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 Posted: Tue Jun 10, 2008 9:44 pm
My friend --who I shall call Jazz-- is being really --sorry to say-- slutty. I've warned her multiple times in the past that if she continued, I won't be her friend anymore. Recently, she's been getting better. [At the school dance, she said no to all three guys that asked to put their hands down her shirt, before, she would have said yes.]
But, yet again, she's doing stupid things like getting "Tramp-stamps" [tattoo's on the lower back] because her bf. asked her to. She got a tattoo saying "PlayGirl" on it, and is alright with boys slapping her backside.
I seriously do not approve and I recently got over a large fight with her when I went six weeks with out talking to her. We got over it and were back to normal untill now. I don't know how to tell her that I can't be her friend any more, or even if I should. This is totally tensing me out!!!
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Posted: Tue Jun 10, 2008 9:58 pm
I think it is your friend life, and she just wants to have some fun. I think you should except her the way she is now, poeple change.
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Posted: Tue Jun 10, 2008 11:44 pm
To a point I agree with Shani ~ but it's not just her life that she is affecting ~ when you accociate with her people accociate the 2 of you as people who may do the same things ~ and that could lead to some not so good things
The only real advice I have for you *aside form get used to it or ditch her* is maybe you could ask her not to do these things when she is around you ~ if she can't manage that much then maybe you should tell her that you can't hang aroud her anymore ~ this sounds like something you are seriously agianst ~ *I have a problem with cusing around my friends ... never children or my parents ... just my friends ~ well some of them had a real problem wth it and threatened to not speak to me if I used bad language around him ~ I really valued his friendship so whenever I was around him I cut back on it and over time I wouldn't even notice that I wasn't cusing around him ... one day he finally pointed this out to me and I was like "wow" His reply was "thanks it makes me feel better"*
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Posted: Wed Jun 11, 2008 6:25 am
I don't remember changing for a friend, but i did change for family or work. I act diferent in diferent socity.
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Posted: Wed Jun 11, 2008 6:29 am
if she wants to be that way, it doesn't seem like she'll change...not to be a p***k here, but it seems like she just wants to find the right guy...through all the guys she can get.
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Posted: Wed Jun 11, 2008 8:28 am
Its not like they're considering you a slut....are they question
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Posted: Wed Jun 11, 2008 11:17 am
yes, there are only two choices here. you talk to her about how you feel and ask her to respect herself more or just leave her. One time i had a friend like that. she would dress slutty and i really didn't approve of it but didn't say anything later on when i would talk regularly with some friends that are boys people started a small rumor that i was being slutty. in the end we didn't hang out anymore. but it was not because i ditched her, it was other reasons.
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Posted: Wed Jun 11, 2008 4:13 pm
well all i can say is i think you should tell her how you feel about how she is acting and or tell her that you just cant be here friend anymore because of what she is changing herself into. its a hard thing to do but its gotta bedone!
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Posted: Wed Jun 11, 2008 7:10 pm
We just got over a large fight a few weeks back. I told Jazz that I wouldn't be her friend if she kept doing most the things she did --including acting that way-- and after a few weeks, she did get alot better at the things I pointed out to her. So we are friends again. But now she's doing these. I feel that if I tell her I won't be her friend she won't take it seriously because we just got over that. So the whole "Breakup-theorie" didn't work very well. sweatdrop
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Posted: Wed Jun 11, 2008 10:32 pm
I don't think you two should break up, I think you need to learn to except her, and she needs to learn to be more flexible around you.
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Posted: Fri Jun 13, 2008 10:44 am
shani26 I think it is your friend life, and she just wants to have some fun. I think you should except her the way she is now, poeple change. I agree... o0
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Posted: Sat Jun 14, 2008 7:21 am
My_HeArTs_UnReCyClAbLe shani26 I think it is your friend life, and she just wants to have some fun. I think you should except her the way she is now, poeple change. I agree... o0 and as expected... I AGREE... ( whee ) and you know what... the best thing is having a friend w/ different interests in life... it's what i read in a small sheet of paper in a plastic bag just this morning...(really, believe me) 3nodding
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Posted: Sun Jun 15, 2008 4:00 pm
What makes this problem hard is that i see it both ways. I understand that is your friends life and that she could act how she wants. and that its important to love a person for who they are. but at the same time I understand how you could be worried about her acting or dressing inappropriately. In my opinion if my best friend was acting that way around me i would have had to have a talk with her or at least tell her to not behave in such a way around me.. sweatdrop
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Posted: Sat Jul 05, 2008 10:27 pm
agree w/ meleny...
so dvn -camilla price-...
any updates or what so ever...?
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Posted: Sun Jul 06, 2008 6:09 am
I would actually never suggest not being her friend anymore. It sounds like the only time you've talked to her about how you don't approve is when you're threatening her with ditching her. Most of the time, when people are acting slutty is because they feel they really need that kind of attention. Taking away the attention she gets from positive things, like being your friend, will probably only contribute to her actions.
If you are concerned, you should approach her humbly, with an attitude of acceptance, and make it all about her. You care about her, and you don't want to see her get caught up with the wrong guy or in a bad situation, right? You also value her friendship and don't want to lose it, I'm guessing. So let her know..without telling her you won't be her friend anymore. Accept her as she is, but encourage her to change for the better (never making it a threat if she doesn't).
Also, the book Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge is an excellent read; I think you should check it out and offer to read through it with her. It talks a lot about being a woman as we were made to be - not forcing attitudes or sluttiness or face niceness, etc..It's an excellent book.
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