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 Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2008 1:15 am
Hush now, it's all right
We must move on
Let us sleep tonight
For nothing will go wrong
Tomorrow we will start
It is what he would want
Even though it breaks my heart
We will go on a hunt
The one that has dealt another blow
This one will be the last
We have a goal now
For we will stop living in the past
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Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2008 1:18 am
Lol, this is one of my favorite pieces of mine. I have had alot of people read it, and then I asked them one question. What do they think it's about? I have heard alot of stories, and I would like to hear what you guys think. (And critic it too razz Don't just be nice and say it's a beautiful poem XD) Oh ya, if you have a piece you want to share, or something you want to talk about, by all means, make a topic. Eventually when this place get's bigger, I will start to organize it better.
R A I N B O W
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Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2008 7:25 am
It sounds like someone has been taken from the two people in the poem. The poem sounds solely as beginning of journey to avenge someone these people lost. A father maybe? It seems that they've just started out and one of them finds it hard to do this period. However it also sounds like he/she has accepted what he/she must do to avenge whoever it was they lost instead of grieving for the remainder of their lives.
That would just be me of course.
Personally I do like it. I can't rhyme very well and though some of the words here aren't meant to rhyme the fact you got close to the original sound is really well done.
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Posted: Fri Apr 18, 2008 10:59 pm
I like this poem, and it sounds like a parent wrote the poem. Like a mother. She lost her husband, and the first verse is her tucking her children in. The second sounds as though she will go after the murderer, and the last seems as though she succesfully killed the killer, and is trying to forget it since it is in the past now.
That's probably wrong, but that's what I saw. 3nodding
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Posted: Sun Apr 20, 2008 12:13 pm
Lol, both of you got pretty close to the idea I was getting at XD I'm so happy razz . Maybe I should bring in more poems lol. (I have alot from creative writing lol)
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