Welcome to Gaia! ::

Ah, its been a long, long while, but I'm back. Back to my evil mischief!

So here it is! The amazing story of me, my friend Justin, and a piece of crap I used to drive! Now with dead bodies and insane children! DIRECTORS CUT! THE WAY IT WAS MEANT TO BE!!! pirate
-----
In the suburbs of the small Florida town of Milton, there were two teenage bums named Kelly and Justin who drove around in a crappy '91 Nissan Sentra. It made a loud, whiney noise and the stereo system sucked, though they insisted on playing it loud anyways, as if they were deaf to the cracking noise that was overpowering the music.

Unknown to them, the trunk latch didn't work right, and the trunk would pop open whenever they went over the speed bumps in the neighborhoods. Stuff would fly out of their trunk, such as tools and groceries and toys and anything else that was tossed in the back, but they had their sneaking suspicions as to what happened to it, and while they were partly correct, they were pretty wrong.

See, they had won a reputation with the neighborhood kids as Clunky. When the kids heard the sound of the loud engine, they would all run out and chase after the car, grabbing whatever goods fell out of the back. They had become more popular than the ice cream man. Mother's would say "Look, Susie and Billy, here comes the ice cream man!" and the kids would say "******** the ice cream man! Here comes Clunky!" and run after the car and grab whatever they could.

Some kids were brave enough to jump into the trunk whenever the lid bounced open and loot it like pirates. This led Kelly and Justin to believe that the kids were highway robbers out to steal their stuff. Not wanting to be seen beating up little kids, they would just speed away, inevitably spilling more stuff as they flew over speed bumps. They had no idea that their trunk was loose.

So one day, the kids were in for the treat of their lives. See, Kelly and Justin had gone to surprise Justin's girlfriend late one night, and boy were was she surprised…and so were Justin and Kelly. They found Justin's girlfriend sleeping around with another guy. Justin went insane and killed his girlfriend and the guy with a heavy object he happened to find lying around that he was able to swing (he had tried using something else but after trying to swing it he realized he wasn't able to lift it off the ground and reached for something else).

The scene was a mess. Justin didn't mean to crush their skulls, but that's kinda the way it went. They tossed the bodies onto the bed and began to hack the limbs up and rolled them up in the blankets and tossed the bodies into the trunk of the Sentra. They were panicked. By the time they were going home, it was morning, and as they drove through the neighborhood, the kids heard the engine and knew that Clunky was in town.

The kids were so excited! The ones who were awake were determined to take advantage of this opportunity to loot as much as they could. They ran outside in their pajamas, eager to grab up the goodies that Clunky would leave for them.

Kelly noticed the kids coming and panicked, hitting the gas and flying over the first speed bump. CLUNK! The trunk flew open as the blankets came undone and an arm flew out the back.

"WOW! A dismembered hand!" one lucky boy shouted out as he grabbed it off the ground. "I wonder what else he has!"

Some kids jumped on bikes and attempted to catch up with Clunky. The little car bounced over another bump and the crushed head of Justin's girlfriend came tumbling onto the road.

"Oh wow, would you look at that!" a little girl shouted with glee as she grabbed the head by its hair as she rode by on her bike.

Of course, Kelly and Justin were oblivious. They were trying to not draw too much attention to themselves, but were still uneasy about the children.

Finally, as they went over the third bump, the trunk flew open wide and a whole bag went tumbling out.

"WOW! WE HIT THE JACK POT!" shouted the kids as the contents of the guy spilled across the road. "I want to use the intestines in my tree fort!" shouted one boy. "I'm gonna put the head over the lamp bulb and see if the eyes light up!" shouted a little girl. There was much chaos as the kids fought over the dismembered body parts.

On the last speed bump of the neighbored, they lost the bag containing Justin's girlfriend, which spilled out onto the road.

"Awesome! I can sew the parts together and she can be like Sally from Nightmare Before Christmas!" "Yeah, well I already have the head so NYEH!" "No fair! I'll fight you for it!"

Justin and Kelly arrived home soon after. The kids all brought their goodies home and the parents were most horrified. Later, Kelly and Justin were arrested for first degree murder and littering and were sent to jail for many years. As for the kids, they were very upset to have lost their good friend, Clunky.
------
Tune in for the next adventure, when Kelly and Justin come back from a drug run and all the kids get high!!!

Yes! its not often that I find comedy in the stories on Gaia, I don't write it well myself, so this is rather hysterically refreshing. Thank you MadMidget, and give your comedic muse a big kiss for me! xd

Wow, that was great! You make limbs flying out of the back of a car seem so normal! Kinda weird, but in a very good way. There were a few typos and some places where I think gaia added in a few of their own letters and symbols, but other than that, it was great. Good job!

. . . Wow. That's proabably the wierdest thing I've seen all day. I was laughing a bit. . . and puking a bit. . . makes for a nasy combination. . . yeah.

Anyway, it was comically written, but there wasn't much emotion to it, kind of like an old time fairy tale being told. That could be done on purpose, because it was a well written story. Gaia added some letters to it that you might want to get rid of. Nice job.