Welcome to Gaia! ::

Illness through the eyes of a child.

Years had come and gone after the dreadful train wreck in London. Susan Pevensie hadn’t heard about it all, until almost a full day later and it was then that she realized her family was gone. The only person left was herself. She mourned them for a long time, feeling alone and desperate to be with them but soon she realized that they had moved on to a better place and that they would want her to move on with her own life. This she did, though it was hard in the beginning, she managed to move on. She lived shortly with her grandparents and then once she was able to she moved out on her own she obtained a job, a career and even a husband, Charlie Williams. Her life began to be normal again and though she missed her family every day, new and wonderful things were happening to her in her life.

She hardly ever though about Narnia in her early adult hood. She was more preoccupied with life itself and the wonders that were there for she learned by the death of her family that life was too short not to enjoy every minute of it. With her wonderful job and the love of her life everything seemed perfect but soon even those good times must turn to serious times and it was now her turn to have a family of her own. Susan was now the proud mother of two. Her oldest child was a boy, Samuel, dark and handsome like his father he had been keen to follow along in his footsteps. He was brave and athletic and most of his young life and into his teen year he played football any time he could. He was pour at school but was learning to try or he would be punished by no being able to play. He was a carefree boy all for the love of the game. Her youngest, Faith, a daughter, wasn’t anything like her father or her mother. Faith had a wild imagination and didn’t care much for any of the things that Susan herself had taken interest in when she was her daughters age. Oh no, Faith was almost a spacey child, with a heart for adventure and the mind to believe that anything was possible. She found the miraculous in the most common places and you could even say she was more like the aunt, that she had never met. Faith could have been a twin sister to Lucy, they were so alike in personality and looked that Susan had marveled in it every time she caught her daughter in her many adventures. Faith kept her young.

Faith was a small child, and yet, was an imaginative child but very much a child that learn to be on her own. She spent most of her time making up her own adventures as her father, mother and brother were all far to busy to spend time with a little, imaginative child. It was through Faith, however that Susan began to remember her childhood and the wonders that were Narnia. She expected that some day her daughter would come rushing into her, as Lucy once had, to tell her of a whole other world through a great door that no one else had the change of knowing about. Many times Faith had come to her filthy from her play with an absolutely magical glow in her eyes. Another world would have certainly been something that little Faith would have adored to find.

One afternoon, while the boys had gone out and Faith had remained in with her mother, she realized that something was wrong in her mothers eyes. She sat quietly on the floor and watched as her mother fidgeted and couldn’t bring herself to a comfortable position. She seemed distant and unaware of her surroundings. Her face was pail and for the first time Faith could see how old her mother was becoming, the signs of fatigue and age were written deeply on her face. If was one of the worst realizations that a child could have but she did not let her mother see that she was worried. To Susan it didn’t look like she was being watched, for Faith had occupied herself with a large bit of canvas and some paints.

Faith was an amazing artist. For a child of her age she was wonderful at capturing the subject that she had been studying and much like the master painters of our time she wasn’t appreciated for her talent. It seemed to Faith like her parents never really saw anything that she had done, well not her father that was certain but her mother was much more attentive. Susan had marveled many night at paintings by her young daughter and though many of them were of every day objects or of flowers from the garden there were some that, to Susan, had far more magic in them than she could have ever imagined and it was these paintings that drew her further back to Narnia. They had a Narnian look to them and even some, she was sure, had a Faun or a Centaur amidst the trees and flowers. Or even in the colours that the child had chosen, Susan was reminded of something, especially in the blues and gold. They were the most vivid reminders and she could nearly see Aslan looking back at her.

Susan’s discomfort only grew over the next few days and her mind began to wander. She felt pains that she had never felt before and sicknesses had begun to take hold of her daily. Finally her husband had taken her to the hospital and left his son to watch Faith, after all there was no need to worry the children about anything. But really there was plenty of cause for worry and Faith had caught it in her mothers eyes as she and her father left the house that morning.

As soon as their parent had gone Samuel, Faith’s brother, had shot across the street to the football field where he met up with his friends.

“Stay in the house,” he had said to Faith as he rushed out, “and don’t do anything to get me in trouble,” and with that he locked her in.

