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A place for writers of all sorts; from rpers to poets, novelists to fanfic writers, everyone is welcome. 

Tags: writing, RPing, fanfiction 

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Myself

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.Luna.Switch.Blade.

PostPosted: Sat Jun 07, 2008 1:01 pm




Baby, you can’t handle this
I’m like that once in a lifetime bliss
I invade your thoughts and dreams
Making your pretty little eyes bleed
With all my colorful thoughts and words
Soaring high with the blackbirds
Like the candy that melts on your tongue
Like the little girls with ropes who were hung
I’m that perfect little angel with devil eyes
I’m never screaming out their fake lies
My own truth is all you’ll ever hear
So don’t ever forget what I say dear
My mind is more complex than a spider’s web
Twisting and turning everything I’ve ever said
Baby I’ll be your number one mistake
But don’t think that I’m so opaque
I’m the one you love to hate and hate to love
Just take a look at what we’re apart of
These words never seem to be enough for me
I’m all that I’ll ever be
Change is something I always so
The same I’ll never be, so don’t assume
I’m in the world’s highest tower alone
Don’t worry though, this I’ve always known
But baby trust me on this
You’ll never get enough of my candy kiss
I’m deeper than the black abyss
If you can’t handle flying
Then I wouldn’t bother trying
PostPosted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 5:55 am


Your rhymes are really strong. Except for
.Luna.Switch.Blade.
I’m all that I’ll ever be
Change is something I always so
The same I’ll never be, so don’t assume
I’m in the world’s highest tower alone
Don’t worry though, this I’ve always known
But baby trust me on this
I wasn't sure if that was on purpose.

Your lines also flow really well into one another. The best section was
.Luna.Switch.Blade.
Making your pretty little eyes bleed
With all my colorful thoughts and words"

CyberianTsuinami
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Dreamy lulu belle

PostPosted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 11:55 pm


i agree with Cyberian Tsuinami about the sectiion that i couldnt quite make fit in... it seemed detached from the rest or just taken out of context..
but i love your poem. it speaks of a strongness and hints at a mischievious side. and also leads me to think that we can never reali judge an angel by its wings or halo
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Poetry

 
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