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 Posted: Mon Jun 16, 2008 5:52 pm
Diaries of an ExileBy: Shiguya Retomasi Genre: Angst Status: Complete Rating: T for language Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon Summary: After being banished for her crimes, Azarus was forced to survive in the hellish wastes of the north. Though she had someone along to help her survive, the pain of her crimes still haunted her. This is her diary from that time. Rated T for language.
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Posted: Mon Jun 16, 2008 5:52 pm
April 12:
Hell, that’s what this place feels like; a frozen wasteland that desires nothing more than to kill all foolish enough to try and survive here. I count myself lucky for two reasons: First off, William allowed me to bring this diary with me, giving me a medium to let my thoughts and feelings out. Though, I do wonder if he did it simply to use it against me… NO! I can’t allow myself to think like that. I just hope he can forgive me… for everything.
The second reason I consider myself lucky is that Karakof was sent with me; he may be giving me the silent treatment, but a friendly face in this desolate land goes a long way. There’s no way I could survive out here alone without him, I would have been doomed to freeze; to die alone in this unforgiving land. Maybe that’s why he was sent along… to make sure I live, but wasn’t I exiled for life? I’ve asked him about this, but he just acts deaf; so screw it. Now, I wish that my mind hadn’t been so preoccupied with Williams’ harsh words; he said something about how long I was to stay here, but I didn’t catch it. The cold, angry look he gave me when he left us here still burns at my heart. What have I done? It’s not wise to dwell on these thoughts… but I can’t escape them. The look of anger and pain in his eyes will haunt me for years to come, I’m sure of it. If only… If only I could go back, stop myself from losing control… maybe I wouldn’t be here…
On a nicer note, we found a cave to stay in; thank God Karakof knows this area. There’s a small village a few miles from where we’re holed up, though, the trail is iced over most of the time. I’m sure that if the cold or some wild predator doesn’t finish me off up here that damned road will. But, such, is the fate of an exile, isn’t it? To be banished to a far corner of the world, far away from those you wronged; out of sight and out of mind… the only thing remotely good about this area is that it’s spring; meaning that it’s not nearly as cold as it gets around here; small comfort though. I don’t even know how to hunt in the snow; so I have to rely on my silent guard to help me survive out here.
Though, it may just be the cold trying to steal what little will to live I have left in me or not, sleep calls. To sleep… to enter a world of bliss where I can momentarily escape the nightmare that is living… an escape from the bitter truth: that I may have lost my only shot at the one I love with all my heart…
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