Faith spent the afternoon alone, but this time it bothered her. She began to worry, though her father had told her not to, and fled to her bedroom where she hid herself away. Her bedroom faced out into the street and from her window she could watch her brother and his friends but she couldn’t bare to watch him out there being care free when she knew that something was wrong. She shut the sun out of her room by pulling closed her drapes and she found herself in darkness. Quickly she pulled herself under her huge four poster bed where she kept all of her secret things and with an electric torch she could see all of the things that would comfort her.

Under her bed, Faith had made herself a little den, like that of a wild animal and beneath the mattress she kept some of her most prized possessions, like paintings she had done that she would never show anyone, for if she had shown them to her mother, Susan would have know it was Narnia. Faith had never been to Narnia but her wild imagination had always been filled with it. It was like she was looking through someone else’s eyes at this wonderful place and could see everything as vividly as if it were in her own garden. She didn’t know what this magical place was called but she could see it clearly in her head. This was where she went when she was sad or lonely because she knew that there she was not alone. She also kept with her an old photograph of her mother and her siblings. She had always seen herself in her aunt Lucy’s picture and could tell by her face that she would have been understood by this person. Her heart ached for Lucy, Edmond and Peter and she mourned the family she had never met. Her tears ran smoothly down her cheeks and quickly she cried herself to sleep, alone, under her bed and longing for Narnia.
When she awoke there was a great commotion in the house. Samuel had returned and it sounded like her mother and father had as well. She rushed out from under her bed, looked quickly in the looking glass to straighten her hair and ran to see what was going on. Samuel caught her at the door to their parents room before she could run in to see them.

“You can’t go in there,” he said severely, “mother is ill and the doctor is with her. Father doesn’t want you to bother anyone.”

“I wont be a bother,” Faith said as she struggled against her brother, “I just want to see mother, what is wrong with her?”

“Father wont say,” Samuel said trying to stay brave, “but it must be something bad.”

“Why didn’t she stay at the hospital if something is really wrong?” Faith asked fear building within her.

“Because there is probably nothing they can do for her now,” Samuel said as he let a tear roll down his cheek.

Faith stopped fussing against her brother and hugged him tightly, “is she going to die?” She whispered as tears rushed down her face.

“I hope not,” Samuel said as he hugged her tighter, “I really hope not,” he looked more like a child than he had ever looked to Faith and despair filled them both.

The Creators Brush

Faith had stood staring at the lion for what seemed like a long, long time. She couldn’t bring herself to believe that there was a lion laying before her. How could anything so strange happen? Was she dreaming? She pinched herself to try and make herself wake up. She only felt the sharp little pain for a moment and knew she wasn’t dreaming. The lion yawned, its great white teeth bared for a split second and the realisation of how real it was sunk in. It looked dangerous for a moment and then not so bad the net moment. It was only something that could happen by magic she thought as she smiled at the great cat in her cupboard.

Never taking her eyes of the lion in the cupboard, Faith sat down beside her paint board in front of the canvas. A skin had started to form on the paints she had been using and back ground, which she had already painted, began to look like it had dried. Paint tubes and bushes lay all around her on the floor as well as a small pot of water that had turned and inky grey colour. She turned the tube of paint over in the palm of her hand and held the black and white photo in the other.

“It would be to much for her to think of death,” she said to the lion, “to see her siblings may only make her more sad and afraid wouldn’t it?” she asked.

The lion closed its eyes and bowed it head.

Faith placed the photo on the floor beside her and looked back at the drying paints on the paint board. She had mixed so many of them together she wasn’t even sure anymore if any of the original colours were showing through. It was like a whole new creation was happening.

“Then what am I supposed to paint?” she asked herself, looking sadly at the meadow and sky she had already painted.

The lion shook its mane and, miraculously, two butterflies flew out of it. They flew around Faith’s room and landed on the canvas. She giggled at the sight of the happy little bugs. They almost looked like they had already been painted onto it. Faith was struck with awe and a new sense of calm. This lion, though large and real and frightening, seemed almost friendly in a way. She looked back into its eyes and felt like she could see worlds in them. Beautiful, calm world, where no bad could happen and no ill would befall anyone. The painting before her began to look more real. Like wind swept over the grass and the clouds moved along the sky.

“It’s your world, isn’t it,” she said to the lion, “I am to paint you in this world.” she said as she unscrewed the cap of the golden paint and squeezed it out onto her paint board.

