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 Posted: Tue Jun 17, 2008 3:56 pm
I AM A STEP FATHER OF THREE CHILDREN, A 2 YEAR OLD GIRL, A 8 YEAR OLD BOY, AND A 11 YEAR OLD BOY. I HAVE BEEN HERE FOR ALMOST TWO YEARS. I HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH MY 2 YEAR OLD, MAINLY CAUSE SHE IS 2 LOL. BUT THE TWO BOYS IS A DIFFERENT STORY. I KNOW I AM A LITTLE STRICTER THAN THEY ARE USE TO, SO I ANTICIPATED SOME RESISTANCE FROM THEM. BUT IT HAS BEEN TWO YEARS NOW AND I GET TREATED AS I JUST WALKED IN THEIR LIVES. NO MATTER WHAT I DO I GET THE SAME RESULTS. I WILL DO THINGS WITH THEM AND WE WILL HAVE A GOOD TIME BUT, AS SOON AS WE ARE DONE IT IS BACK TO THE YOUR NOT MY DAD ATTITUDE. I KNOW I AM NOT THERE BIOLOGICAL FATHER BUT I AM NOT A NOBODY. IT SEEMS THAT THEY PURPOSELY TRY TO PURPOSELY MAKE ME MAD. THEIR DADS DON'T MAKE AN EFFORT TO SEE OR TALK TO THEM, SO I KNOW HOW THEY MUST FEEL. BUT WHY IS IT ME THAT THE ANGER OR RESENTMENT GETS TAKEN OUT ON. I HAVE TRY TO TALK TO THEM WHEN THEY DO SOMETHING TO UPSET ME, BUT THAT SEEMS TO ANGER THEM MORE. I HAVE TRIED EVERY THING I KNOW BUT NOTHING SEEMS TO WORK. I KNEW IT WOULD TAKE TIME BUT HOW MUCH? I DON'T LIKE BEING MADE OUT TO BE THE EVIL STEP PARENT AND I DON'T TRY TO BE. I TRY TO GIVE THEM WARNINGS SO THEY KNOW I DON'T LIKE WHAT THEY ARE DOING BUT THEY KEEP ON PUSHING. WHEN THEY GET PUNISHED IT IS A SURPRISE TO THEM AND THEN I LOOK LIKE A MEAN OGRE. AM I LOOKING TO MUCH IN TO THIS OR WHAT?
I WOULD LIKE TO HEAR FROM OTHER STEP PARENTS IF THERE ARE ANY AND PEOPLE WHO HAVE A STEP PARENT FOR THEIR INCITE.
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Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2008 3:42 pm
I had a step-dad all my young life! It sucked, but eventually we learned to respect him! Don't worry that much! They will come around eventually!
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Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2008 5:06 pm
I GOTTA STEP-DAD RIGHT NOW N HE IS ALL NICE SOMETIMES. EHH.. IM NEW. TO THIS. SHHH.
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Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 1:56 am
I feel for you ! i mean it must be hard
but i cannot possibly say i understand it completely , and guess what shannon , no one knows it as much as you . i have not been there at all , and would not know EVERYTHING about it . but i can imagine , and try to feel what u feel , or imagine the difficulty of it .
but push forward , keep trying . maybe have a heart-to-heart talk to them coz u would be amaze at how it would help .
once day u will know at least u did try
coz i havent really talk to my parents about how i really feel for the last 4 or 5 years now , and my bond with them have grown further and further away .
if u have the chance to be the dad or step-dad and love them .. do so ...
and things do get hard ofcourse , but i hope for the best.. and u should too
biggrin
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Posted: Mon Sep 15, 2008 9:55 am
Ihave a step father. (But I was 21 when they got married so I'm a little more understanding) I have 2 stepbrothers. They are 14 and 16 now. They tend to act like everyone in the world owes them (especially my mom and me) just because they've had some hard times in their life. Their mother hasn't seen them, doesn't even talk to them . She lives in Colorado now with her new husband and baby girl. Look, your step kids have to learn that your not just a step parent you are a person. A person who is trying their best. They may not always like you but they should show some common courtesy as you are a person. It may takes some time as they are still quite young but they will understand someday that families aren't perfect and neither are people. If they never learn this then it's their loss. At the very least they lose someone who could have been a good friend. My stepfather knows he'll never replace my father and has never expected me to call him dad. But we've had some good times. Hopefully you and your kids will have more good times than bad. That's all any family can strive for.
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