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 Posted: Wed May 07, 2008 7:51 am
I was wondering for a LONG time WHAT is acceptable when it comes to love and religion?
My aunt would always joke around with me and say:
"Love with honor and that is not wrong because the Prophet razz BUH: loved as well"
That made me think why does she say that to me when I visit her?
What I want to know:
- When you love someone can you tell her if you are not going to marry her now?
- Is it wrong to talk to her if we are not engaged?
- If we don't do anything wrong and talk normally will that be taken as a "relationship" or not?
P.S: I would NOT want someone to reply saying what they want and go off topic.
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Posted: Wed May 07, 2008 9:39 am
squinty1989 - When you love someone can you tell her if you are not going to marry her now? - Is it wrong to talk to her if we are not engaged? - If we don't do anything wrong and talk normally will that be taken as a "relationship" or not? - yes surely you can tell her but with "love".... (not like "can we marry tommarow i have some work today") sweatdrop - yes it is not allowed to talk to a "female" with whom you have no relation - well that won't be taken as a relationship but people with think so since people are people but firstly its not allowed talking to a "female" as i said
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Posted: Wed May 07, 2008 1:43 pm
You mentioned "no relation"
Then what if the girl/boy was your cousin?
You can marry cousins but if you love them it is different then talking to them?
How so?
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Posted: Thu May 08, 2008 9:37 am
squinty1989 You mentioned "no relation" Then what if the girl/boy was your cousin? You can marry cousins but if you love them it is different then talking to them? How so? ...well you can talk to your female cousins behing veil....
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Posted: Thu May 08, 2008 10:24 pm
eek
you cant talk to people of the opposite sex if they have no relation to you? How the heck does anyone who's Muslim get any work done outside the house?
Back to the subject:
1. I don't think you should ever tell anyone that you love them UNLESS you're really honestly absolutely sure and known him/her for a while...maybe even a long time. I think the phrase "i love you" is too overused and has lost its true meaning. People say it so often these days they don't appreciate it or know what it really means...especially with the rise in divorce rates here in the USA...pretty sad.
2. ....considering that I'm breaking all sorts of boundaries, I think it really depends on what sort of chick you're going for. Judging from tassan's post, if she's really conservative, then obviously you're going to need permission or something....
I had my boyfriend meet my parents and I have met his parents....so far so good. But we're taking our relationship slow and easy....we want it to last and enjoy it as long as possible
3. I take it by "not doing anything wrong" you mean by engaging in physical contact with the opposite sex. I think it depends on the country's customs. Like here in the USA, if you're with a girl...you should at the minimum hold her hand or stand close to her, giving a physical shout to the world that you two are together. If you don't do something like this, then usually there's an assumption that you have an issue with women or something along those lines....
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Posted: Fri May 09, 2008 7:23 am
What's wrong with that?
Yup, i hhold my sisters hand over roaad becuz she's litlle.
But you don't have to hold hand, just stand close...
What's the problem in that?
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Posted: Fri May 09, 2008 9:18 am
Ratri_Cat eek
you cant talk to people of the opposite sex if they have no relation to you? How the heck does anyone who's Muslim get any work done outside the house?
Back to the subject:
1. I don't think you should ever tell anyone that you love them UNLESS you're really honestly absolutely sure and known him/her for a while...maybe even a long time. I think the phrase "i love you" is too overused and has lost its true meaning. People say it so often these days they don't appreciate it or know what it really means...especially with the rise in divorce rates here in the USA...pretty sad.
2. ....considering that I'm breaking all sorts of boundaries, I think it really depends on what sort of chick you're going for. Judging from tassan's post, if she's really conservative, then obviously you're going to need permission or something....