Faith fell silent at once as she put herself to work. The butterflies swooped around the room as the lion remained planted, almost posing, for its portrait, from within the cupboard. With every stroke she made on the canvas the more alive the painting began to look. The lion’s eyes blinked slowly at her as she moved to reach for more paints. She was so close to it now she could feel its breath. She wasn’t dreaming, there really was a lion laying in her cupboard and it didn’t seem to mind her at all. In fact, it seemed about as curious about her as she was it. She continued with her work and it lay there silently watching her every move.

She was unsure as to how long she had been working. Much progress had been made on the painting itself but as she worked she never seemed satisfied at what was happening. The more she did the more it seemed to need something else. The life just grew in the painting and she felt like it was passing her by. How could she be making something and not feel apart of it. Normally when she worked she put so much of herself into the work that she nearly believed it was real. But this time she felt distant from the painting. Something was not right, she was not the artist, the creator, it was coming from someone else. She looked over at the lion once more and its eyes twinkled.

The butterflies had settled one again on the lions mane as she worked. It twitched its ears and they took flight again but never wandering far from him. Suddenly there was a slight tap on the door and Faith jumped in panic. She couldn’t help but look to the lion’s eyes for some form of an answer. It only looked bact at her.

“It’s the nurse,” she whispered looking fearful, after all what would a grown up say about a lion in the cupboard?

Slowly, she stood up from where she was sitting and pushed the door closed in front of the lion. There was a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach as she closed the door, it clicked shut. What if, when she opened it again it was there? It would definitely be cause for alarm. How would she get a fully grown lion out of her house. Surely there would be questions, like how it got there in the first place. But then again, what would happen if she opened it again and it wasn’t there anymore. How would she be able to finish her painting? She knew that the magic of the painting was coming from the lion. She felt it leave her when she closed the door. She almost felt like she would never feel that sense of creation again. She was torn from it now.

Sadly she walked to the door and opening it only slightly. She was right, the nurse stood before it.

“She is awake now and asking for you,” the old woman said as Faith looked up at her.

“I will be right down,” Faith said as she moved the door open a bit wider, “I need to wash up first,” she said as she showed the woman the paint on her hands.

“I should say so,” the nurse said sounding unhappy, “who in their right mind’s let children play with such things unsupervised, really,” she mumbled as she walked away from Faith’s door.

Quickly, nearly in a panic, Faith ran back to the cupboard and opening it just a crack. She wanted so badly to see the lion again, to look into its eyes and to see the wonderful worlds filled with colour and light. The lion was no longer inside it. She sighed as she felt her heart dropped. She had so hoped it would still be there but now she had other things to occupy her mind. She wanted so badly to see her mother but the painting was not finished. She would have to wait for another time to present her mother with a portrait of the lion in the closet.

The Paint Dries

Faith didn’t remember much of what had happened after she had left her mothers room. She only saw flashes of things, dark and gloomy things. She had been to the kitchen but didn’t remember leaving. She had seen her brother return and saw him look at their mothers room and then run past it like her was afraid of what was inside. She remembered her father walking in the door and turning around and leaving again. It all seemed to strange to be real. When her mind had finally cleared again she lay, half awake, in her bed. The sky outside her window had cleared. A soft sun light played around the edges of her dark curtains as the sun began to sink in the distant sky. She had no idea as to how long she had been sleeping but knew that it had been a while.

The paint on her canvas had already started to loose the glisten of wet paint. It no longer looked bright and alive, as it once did. The lions eyes were now sad and dark. The colours looked matted and ugly, not as they did when the paint sparkled with moisture. It was like the water was sucked out of the paint like life was being sucked out of her mother.

“Why are you doing this to her,” Faith yelled at the painting, not knowing why she should be yelling at the lion. Only hours ago it had appeared to her and it frightened her but now a bigger beast loomed before her and the lion seemed like nothing. Death was a far greater beast and, in her anger and remorse, she kicked the canvas under her bed and began to cry once more.

Faith cried into the darkness of her room, “why does she need to suffer?” she asked into the open space, “ what has she done to deserve this?” Faiths voice was filled with anger and passion as her eyes grew red with tears. She punched her pillow as she lay face down on her bed, “what have I done to make this happen,” she cried blaming herself for not being everything that Susan had been in her life, “why couldn’t I have been better, more like her and not like me, why, why,” she asked herself as tears soaked the soft linen of her pillow.

