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This /is/ the mini chatterbox.

I'm feeling a little down, let's get some jokes together!

I have a ton, but I'm not going to tell them all right now.

Here's one of many:

A guy took his girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents." Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?" "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was:'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like...Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!!!!"

xDDDDDDD oh gosh, I lol'd irl.
I dunno if it was originally a blonde joke or not, maybe it was?

I found this at a forum I go to:

GRIPE SHEET
Just in case you need a laugh: Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane but only a high school diploma to fix one.

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.


The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.


P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding
on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

All the funny ones I have are dirty XD Is that acceptable?

Dirty jokes are acceptable, as long as they aren't too dirty. wink

lol
this is a particularly long joke.
Once upon a time there was a snake that went by the simple name of Nate. Nate was very curious about the world that he lived in, and made it a point of his to find out everything he could. Nate found out about lots of stuff. One day, Nate noticed a lever sticking out of the ground across the road. He figured, since he didn't know what it was for, he ought to cross the road and find out. As Nate was crossing the road, a conspicuously large Mac truck came barreling down the road. The poor truck driver was faced with a very tough decision: Run over the snake on the road, or swerve and hit the lever. The truck driver was not looking forward to the latter option, because he knew what the lever was for; you were supposed to pull it to end the world. Why anyone would need a lever like that, the truck driver was not sure. He weighed the two choices for a moment, before deciding to barrel right along and run over Nate the snake.
What is the moral of this story?
The moral is: Better Nate than lever.

I'm sure everyone knows about Pokemon. I used to watch it as a little kid, and these were one of my favourite jokes xd :

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Why should you never let a pokemon go into your bathroom?

He may Peek-at-chu!

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What do you call a low fat pokemon?

"I Can't Believe its not Butterfree"