I had my boyfriend meet my parents and I have met his parents....so far so good. But we're taking our relationship slow and easy....we want it to last and enjoy it as long as possible
3. I take it by "not doing anything wrong" you mean by engaging in physical contact with the opposite sex. I think it depends on the country's customs. Like here in the USA, if you're with a girl...you should at the minimum hold her hand or stand close to her, giving a physical shout to the world that you two are together. If you don't do something like this, then usually there's an assumption that you have an issue with women or something along those lines.... I was NOT talking about a relationship at all. And I mean it when I say "I love you" and I do agree it lost its meaning and it is overused. When I said nothing wrong I meant no hugging, kissing, holding hands or ANYTHING physical AT ALL!
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Posted: Fri May 09, 2008 11:02 am
squinty1989 I was NOT talking about a relationship at all. squinty1989 When I said nothing wrong I meant no hugging, kissing, holding hands or ANYTHING physical AT ALL!
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Posted: Fri May 09, 2008 11:04 am
Zaaki What's wrong with that? Yup, i hhold my sisters hand over roaad becuz she's litlle. But you don't have to hold hand, just stand close... What's the problem in that?
what i don't understand was tassan's post abut not talking with the opposite sex that has no relation to you....seems like it would be awful hard to work then....
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Posted: Sun May 11, 2008 4:37 pm
well what i know is you can talk to your oppostite gender if necessary and i think it is allowed. in islam, it is not only allowed for you to touch him or her when you have no relation to him or her. in our school, we are very close to each other and i have observed also sometimes that other people talk to others (with opposite gender) even they don't know each other. for example, a guy would open an issue (problem of a country) to a lady. they can talk as friends. sweatdrop
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Posted: Mon May 12, 2008 10:09 am
Ratri_Cat squinty1989 I was NOT talking about a relationship at all. I mean you do love someone but don't go out together as in no secret dates or doing anything behind anyone backs.
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Posted: Mon May 12, 2008 11:33 am
squinty1989 Ratri_Cat squinty1989 I was NOT talking about a relationship at all. I mean you do love someone but don't go out together as in no secret dates or doing anything behind anyone backs.
erm...ok. Like chaperoned dates/meetings with parents and that sort of line of things?
does the person you love know?
...bit hard to get into having someone love you back if they don't know.
Love is NOT one-sided. trust me, it's a two-person effort.
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Posted: Sun May 18, 2008 5:16 am
Ratri_Cat squinty1989 Ratri_Cat squinty1989 I was NOT talking about a relationship at all. I mean you do love someone but don't go out together as in no secret dates or doing anything behind anyone backs.
erm...ok. Like chaperoned dates/meetings with parents and that sort of line of things?
does the person you love know?
...bit hard to get into having someone love you back if they don't know.
Love is NOT one-sided. trust me, it's a two-person effort.
No. I mean we don't go on dates or anything. We just love each other and talk about everything mostly yet we are friends. Yes she loves me. And what if she didn't?
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Posted: Mon May 19, 2008 3:16 pm
squinty1989 Ratri_Cat squinty1989 Ratri_Cat squinty1989 I was NOT talking about a relationship at all. I mean you do love someone but don't go out together as in no secret dates or doing anything behind anyone backs.
erm...ok. Like chaperoned dates/meetings with parents and that sort of line of things?
does the person you love know?
...bit hard to get into having someone love you back if they don't know.
Love is NOT one-sided. trust me, it's a two-person effort.
No. I mean we don't go on dates or anything. We just love each other and talk about everything mostly yet we are friends. Yes she loves me. And what if she didn't?
Loves in what terms?
Like, she loves to be friends and chatting with you? Or is she enamored with you and wants to be by your side forever and ever?
Because if she just loved you like a friend, and a brother, then she'd be just fine talking to you. But if she didn't love you like that, she wouldn't be talking to you at all, OR she would like to marry you in the future....because it would be a very different kind of love....
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Posted: Tue May 20, 2008 1:59 am
Why do you like to make it confusing? xd
She loves me like hell and we both want to live together forever and ever!
Yet I can't marry her now and we have to wait.
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