For the first time in her life Faith felt like she was growing up, like she would never be happy or see the world as she had seen it again. The wonder and the innocence was gone from everything. She would never feel happy or care free again. Everything turned gray around her as the sun outside began to set and she had yet to light the lamps in her room. She began to feel like the whole house was turning to the sickness, that had crept up on Susan. That if Susan died, so would the house and everything in it. It would just crumbled down on top of all of them and no one would live ever again. She was angry and blamed herself and her brother and most of all her father for letting this happen to her Mother. He was supposed to protect them all and save them from harm but he wasn’t even staying around anymore. He never went to Susan’s side as she lay dying along in her room. Felt hate that she had never felt before stirring inside her and this feeling frightened her. Never in her life had she ever been so man. She felt so helpless to do anything, like she had wasted her time painting and pretending and not spending the time learning what the world was supposed to be like from her mother but now she was afraid of the world. Everything looked harsh and sick and not like it had. She was losing herself as her mother slipped further and further away.

Faith cried so had and so long that she cried herself to sleep and as the darkness fell upon the house she fell into a deep dreamless sleep. Her entire body, mind and soul was exhausted.

From beneath her bed, the colours of the drying pained faded from the canvas as the sadness of the little girl and the sound of her sobs filled the bedroom. Sadness covered the land of Narnia, the colours faded from the grass and the flowers bowed their heads. The great sea off the cost of grew stormy and rough. Lightning split the sky with sharp jagged edges and thunder echoed off the distant hills. Great blue tears welled up in the eyes of the Great Lion as he laid his head down in the dying grass of the meadow, Faith had pained and he cried for her sadness and Susan’s illness. Though he had created all this and he could take it away he was mourning what was happening to turn a little girl into a non believe. He prayed that their dreams would heal their wounded souls and that soon Faith would learn to dream again.

The Lion Roars:

Faith couldn’t believe how happy she felt after seeing her mother. She felt like she was floating, it was funny how everything could change in mere moments. She couldn’t help but giggle as she ran through the halls of the house. Everything seemed light and breezy. The sun shone in all the windows and she could hear birds in the trees outside. She was certain that she would have to give the painting to her mother. She would tell her all about the lion in the cupboard, how Aslan had actually come to her and posed for the painting. Faith was certain it was him. She ran as fast as she could to the kitchen and found her brother munching on a piece of bread. When she entered he left, his football under his arm. She made a silly face after him and giggled to herself. She felt like she would be happy forever. She grabbed a bit of cheese and some bread and rushed to her bedroom. She munched away happily as she went, stopping at a window to look out over the park and seeing her brother already back with his friends.

She skipped happily into her room and closed the door behind her. She flung open the curtains to let in the sunlight. She opened the window and a sweet breeze blew in. The sounds of her brother and his friends in the park and the birds in the trees filled her room and made her jump for joy. She hummed to herself and pulled her paints from the cupboard, ready to finish the painting and bring it to her mother as quickly as she could.

“She needs a bit of colour in that room,” she said to herself as she pulled reds and blues out of a box of paint tubes and closed the cupboard door.

She bent over and reached under her bed. The painting had been pushed very far into the darkness and she had to reach and reach, nearly crawling all the way under the bed herself. Finally she retrieved it and pulled it into the brightness of her bed room. When her eyes had refocused to the bright light again she gasped in fear at what she saw.

The canvas didn’t look like it had. All the colour had faded away from it. The grass was dead and grey. The sky no longer looked like it moved but was taken over by dark grey clouds. The earth looked dead, like the world had ended. But, most shocking of all, the lion was gone. It was no where to be found.

Faith felt her heart drop, she was confused and scared. So many strange things had been happening since her mother had fallen ill and she didn’t understand how it could work like that. Everything on the canvas looked dead and as fast as her happiness had come on it was gone again. The sunlight coming in the windows seemed dull. The air in the house seemed thick and stagnant, and a chill that could have frozen countries rose up Faith’s spine. What did it mean? She placed the canvas on her easel and just stared at the gloominess of it. She felt tears of despair well up in her eyes as her heart seemed to break.

Suddenly a roar like thunder split the silence of her bedroom and she sprang up from her bed and rushed out into the hallway, looking all around. She ran to her mothers room and knocked on the door frantically.

The nurse rushed out closing the door behind her and hushing Faith’s hysterics.

“I can’t deal with you right now,” the nurse hissed, “she is not well.”

