, he's going to leave you. stop ******** trying.
- Anonymous''
i got that as a crush tag comment. *chokes*.
karly:[Rolls eyes] It's just some jealous b***h. Leave it. Someone who wants you to feel like crap. ******** ignore them. But do know this. If I find out who it is they will get bitched out. [Grins]
david: .......... wtf. that is messed up prettyscarsandlies
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Posted: Sat Apr 12, 2008 10:58 am
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Posted: Sat Apr 12, 2008 11:13 am
prettyprettyelly[ crushcrushcrush][ i didn't pick my name][ vamp][ AnABellaSi] you don't understand. i...i can tell her everything. she listens and understands. she was there. she felt my fear when his hands came down on me, my pain when you left and when everyone else did. my loneliness when i carved into myself words ill never be able to let go now. my misery when i woke up and realized rain and timber will never be real. she understood me because she has lived my life with me, she is a part of me.prettyscarsandlies
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Posted: Sat Apr 12, 2008 11:19 am
prettyprettyelly[ crushcrushcrush][ i didn't pick my name][ vamp][ AnABellaSi] she may have trusted you, but i cant, not yet. i cannot trust in a far off power that cannot feel my pain, when i cry alone here, i cannot trust that somewhere someone cares.prettyscarsandlies
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