“But she was well this morning,” Faith cried, tears rolling down her cheeks, “she told me to return to her and now I am here. Let me see my mother, I want my mother,” she screamed.

“Calm down,” the nurse said fighting to keep Faith away from the door, “she is sleeping you can’t go in there now.”

“But the roar, I heard it and I am frightened. I want my mother, let me go to her,” Faith sobbed as she gasped for breath.

“There was no such a noise,” the nurse said angrily, “now you listen, please, go, she had taken a turn for the worst, to much excitement I expect. Her mind is not right. It is playing tricks on her. All this talk of magical lands and fabulous dreams, your mother is going mad with illness!”the woman said and opened the door again.

Faith, for a split second, saw what the nurse meant. Susan lay motionless on her bed. Her face was paler then ever before and her breathing was very shallow. Faith caught her mothers eyes as a tear rolled down Susan’s cheek but her eyes seemed to sparkle with a strange secret and then the door slammed before her.

She turned suddenly and raced back to her room. The door was wide open and the sick looking canvas stood before her. She rushed to her cupboard, hands shaking and gasping for air, she grabbed the handle. Closing her eyes tightly and taking a deep breath she swung open the door.

When she opened her eyes again, there before her lay the most beautiful meadow she had ever seen.

Winters Return:

The sleep that had taken Faith away from all of her fears was great and deep. She did not remember any of the terribly feelings or worries she had as she slept with her face pressed in the soft golden mane of the great lion. He had remained very still for a very long time, or so it seemed, but the security that she felt being with him was always there, like he had always been with her, through everything that she had ever face, and ever been afraid of. She was completely free of fear knowing her was near to her.

The sun did not wake Faith, it was a sudden chill that ran down her back. Her eyes flew open as she grasped onto the golden mane.

“Do not be afraid,” Aslan whispered as she came to her sense.

All around her was white.

“Can you move?” he asked her.

“I think I can,” she answered and pushed away from him. As she did, she felt a sudden cold run over her entire body and suddenly white snow fell away from her in large chunks, “what is happening?” she asked frantically as she brushed the snow off of Aslan.

“Winter has come,” Aslan sighed.

Faith spun around and looked all around the great meadow. The sky was grey, the grass was covered in the snow and no birds filled the sky. It looked like the sick grey canvas she had left in her room. She had not realized it before but the reason for the loss of colour was the coming of the great amounts of snow and ice. It was no wonder there was no longer any life in the cold, sick, place.

“How long have we been sleeping,” She whispered fearfully as she shivered.

“Come closer to me, child, I’ll keep you warm,” Aslan said and she wrapped her arms around his neck feeling the warmth from his golden fir, “we have been sleeping for quite some time,” he answered her question before she could ask it again.

“But I have to get back to my mother, she is dying and I have to see her,” Faith said frantically.

“Time has not passed in your world, child, surely you mother has told you how time passes differently in Narnia,” Aslan laughed.

“No, she never mentioned that,” Faith said a bit embarrassed.

“Ah well there is no need to worry,” Aslan said cheerfully, “you know now.”

“This still doesn’t feel right,” Faith whispered as she shivered again, not from the cold but because a terrible sick feeling had come over her.

“You are right,” Aslan sighed, “all is not right in Narnia, and that is why you have come here,” he said.

“What has happened?” Faith asked, “is it my fault?”

“No, it isn’t,” Aslan whispered, “it is happening because of Susan.”

“What?” Faith gasped as she backed away from the lion.

“She is confused, Faith, she needs to believe but her illness is affecting her judgement,” Aslan said calmly.

“So what is happening?” Faith asked trembling all over.

“History is repeating itself,” Aslan sighed.

“What does that mean?” Faith asked as she walked back to Aslan.

“You do not know much about Narnia, do you Faith,” Aslan sighed.

“No, I’m sorry,” Faith said and lowered her eyes.

“It is alright, my child, but you need to know one thing, without four on the thrown at Cair Paravel the witch will reign forever,” Aslan whispered.

“The white witch?” Faith gasped.

“Yes,” Aslan sighed.

“But this cannot be, you defeated the witch,” Faith said her voice filled with fear.

“We stopped the witch then, yes, but we did not defeat her. She cannot be defeated as there will always be evil and corruption in the world, but she can be detained and prevented,” Aslan said.

“Then how is my mother involved?” Faith asked.

“Your mother is remembering her times in Narnia. A time when the witch reigned, the first time she was able to set foot on Narnian soil. Narnia needs her queen and it is calling to her. Susan is trying to find her way here and so she is searching for that wardrobe and the land cursed by eternal winter,” Aslan said as he looked around, “this is the Narnia she is looking for, but it is not the Narnia she will reenter. You, therefore, must stop the witch in order for Susan to believe in a peaceful Narnia.”

“Me,” Faith gasped.

“I am sorry to put so much on you, my dear child,” Aslan sighed.

“Will you be with me Aslan?” she asked as she placed a hand on his mane.

“Every step of the way,” he said as he looked into her eyes.

“Then I am ready,” she said.

“Good,” Aslan answered, “come, we have a great journey ahead of us.”

What You Need to Know.

The sky got dark and cold as Aslan made his way through the unfamiliar land. Faith was frightened and chilled to the bone, as she clung to him. But she knew that it was her duty to be there and to help as her relatives had done before her. The wind moaned in the darkness as the snow blew all around them. Whispers on the wind, like the singing of funerals dirges range clear and low on the mist filled night. Faith’s heart sank within her as she listen and watched. The moon tried to peek through the clouds of the winter but even her beauty could not be seen clearly and she became as sinister and as foreboding as the clean, crisp snow.

“We will stop here,” Aslan said as he moved toward a hollow in the wood and looked all around him.

The trees were still, the whiteness of the snow covered everything in a thick sticky blanket and any light that had made its way through the darkness was completely hidden in the darkness of the wood.

“Must we?” Faith whispered as she shivered.

“Do not worry my child,” Aslan said as he walked toward a very large old tree, “there are friends here and you need not be afraid of anything while you are with me.”

He placed a large paw on the side of the tree and listened for a moment then stepped back.

“Will you come and knock on the trunk of this tree?” he asked as his eyes shown in the darkness.

Faith did as she was asked and suddenly the tree opened and two little faced looked up at her.

“Oh goodness, goodness, goodness, it is Aslan and Queen Lucy,” a very excited bear cub shouted as he scurried back into the light of the tree.

“Come in,” a large black woman’s voice filled the air, “you look positively chilled child,” the Mother Bear said as she motioned for Faith and Aslan to come in.

“We hate to disturb you dear folk, but young Faith is terribly cold and she has been through much. We will not trouble you long but only ask for shelter for the night,” Aslan said to the bears as they stepped into the warm den.

“You are not Queen Lucy?” the little bear cub asked as Faith sat down near the fire and fearfully looked around.

“No, I am her niece,” Faith said with a shiver.

“This is your first time in Narnia then?” the cub asked.

“Yes,” Faith smiled, “but I have heard much about it from my mother.”

“Ah, who then is your mother?” the cub asked.

“Susan,” Aslan said as he lay down near Faith.

There fell a silence in the small den. Faith looked around her as the animals stared at her.

“Has my mother done something wrong?” she asked as she looked into Aslan’s eyes.

“No, dear one, she has not, but it is because of Susan that Narnia is in trouble once again, as I have already told you. This Narnia is not the same Narnia that your mother came to with her brothers and sister. It is a different place that she is seeking now and must come to it, but there is something stopping her and that is why you are here dearest.” Aslan said.

“Is my mother in great danger?” Faith asked as her stomach grumbled.

“Oh dear me, child, you must be starved,” Mother Bear interupted as she looked at little Faith.

“I am a little hungry,” Faith said faintly as she watched the bears in their den.

“We have honey and nuts and toast and cake,” the little cub said happily as he bounded through the den and around his mother.

“Now, now, the child should have something wholesome before she fills herself with sweets my dear,” Mother Bear said as she brought a plate of fish and potatoes to the table, “here you go child and I will bring you some honey and some tea in a moment. Wont you have something as well Aslan?”

“No thanks you, dear Bear, I am quite alright,” Aslan said cheerfully, “I am grateful for your warm fire, I was quite chilled myself.”

“We are here to serve you, majesty.” Mother Bear said as she bowed to Aslan.

“You are all goodness and kindness,” Aslan said, “we are very grateful.” he said and Faith nodded as she gobbled her food down.

She was extremely hungry. She hadn’t realised it but her apatite had returned to her and she was feeling much more comfortable and content with the Bears and Aslan. The warmth of the Bears den had eased some of Faith’s worries. She had known she was in good hands with Aslan, it was hard not to trust and fear him all at once. But he was as gentle as a kitten and his eyes spoke volumes to his concern and his apprehensions but he was also very kind and knew that too much at once, for the young child, would be devastating to their cause and to Susan’s well being. She must remain strong because she had much to deal with.

“Aslan,” she asked when she had finished her dinner and was sipping her hot tea slowly, “is my mother in great danger?” she asked again as she had not gotten an answer before.

“Well, she may be and she may not be,” Aslan said slowly as he watched Faith, “she is very ill I believe.”

“Yes, she is dying,” Faith said sadly.

“You know this for sure?” Aslan questioned.

“My father will not tell me and our nurse believes she may get well, but they are just saying that because they do not want us to worry. I believe she is dying, I can tell she is dying because much of what made her my mother has been lost. She talks in strange riddles sometimes and she flashes in and out of what she knows and believes to what she thinks is true but is not. She spoke to me of Narnia as she remembered it and it was so real in her eyes, but the next moment she believed it was I who was telling the story and that I had made it all up. She is not really all my mother was, but if you tell me she will not die, I will believe you.” Faith said.

“I cannot tell you that she is not going to die,” Aslan said sadly, “it will be difficult for you, but you must be strong.”

“Everyone must die,” Faith said after a moment of silence, “it is what is meant to be, and I hope my mother does not suffer much longer. It is unfair that she must suffer. She is a good person. Oh Aslan, why does God make people suffer?” she asked looking deep into his eyes.

“There is a reason for everything,” Aslan said sadly, “we cannot all know why it happens in such a way but there is a reason and that must be our comfort and our burden to bare.”

“Do you know why my mother must suffer?” She asked.

“Yes, I do young one,” Aslan said sadly.

“Is it because of me?” Faith asked as tears filled her eyes.

“It is because your mother does not want to leave you or your brother. She does not think it is fair for a mother to leave her children and she is holding on to you, even though her rest is calling to her and presenting itself to her, she stays and hold on and become more confused and lost in what she believes she must do and what is happening because higher powers will it,” Aslan said as he cast his eyes down.

Faith’s eyes released their tears in a moment. She could not hold them back any longer. It was a sad and unbearable truth to know at such a young age and yet she knew if Aslan was telling her this then it was the truth.

“I cannot bare it,” Faith sobbed as she through herself into Aslan’s mane and buried her face, “it cannot be because of me.”

“But there is hope,” Aslan whispered as he placed a large warm paw on Faith’s back, “and that is why you know of Narnia and why you have come here. There are many things that you do not yet know and I will tell them to you. But perhaps they are to much and I have been to hasty in telling what I have told you already. Now come, dry your tears, all will be well in time. We will work together and make things right.” he said.

Faith pulled away sniveling and Mother Bear brought her a tissue and some more tea, “there, there, you poor little dear. You are in good hands with Aslan. He will make everything right, you’ll see.”

“I know,” Faith said as she sniffled and dried her eyes.

“Oh Aslan, the child is exhausted and has much to deal with now,” Mother Bear said as she bustled about suddenly, “perhaps we should let her rest. You look absolutely exhausted yourself, Aslan. I will make up a nice little bed for you, Faith dear, with my little Trimbal and the two of you should head straight to bed for a good little while.”

“I could sleep all winter,” Trimbal said as he sat by the fire.

“Of course you could, dear,” his mother laughed.

“But Aslan I want to know,” Faith said as she stifled a yawn, “I want to help and I want to make it right. It is unfair that my mother should suffer because of me. She needs to know that she has so much more to look forward to and that we will be fine. Tell me that it will all be alright, please Aslan.” Faith pleaded, her eyes red from her tears.

“There is much time for you to know all the truth about why you are here Faith,” Aslan said in a calm and soothing tone, “but I believe Mother Bear knows best and little cubs should be asleep for now.”

“Alright,” Faith said and tried to smiled, “I am pretty tired. I will try to sleep.”

“Yes, I can tell you are,” Aslan said kindly, “we will make it Care Paravel tomorrow and you will learn all you need to know when we arrive. You will meet you uncles and aunts.”

Faith smiled and followed Mother Bear and little Trimbal, but sleep did not come easy for her. She cried again, for all the pain that she believed her mother to be facing and all the sorrows in a child heart to know that she must loose her mother forever.